How To Stop Toxic Self-Talk

Permission to Love with Jerry Henderson

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The inner critic is that part of us that seems to never give us a break. It’s the constant toxic negative self-talk that we engage with, and it has a significant impact on our nervous systems.
It contributes to anxiety, depression, social anxiety, and several other mental, emotional, and physical challenges. It can be a key manifestation of trauma, and the resulting shame that comes from it.
There is a lot of advice out there about healing the inner critic. I have found most of it to be rather unhelpful and actually, at times, harmful. Most of it tells people to shame the inner critic, give it a negative name, and tell it to shut up or F-off.
What this advice fails to see is that the inner critic is a part of you. A part of you that is trying to serve you.
When you attack the inner critic with the voice of another inner critic, you only strengthen it and keep the shame cycle going.
A more hopeful, loving, and effective approach is available to us if we will choose it.
In working with people 1:1, I ALWAYS start with this process:
1. See that it is a part of you.
2. Treat that part of you with radical kindness.
3. Understand how that part of you is trying to keep you safe.
4. Realize that the thoughts are just that, thoughts, and not you! Thoughts coming from a part of you that is scared and in pain.
5. Identify what it is trying to keep you safe from?
6. Build healthy narratives and practices that make that part of you feel safe.
7. Practice rewiring the negative habitual thoughts with loving thoughts
These are some of the processes that have worked wonderfully for me and for the people that I work with.
For resources that can help, DM me on instagram with the word READY for the link to these resources.
Current resources:
1. The Permission To Love Podcast
2. Weekly Newsletter
3. Weekly SM content
4. Self-Love Meditation
5. Private Coaching Sessions
6. 1:1 Coaching Program
7. Group Coaching
You are worthy of your own love,
Jerry
I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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