"Ernest Hemingway once said, "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." He was half right. Trust doesn't just teach us about people; it changes them. It's a gift they repay. A reciprocity mindset means understanding this. Leaps of faith are actions inspired by that knowledge: deliberate bets on other people.” - Jamil Zak…

"Any of us can seek out more accurate, less cynical news. But don't forget that the stories you tell influence others, too. Gossip is our ancient media, and someone is probably tuned in to yours. Try to balance negative conversation with celebration of the kindness and honesty that you've witnessed. Be someone else's nourishing media.” - Jamil Zaki…

Researchers find that people regularly fail to realize how charitable, trustworthy, and compassionate others are. Helpers are all around; we just don’t see them. Some of these mistakes reflect how our minds are tuned. Negativity bias means people pay more attention to bad things than good. Again, this makes evolutionary sense: It’s safe to ignore a…

"Cynics often get people wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s smart to put faith in everyone, all the time. Skeptics update their beliefs based hundreds of children, and then checked in with them a year later. When it came to depression and friendships, cynical children ended up the worst off, but extremely trusting kids did less well than those in th…

"Cynicism is the theory that people are selfish, greedy, and dishonest. Like any theory, it changes how we see reality and react to it—in this case, the social world. Cynicism changes how we think, what we do, and what we don’t do." - Jamil Zaki RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_hope_when_youre_feeling_cynical htt…

"Cynicism is an understandable response to injustice and inequality. But in many cases, it is misplaced. Dozens of studies find that people fail to realize how kind, generous, and open-minded others really are. And cynical thinking worsens social problems: when we expect the worst in people, we often bring it out of them." - Jamil Zaki RESOURCES: h…

Today, we're reading the first few tips from "Eight Habits of Effective Bridge-Builders" and discussing what it means to build these habits. RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_habits_of_effective_bridge_builders DONATE:www.pcrf.net Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL…

Today, we're reading the first few tips from "Eight Habits of Effective Bridge-Builders" and discussing what it means to build these habits. RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_habits_of_effective_bridge_builders DONATE:www.pcrf.net Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL…

Four Steps to Help People Feel Listened To: H = Hedge your claims, even when you feel very certain about your beliefs. It signals a recognition that there are some cases or some people who might support your opponent’s perspective. E = Emphasize agreement. Find some common ground even when you disagree on a particular topic. This does not mean comp…

Grief isn’t linear. Grief doesn't happen in stages. Grief is chaotic. Grief convinces you that it’s all encompassing. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve (aside from the obvious). Be gentle with yourself. I’m not asking you to pretend it doesn't exist, but I am asking you to endure it. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be different, but it w…

I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss, and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today…

I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss, and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today…

I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss, and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today…

In 1998, Psychologist Roy Baumeister conducted a foundational study that showed decision-making depletes cognitive resources, much like physical exertion depletes muscles. Baumeister’s studies found that decision fatigue leads to impulsive choices (gravitating toward immediate rewards or default options) or avoidance of decision-making (procrastina…

Years ago, when I was grieving the loss of a very serious break up, I was explaining to a friend that the grief was really intense not only because I was grieving a loss of this, but I was also grieving the loss of who I was going to be with that person, and I think about this a lot, the anxiety of all of the un lived lives. I’ll never get the unkn…

Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: what does survival mode look like for you? how can we get out of the patterns that put us into our default mode? we've all experienced stress, but when stress is prolonged - we can forget how to relax. Mindfulness, patience, compassion, and practice can help us escape that constant vigilance and return t…

Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: Every single one of us has experienced some level of trauma. We're only capable of acting and responding at the level we're internally ready for. Practicing mercy + empathy can really help us to be more patient with strangers. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistanc…

Life sometimes feels like a constant battle between fighting burnout and fighting tapping out. The middle path between burnout and disassociation isn’t about perfection. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest without checking out, and working without burning out. It’s not an easy balance, but it’s one worth striving for. Some days will be me…

Feeling like you can’t do everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. So, when things feel heavy, when the weight of the world feels like it’s sitting on your chest, I want you to take a breath and remember that no act of kindness, no matter how small, is wasted. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistance.go…

" In effect we are saying the end is not as important as the means, we are turning hundreds of years of political form and content on its head by putting the means before the ends, by putting context in front of ideology, by rejecting purity and perfection." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark RE…

"What could have happened if we could have spoken directly to the people in that wave, if we could have found common ground, if we could have made our position neither right nor left but truly grassroots? What would have happened if we had given them an alternate version of how local power was being sapped, by whom, and what they might do about it?…

"Paradise is not the place in which you arrive but the journey toward it. Sometimes I think victories must be temporary or incomplete; what kind of humanity would survive paradise? The United States has tried to approximate paradise in its suburbias, with luxe, calme, volupte, culde-sacs, cable television and two-car garages, and it has produced a …

"After all, most environmental victories look like nothing happened; the land wasn’t annexed by the army, the mine didn’t open, the road didn’t cut through, the factory didn’t spew effluents that didn’t give children asthma. They are triumphs invisible except through storytelling." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books…

"It’s always too soon to go home. Most of the great victories continue to unfold, unfinished in the sense that they are not yet fully realized, but also in the sense that they continue to spread influence." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaa…

changing the world is not one with a tidy end goal that we will one day reach. it is an ever changing process that means we will always be working with it. and everything counts. no strategy is too small, as it often surprises us what actually makes change stick. the complexities are undeniable, but the straightforward knowing of what is right vs. …

there is power in active hope. despair can even be liberatory if we can learn not to be consumed by it. despair can turn us away from the deprivation that comes from refusing to seek out alternatives. if nothing else, please don't get attached to negative outcomes - even if they feel like the most realistic potential. hope should never been confine…

We often mistake unknowability for dread. We sometimes forget that darkness can be a place for rebirth and hope, not just fear and hopelessness. Today, I'm reading from Rebecca Solnit's essay/book "Hope in the Dark". BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/file…

Today is part four of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about what type of action needs to be taken. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/u…

Today is part three of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about what type of action needs to be taken. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/…

Today is part two of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about choosing a group. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de…

Some of us struggle with a lack of intimacy, some of us struggle with severe codependency, but what is the balance? A healthy interdependency is essential to building self-worth within a relationship. RESOURCE: https://www.impossiblepsychservices.com.sg/our-resources/articles/2023/07/19/the-importance-of-interdependence-for-a-healthy-relationship A…

The need for validation is normal. But, like most things in life, it’s really all about balance. Listen, some degree of attention and validation seeking makes perfect sense to me. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense that we’d seek out external validation because it helps us to feel more secure in social settings and I dunno if you know …

just because you became an adult doesn't mean you have to be serious all the time. here's how you can infuse more silliness in your everyday: intentionality RESOURCES: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/126e9by/i_feel_weighed_down_by_how_serious_life_can_be/ AND https://clementinefraser.wordpress.com/2018/01/29/silly-play-all-day-how-…

To be silly in a serious society is a revolutionary act. By embracing a sense of silliness, you can almost create + enter a new reality within the reality you’re currently in. You can create a new world within the current one, simply by embracing the silliness that appears in the mundane. Choosing to be silly is a valid response to trauma as well a…

We’ve discussed the philosophy of absurdism in the past - the concept of embracing meaningless as a freedom, or even the idea of finding or creating meaning on our own when there is no obvious meaning available. But today, instead of focusing on finding meaning in the absurd, I want to focus on finding the absurd in the meaningful. DEFINITIONS: htt…

Today, I'm bringing you a blog post from Nicole Howard, who said this: "Ultimately, this [mindfulness] is a journey that will never end. We are constantly changing, and life around us is forever moving, so there will always be a need for reflection. You might become great at recognizing your feelings and staying present, but it will still be someth…

Making friends as an adult can feel overcomplicated, but I think it's because we've become increasingly self-aware of our weaknesses and not nearly self-aware enough of our strengths. Maybe it's time to practice what we already know: staying present, active listening, and mutual respect - so we can really build some relationships worth of maintenan…

Today we're talking about some theories and paradoxes that help remind me that my insecurities are just a natural negative bias that many other people experience, and if we can take active strides towards moving through those insecurities, we can forge and maintain deeper and more fulfilling friendships without the fear of being "unlikable", becaus…

today we revisit an older episode and discuss prioritizing what makes us feel good. if you're dwelling on all the shit that stresses you out in order to avoid it, you're focusing a LOT of attention on your stress. we focus so much on productivity, but what if we focused on rest, joy, or pleasure? DONATE:www.pcrf.net Get Involved:Operation Olive Bra…

Reasoning with the unreasonable can feel impossible, but here are some techniques to diffuse intense arguments and encourage others to challenge their own cognitive dissonance with curiosity and care. For starters, it's important to find common values to come back to, use metaphors and anecdotes to break down complex ideas and humanize them, rememb…

How do we reason with someone who is experiencing cognitive dissonance? For example: I know people who claim to believe in free speech but also support banning pronoun usage, race discussion, and even certain books in schools. How do we rectify the dissonance they've created to support two contradictory ideas? Unfortunately we can't change other pe…

love is an active process that involves engagement, gratitude, and practice. RESOURCE: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-15454-002 RESOURCE: https://www.apa.org/topics/marriage-relationships/brain-on-love RESOURCE: https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/love-brain DONATE:www.pcrf.net Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Sp…

When we focus on curiosity, respect, and genuine understanding, we're more likely to bridge gaps with people we disagree with, but this takes practice. This means there is no room for contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling, but that's easier said than done. RESOURCES: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticis…

When we open ourselves up to love, we open ourselves up to pain and loss, but the loss of the love is what we will grieve, so we shouldn't resist that vulnerability. Embracing love's impermanence will deepen our experience with it. “love is not permanently gifted, it is loaned.” - James Sexton “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek …

There is a feedback loop that seems to happen whenever I’m spending more time alone. I notice that my need for connection seems to dissipate as my anger towards humanity inflates. Psychologists have noted this through various research and confirmed that “lonely individuals tend to think more negatively of others and see them as less trustworthy.” I…

Studies show intrinsic goals make us much happier than extrinsic ones, but society tells us to focus our time on the material stuff. Why do we think that is? RESOURCE: https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/archive/2021/10/howto-friendship-loneliness-arthurbrooks-vivekmurthy-happiness/620281/ DONATE:www.pcrf.net Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: S…

I'm on my way out the door of my apartment and it's starting to hit me just how isolated I've become. A lot of it is self inflicted: ignoring phone calls and texts, neglecting plans, or foregoing the follow up. That said, I still can't take all the credit. A majority of my feelings of isolation are systemic: it's expensive outside, I'm exhausted al…

“Nobody can build the bridge for you to walk across the river of life, no one but you yourself alone. There are, to be sure, countless paths and bridges and demi-gods which would carry you across this river, but only at the cost of yourself; you would pawn yourself and lose. There is in the world only one way, on which nobody can go, except you: wh…

Here is a little rant about people who co-opt beautiful theories + ideas and twist them in order to justify behaviors that are actually counter to its core principles. It's infuriating, but it makes sense... Let's dig into why this happens and what we can learn from the teachings, to stop it. RESOURCES: WIKI:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism#:…

Today is a very special BONUS episode that gives you a sneak preview of what we're doing over at patreon. this is just 10 minutes of this month's 55 minute episode and it gets JUICY. If you want to listen to the entire episode, plus the backlog, (and all the dailies ad-free!!!) join our little community on patreon and subscribe from there! The Main…