85. The Fine Art of Listening for Parents of Struggling Teens

Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

Listening is the key that unlocks understanding and it allows us to be more helpful to our teens (and others!). So how can we become better listeners? Not only to our struggling teens, our children, but to everyone around us?

“The more I let go of what I think my adult children should or shouldn’t do, the more they have taken accountability for their actions in their life” - Beth Hillman

I see it all the time (and believe me, I’ve been there too!): parents who are trying to convince their teen not to do something, and by doing so they trigger them to get defensive. This is the last thing we want, isn’t it? Instead, I’m inviting you to try listening. It might be surprising to you, but the best and most permanent way to change a mind is getting the person to talk in a non-defensive way about their beliefs.

So let’s work together on the simple, yet often difficult skill of listening without judgment, opinion, solving, or criticizing. Let’s develop a relationship with our teens where they know we’re here to listen to them. Are you ready? Let’s dive in!
In this episode on the fine art of listening for parents of struggling teens, we discuss:

• How to listen without judgment, opinions, solving or criticizing;
• What I believe to be THE way to shift our thinking;
• What it takes to change a mind;
• Why ‘I feel’ statements don’t always work;
• Developing the relationship of ‘I’m here to listen to you, kid’;
• The role of asking questions in active listening;
• And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.
Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Article: Tell Me More: The Fine Art of Listening by Brenda Ueland
• Book: How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion by David Mcrany
• Book: I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. Sorensen

Want to learn more about the skill of listening? Listen back to episode #47 The Power of Listening to Our Kids’ Feedback With Less Harris!