Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
…
continue reading
At the Penumbra, you might follow Juno Steel, a brooding, sharp-witted private eye on Mars, as he tangles with an elusive homme fatale, tracks dangerous artifacts of an ancient alien civilization, and faces his three greatest fears: heights, blood, and relationships. Or you might enter the world of the Second Citadel, where the merciless Sir Caroline must corral a team of emotionally distraught all-male knights to defend their city against mind-manipulating monsters...even the ones they’ve f ...
…
continue reading
This is a podcast you won't want to share with anyone else, you'll want to keep this all for yourself. It is made with inspiration from Joe Frank, Ken Nordine, Howard Stern, and, of course, the disturbed world. This podcast will help you stay awake when driving, help you go to sleep when in bed, and help you feel comfortable when you are alone. I'm updating the sound quality in some of the episodes so the next episode (Ep12) coming in 2024.
…
continue reading
The: SoBeing Podcast. DO NOT drive or operate machinery. ONLY listen when you can safely relax and close your eyes. A hypnotic journey of change... SoBeing is a Holistic 3 Step Approach to transformation. Powered by Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis and Guided Visualisations, a simple 3 step process: Releasing & Letting Go - Gratitude & Right Now - Creating & Making Manifest. “Success Comes From Being, Not Doing”
…
continue reading
This is more than a meditation podcast. Each episode is an opportunity to transform a part of your life from the inside out. Jennifer is a Transformational Coach and Hypnotherapist. The insights shared in these meditations can change the core beliefs and limitations that create anxiety, doubt, procrastination, and so much more. With each episode, you have the ability to relax, go within, and connect to your inner wisdom. Please do not close your eyes while driving or engaged in other activit ...
…
continue reading
A series of random mumblings on my commute to and from work. Hopefully just enough nonsense mixed with droning monotony that it might just help people fall asleep at night, preferably people who aren't driving of course. Tweet me @driven2sleep and let me know if it's working for you.
…
continue reading
Have you ever asked yourself What's the Point? What's the point of your work, your hobbies, your life? What's the point of what you do? What's the Point? is a question that can't be asked too often. It's a question that ultimately uncovers your purpose professionally, personally - in life as a whole. Join Brand Architect Bill Ellis as he pursues the answer to this question, and more, with people who have discovered their purpose, fuel it with their passion, and drive it through persistence. ...
…
continue reading
What does living a robust, fulfilling life really mean? It’s a question that we’ll all have to confront at some point, and it will stump the best of us. For many entrepreneurs, monetary success often comes at the cost of the other areas of life that are just as important, if not more so. This new show opens our eyes to these “other” areas and the things that many of us don’t talk about. Live L.I.F.E. Wealthier will teach us the path to fulfillment that simply running a successful business wi ...
…
continue reading
Niki, LB and John skillfully walk through a docket of challenging and pertinent issues facing today's Sleepy Americans, such as the form and function of a joke, firefighters who also have to fight lions, whether basketball has a home on this podcast, a quick sidebar, an approximation of the plot of 1982's The Thing, a fun theme restaurant Niki went…
…
continue reading
With LB once again helping the stranded astronauts aboard the International Space Station, local hero merritt k steps in to help Niki and John navigate this week's most challenging conversation topics, including Niki's ruined floors, ants, the weird guy movies of the early 2000s, getting all of your "yellow juice" extracted, penis rejuvenation ther…
…
continue reading
John, Niki and LB ask some important questions about blood and the people who take it from us, before moving on to some more relatable, everyday topics such as the funny underwear that Borat wears, roller coaster safety ratings, being "famous contemporarily with a horse, when a dog ate a human heart on that one TV show, the potential dangers of hir…
…
continue reading
1
If Memory Serves: A Juno Steel Mystery (Episode 1)
46:56
46:56
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
46:56
A young Juno Steel, new to being a private eye and intensely depressed after explosively losing his job at the HCPD, is deep under the spell of a street drug that allows him to relive his past. Encouraged by his trusty secretary, he takes on a strange case. Part 1, Ch. 1-4. You can find a transcript for this episode here. If you'd like access to th…
…
continue reading
Niki, LB and John put down their PSLs long enough to recording a brand-new episode of your favorite podcast, discussing such seasonally appropriate topics as which 90s sitcoms are the most Jewish, tips for dealing with "truculent teens," John's dishwasher installation story, "childhood trauma objects," if hats need instructions, witnessing crimes w…
…
continue reading
1
First full episode of IF MEMORY SERVES now available on our new platform!
1:54
1:54
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
1:54
When Kevin and Harley decided to go full-time as podcasters and artists, they knew it was a big risk. Independent media by queer creators doesn't generally pull in the big bucks, but it’s important to them to make the most beautiful and heartfelt work possible and always pay the cast and crew a competitive rate. That’s why we are so grateful to you…
…
continue reading
Hey folks it's Jordan, the producer! Normally I sit in on these recordings so I can give y'all a synopsis in the eppy description here, but this time I didn't do that! Because of all the ants in my apartment! So we're gonna listen to this episode together, okay? It'll be a fun bonding experience for us. I hope you're excited about getting bonded!!!…
…
continue reading
Damn girl, 100 episodes? Believe it. To celebrate, Niki, John and LB look to the future of our program by discussing a number of topics, including the potential affects of attending NYU on Baron Trump, LB's bad experience with loophole weed, if Mario from video games had a diaper, the age at which you "forget all your stuff," Niki's attempts at ema…
…
continue reading
John, LB and Niki prepare for their upcoming 100th episode by first questioning the validity of their 99th episode, then pivoting to a number of topics not entirely unfamiliar to the program, including prison tattoo technology, loose orbs for your desk, salty licorice, the food fads of yore, making viral videos "dog friendly," step-by-step instruct…
…
continue reading
1
Season 5 Q&A, including 10-minute teaser for IF MEMORY SERVES
1:51:10
1:51:10
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
1:51:10
Harley and Kevin answer Patreon subscribers' questions LIVE (hence the sub-par audio) with help from Joshua Ilon and Melissa DeJesus. IF MEMORY SERVES will be released starting in October on our new paid platform. Details can be found here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/big-news-from-q-111733218 THIRST will begin release summer 2025 on our public p…
…
continue reading
LB returns from space and is appalled by what they discover: John and Niki, exactly the same as ever. Unfortunately for LB, the podcast's mystical properties immediately begin working to erode any perspective or normalcy that they acquired during their working hiatus. You will be pleased to know that topics of discussion for this episode include Al…
…
continue reading
Hi travelers, Harley here. I wanted to make sure that you knew about our upcoming series Q&A happening on Patreon this Sunday, September 8th, at 3:00 PM Eastern, for all of our Patreon supporters. Kevin and I will be answering questions live from those who attend, so make sure to come prepared with everything you’re still dying to know! The Q&A wil…
…
continue reading
With LB still trapped in space, Niki and John are joined by #1 Drivey Superfan Michael Higham for a fun-filled romp through a variety of salient discussions, including a beer bong for piss, whether or not Caillou is "just bald," the racial demographics of Ireland, carrying a knife in Big 5 Sporting Goods, how they get the lotion in the tissues, gam…
…
continue reading
John went up to rescue LB from the International Space Station and got himself also stuck in the process, so this week Niki is joined by friend of the show Charles Harte to discuss a wide variety of topics, including (but not limited to) flat tummy water, bread with seeds in it, girl-related juice, Charles' "anti-Karen" mom, leaving reviews for thi…
…
continue reading
1
Getting More Out Of Non-Traditional Investments With Michael Poggi
44:35
44:35
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
44:35
Michael Poggi shares invaluable insight into tax-free land investing and encourages you to think outside the box. From his personal experiences from the trenches of the traditional investment model, through a tremendous personal and professional realization, to then create a model that works for himself, Michael has replicated his proven tax-free l…
…
continue reading
1
5.28: Juno Steel and the Case Closed (Part 2)
57:56
57:56
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
57:56
Home is what you make it. Thank you for joining us at The Penumbra, dear Traveler. We hope you've enjoyed your stay. (Trigger warnings can be found at the bottom of this episode description and at the end of the transcript.) ------- You can find all of our transcripts here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1OLddnnYamZuglgZc8pM2gqToPOwEBccM?us…
…
continue reading
Hey folks! In case you missed it, new episodes now happen on Monday! Happy Monday! Also LB is trapped in space for a few weeks but that's not a permanent change, so don't worry. We've got a lot of fun guests to help out over the next couple weeks, including me, Jordan, the producer, who is on the show this week! I tend to make the show less funny w…
…
continue reading
1
Calling All Entrepreneurs: Access Your Financial, Personal & Spiritual Freedom Today With Marta Skik Harich
21:01
21:01
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
21:01
Marta Skik Harich shares her passion and drive for the Live L.I.F.E. Wealthier movement. She emphasizes that you are not a victim. You have the power and ability within you to change your circumstances so that you too can live a life of financial, personal, and spiritual freedom. Creating an environment where money grows on trees and streets are pa…
…
continue reading
1
5.27: Juno Steel and the Case Closed (Part 1)
57:17
57:17
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
57:17
Well, Juno Steel. Time's up. It's time to answer the question: Who will you be next? Welcome to the Penumbra, dear Traveler. We hope you enjoy your stay. (Trigger warnings can be found at the bottom of this episode description and at the end of the transcript.) ------- You can find all of our transcripts here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders…
…
continue reading
1
The Secret Knock To Success: Cultivate A Limitless Mindset With Greg Reid
38:53
38:53
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
38:53
Get ready to be inspired as we dive deep into the mind of the entrepreneurial visionary Greg Reid, the Founder of Secret Knock and Author of Stickability. Greg challenges the status quo with raw honesty and unparalleled wisdom to inspire listeners to unlock their full potential and redefine what’s possible. He shares his no-nonsense approach to suc…
…
continue reading
John, LB and Niki press onward despite a number of seemingly insurmountable challenges, including the return of Scam Text Theater (feat. Reginald Thimbleberry), getting a colonoscopy, jerking off with L. Ron Hubbard, distractingly large famous penises, official communique from the State Department, and against all odds, somehow even more. Welcome t…
…
continue reading
1
The Secret To Building A Lasting Business With Aaron Scott Young
52:34
52:34
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
52:34
Operating a business is not for the faint of heart. In fact, it is the failures that provide valuable insights to get back in the saddle and build a lasting business. The key is to be tenacious, creative, and focused. You have to follow what works and quickly let go of what does not. Marta Skik Harich chats with Aaron Scott Young who explores what …
…
continue reading
Hi this is Jordan!! I wasn't around for the recording of this one and all LB said is "warnings for spoilers of Manhunter and idk what else," so you're on your own for this one folks! Hope it turns out okay! Thanks and sorry! Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying wo…
…
continue reading
Niki, LB and John discuss the need for change in America's relationship with its own milquetoast national anthem, in addition to related topics, such as the price of Prozac, new innovations in scrotum technology, the Batman Returns iteration of Catwoman, being Johnest with each other, and predictably, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving…
…
continue reading
1
Beyond The E!: Larry Namer's Recipe For Business And Life
53:11
53:11
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
53:11
A humble Hollywood legend, Larry Namer, shares his time with us to explore how he co-founded the E! Television Network, Talk Soup, and changed pop culture not even realizing it at the time. Larry then goes on to share how it is important to be humble, have an altruistic mindset when it comes to business and not to take yourself too seriously. Larry…
…
continue reading
1
Energy, Manifestation, Abundance: Your Entrepreneurial Edge With Marty Barigian
49:43
49:43
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
49:43
Our guest, Marty Barigian, a Master Energy & Grid Connector, shows us various ways a business owner and entrepreneurs can use their energy to obtain the effects they are looking for. When manifestation is in alignment with your being and your integrity, minor energy shifts will produce grand results in your life. Marty shares with us how important …
…
continue reading
1
5.26: Second Citadel--The World to Come (Part 3)
1:18:04
1:18:04
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
1:18:04
Given but one short and precious life, what world will you bring to bear? Welcome to the Penumbra, dear Traveler. We hope you enjoy your stay. (Trigger warnings can be found at the bottom of this episode description and at the end of the transcript.) ------- You can find all of our transcripts here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1OLddnnYam…
…
continue reading
1
How Old Is Walt Disney When He “Comes Out”
1:13:17
1:13:17
「あとで再生する」
「あとで再生する」
リスト
気に入り
気に入った
1:13:17
John, Niki and LB go the extra mile this week by proving evolution, showcasing their incredible psychic powers, taking the time to look at and think about breasts while live on a podcast, exposing the Coors nuclear waste controversy, making the world-first announcement of a new Shrek film, and if you can believe it, somehow even more. Welcome to If…
…
continue reading