Manage episode 281807553 series 1321650
Good morning HWIDG-ers! It's a new year, a new day, and a new country apparently! Welcome to Neo-USA! They've really shaken things up with this time, so let's go down a list of some of the changes you can expect. North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho are now one big state called Farmville. Kansas has been renamed North Oklahoma, Texas has been renamed South Oklahoma, and Arkansas has been converted into an Arkansas shaped pit of spikes where we throw dissidents. California has been broken up into several states including Movietown, Vans Buren, and Animalstylington. Washington and Oregon will now be known as Upper and Lower Patchoulistank, respectively. Finally, Canada has become New Maine as Maine was devoured yet again by a Stephen King space monster. There are plenty of local changes as well, so be sure to look out for any pamphlets detailing those in your area, and remember, don't break curfew or the robots will yell at you for:
- Being a Dick to your Kids
- Not Doing Your Homework
- Moving Out
This one is actually a Do-Get, because apparently we don't care anymore! Is Uncle Buck secretly a Bean Dad? Or is he just your classic 1950's sitcom role model? As a father, you're supposed to teach your kids what your father taught you with a belt. Whether or not you use your own belt is a choice every father has to make. Do you perpetuate the cycle of dad-violence? Or do you rise up and be a better man and instead scar them emotionally? You might just be surprised which one Buck chooses.
Sometimes you just stumble onto things. Maybe you overhear some big secret your neighbor's wife is hiding from him. Maybe you catch a glimpse of an email at work you definitely weren't supposed to see. You are then left with the decision of breaking hard news or not. Do you let it boil inside you as you watch the trainwreck from the side of the road? Or do you try to intervene, knowing full well you're putting yourself in the crosshairs as well? Tab and Tim may never be the same again......
Moving sucks. But generally in life you move up, or at least laterally. Taking a new job accross the country is a hassle, but you're probably moving into a similarly sized place. Moving from one apartment to the next? Same deal. Moving to a studio apartment after your wife divorces you after you catch her cheating and she gets to keep the house that you paid for? That's gonna suck. No one is moving out without additional pain.