"Why cant I cry anymore?" ep. 190

Ask Kati Anything

This week on Ask Kati Anything, Kati talks about why we can’t cry sometimes, and how on the day of therapy we can actually feel better and not share what’s really going on with us. Then she explains how therapists read the room, and how we can all deal with disappointment and frustration. Finally she discusses ways that we can support a friend who recently attempted to take their own life.

Audience questions: 1. When I started therapy, I cried a lot in session because it was just so overwhelming to talk and think about my emotions and things I’ve been through. I had never talked to a therapist before so I would just cry out of overwhelm. I’ve been working with my therapist for almost 6 months now and I’m hitting a block where I can’t cry in session. We are talking about trauma from high school and I can run through the whole story without crying. Even my therapist cried. Why can’t I feel this emotion? Is it because it was so long ago? I feel weird not having an emotional response. 2. So I have an issue with therapy. All week I am on an emotional roller coaster. When therapy day comes, I wake up completely put together- like nothing is wrong and I am completely centered. As soon as I leave my appointment I get so upset for not sharing how I'm really doing. I have told my therapist about this, and he told me to write things down throughout the week as they come up and bring it with me. I wrote them down but can't seem to hand it over. I am processing a trauma, and I think I'm stuck due to extreme self-loathing and disgust. He said it's a defense mechanism, which to some extent is true. 3. I'm wondering if you could talk about how therapists "read the room" and "read minds"? How do you learn to analyze cues and signs the patient is presenting with and what if there are inconsistencies? 4. How can I deal with disappointment/ frustration and be more patient with myself? Every time a therapy session doesn’t go as I hoped and we don’t get to work on the trauma as we planned, for example because I dissociate or because we talk about something that came up during the week, after the session I’m always really desperate and hopeless and angry with myself, and also guilty because I feel like should be able to control my dissociation so it doesn’t get in the way so much. It just feels like wasting time and that scares me. My therapist always tells me that I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself, and I’m sure she’s right, but I don’t know how. 5. My best friend is in hospital after a suicide attempt a few days ago. And I don’t know how to be around her now. My feelings jump around and change all the time. I am shocked, I’m sad that she was so desperate, I am scared to say something wrong that will push her over the edge and try again. I’m relieved that she is alive. I was so scared when she didn’t answer any calls, texts and her doorbell, after I saw the ambulance in front of her house. I’m angry with her, and I feel guilty for being angry. She planned it, and I felt that... MY BOOKS ⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠⁠ While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist. Simply click ⁠HERE

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PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney [e-mail] PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

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