Silent Crisis: Busyness is Creating Sexless Marriages

The Generous Husband

I’ve been aware of a growing trend of sexless marriages in Asian countries for several decades. In the early nineties, a Japanese psychiatrist introduced the term “sexless couple”. He defined that as a couple with no circumstances preventing sex who go without sex by mutual agreement. Today, it’s estimated 45% of Japanese couples are sexless. In South Korea, 35% of married couples are sexless. And in both countries, half again as many are in low sex marriages.

Of course, there’s plenty of masturbation going on, as well as a good deal of sex with prostitutes. One researcher said having sex with your partner requires a lot of energy. Paid sex is easier and less costly in terms of time and energy. Masturbation is easier still. It’s been suggested Japanese and South Korean couples are so sexless because they are too exhausted for married sex.

And we in the US are going the same way. The best study I could find puts sexless here at 15% of marriages. Many think that’s an undercount, and when you include low sex marriages, the number easily passes a third of couples.

And again, lack of time and energy is the biggest factor. There are a lot of couples out there where both husband and wife are masturbating. They want sex, but they don’t have what it takes to do that with their spouse. Solo sex comes down to being practical.

A lot of guys who say they want more sex don’t have the time and energy to engage in the kind of sex that would be good for their wife. Their complaint is hollow because they’re unwilling to do what it would take to make more sex mutually enjoyable.

Busyness is a national epidemic. It’s hurting our physical and mental health. It’s hurting our children. Furthermore, it’s killing our marriages and our sex lives. How this will progress has already been shown by Japan and South Korea.

I’ve made this about sex to get your attention. But there are a lot of good reasons beyond sex to rethink how busy we are. Please take some time to pray about this issue. Then do what you think is right with God in 2025.

Image Credit: © Andrey Popov | stock.adobe.com
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The post Silent Crisis: Busyness is Creating Sexless Marriages first appeared on The Generous Husband.