Seeds For Your Garden – Asking for Help

Life After Birth with Yara Heary

In this week’s episode of Seeds For Your Garden, I discuss why, as mothers, we often find it so hard to ask for help, and what we can do about it.
In my recent conversation with Laura Danger (you can listen to the episode here), we talked about the experience of pandemic parenting, and it got me thinking about how we access support, and why we sometime struggle to. Much as the pandemic amplified these issues, and meant that we were out of practice in asking for help, this is an issue which predates the pandemic and runs a lot deeper, and it’s something I see come up time and time again with my clients.
In this episode, I unpack the reasons why we don’t ask for help, including social and family expectations, guilt, fear of judgement or of being a burden, and patriarchal motherhood ideology. I also discuss what we can do to take steps in this area, in the hope that it might help to move you closer to asking for support where it exists when you need it. I also touch on my own experience of becoming a mother and my journey of peeling back the layers of independence, and accepting that my need for community, connection and support isn’t a weakness.
The books I reference in this episode are:
- The Gift of Imperfection – Brene Brown
- How To Do The Work – Dr. Nicole LePera
- Adults of Emotionally Immature Parents – Lindsay Gibson
- No Bad Parts – Richard Schwartz

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