"Is it burnout or depression?" ep.193

Ask Kati Anything

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses why we can overly attach to teachers, how to know if our burnout is turning into depression, and how to get through trauma processing without using unhealthy coping skills. Kati then explains why we can sometimes want to keep our eating disorders, why OCD squashes our insight, and how to sleep when struggling with PTSD. Ask Kati Anything- your mental health podcast, episode 193 1. I think I overly-attach to my teachers who also happen to be my research advisors. I really wish they could be my moms, I constantly seek their validation and approval. I want to make them feel proud of me. You get the idea. How can I become more aware of this? How can I stop trying to fill my parents' void by pushing other people into it? 2. How do I know if what I'm feeling is more related to burnout or is entering into the realm of depression? I am not necessarily sad all the time but am at a point where I am just down and don't really have any interest in doing things anymore because I feel I have no energy or motivation, which I know sounds a lot like depression... 3. I just started reprocessing trauma with my wonderful therapist. My problem is that with just one session of this, I have become unraveled. My emotions are so intense that I am wanting to cope in unhealthy ways such as cutting which I haven't done in a long time and having suicidal thought of which I have attempted before and am angry that I lived... 4. My question is what if I want to keep my eating disorder? What if the pros to keep it far more than the pros to lose it. It helps with my c-ptsd symptoms and even though I do not, not, not see it it keeps me small. Like being underweight gets me closer to being invisible, it helps me hide, I can hide in more places, and it’s comforting(??)... 5. My question is about OCD and insight. I have a diagnosis of OCD but sometimes I don’t actually think I have it at all. There are rooms in my house that I cannot use because they are contaminated and I can’t get them to be uncontaminated no matter how hard I try. The person that lived here before me was a heavy smoker and the place was coated in nicotine to the point that it was ingrained in all the woodwork and silicone round windows etc... 6. I can’t sleep. I don’t want to close my eyes. I have panic attacks if I am woken during the night. I can’t stop and relax at all and I find myself doom scrolling social media until I am absolutely exhausted. I know I shouldn’t be on my phone before going to sleep. When I was a little girl my bedroom was not safe. I don’t feel safe. I feel like I’m trying desperately to avoid having to stop. Keeping busy gives my mind something else to focus on. I’ve tried melatonin but that just makes me feel awful and like I’m hungover the next day. It doesn’t help sleep anyway. I’ve tried changing my room around to make it different and I have a night light so when I awake through the night I can quickly identify my surroundings. I feel so embarrassed that I have to have a night light in my 40s. Do you have any suggestions to help with sleep when it doesn’t feel safe?

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