Episode 202 - 250K Dongs In My Pocket

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Manage episode 274041943 series 1321650
著作 Tab Birt の情報はPlayer FM及びコミュニティによって発見されました。著作権は出版社によって所持されます。そして、番組のオーディオは、その出版社のサーバから直接にストリーミングされます。Player FMで購読ボタンをタップし、更新できて、または他のポッドキャストアプリにフィードのURLを貼り付けます。

With the official start of the spooky season, HWIDG is proud to bring to you life's scariest costumes! No vampires or ghouls here, though. No, we've got a line of the highest quality, low-quality costumes of life's actual monsters. Like: taxes! BOO! Okay hotshot, not scared yet? How about a broken condom! Get ready for those child-support payments bud! Or what about this: a kidney stone! You've never wished for the sweet relief of Lady Death faster than when one of these is stuck sideways in your tubes, eh? Also featuring:
* Mice
* Hyper-Edited Podcasts
* Self-Censoring
* Rich White People

Small, beady eyes. A love of cheese and peanut butter. A severe physiological reaction to cats. But enough about me, lets talk mice. Vermin. Rodents. Do other words sound like they're moist like these do? They're perfectly suited for the tiny scuttling creatures that currently have the Handlebreaker House in terror! Even a single rogue mouse, if bold enough, can get you into attack mode (or more accurately fight or flight mode with a heavy emphasis on flight). And we keep trying to re-invent the mouse trap yet somehow these little creepy-crawlies must have their own mouse scientist working on a "How to Lick the Peanut Butter Off of a Trap 2020" pamphlet. Well, stop it Brain!
Look, we don't claim to be the be-all and end-all on how to run a podcast. We do our thing and we stick to it. No one wants to hear 20 seconds of silence while you pull up a news story, sure, but there's got to be some middle ground between not editing at all and the hyper-stylized flash-forward speed of some of the podcasts out there. Maybe some nutso out there needs to have no gaps between words spoken, but come on, let there be a flow to the conversation.

Look, i'm not pointing any elbows, but i'm fed up with a certain website that's got Tube in the name. It's probably my most visited website, and heck I even pay for their premium service, but sometimes I wonder if its worth it. I've also got qualms about a certain Hub if you will. *nstagr*m deleted my last selfie for being too risque, what's up with that? And my car isn't doing so great, it's a F*rd. WHOA I DIDN'T SAY FORD, DON'T YOU PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH.
Everyone likes money. Everyone hates losing money, especially other people taking it from you. So when you get a lot of it, you like to keep a lot of it. Well, it sure would be nice if you could keep more of this money than your neighbor. Well, invest a little of that money in a poliitcal campaign, toss a couple of platitudes around and BAM, you're on top of the ladder with all your money, making the rules about what those other people can do with theirs. And wouldn't it be nice to have a little more money? Sure would. Well, with your new found power, you can take a little bit from each of those tiny people down there. So you do that a few times and they like you! You do them good. You keep them safe. Yeah! You know what's best for those people. You know better.
All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT! Plus check out the video segment of Lower Decks-pectations Episode 3!

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