Leaders and Lovers


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Ep33 Leaders and Lovers

Hello and Welcome to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast. My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of:

What do great leaders and lovers have in common?

In our current times of upheaval, a question that came up for me is what is a good leader? What in the world would make me want to follow anyone in this world, especially someone who thinks they are a leader?

The first person that came to mind who wrote a great book on the issue is Simon Sinek. His book, Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Some Don’t, lays out core principles of what makes a good leader especially because what they accomplish is to bring people together into teams that produce ideas and work greater than any one single person could.

A few of the core principles he proposes are as follows:

Real responsibility means caring about other people and allowing yourself to get attached.

Leaders need to take the mental and physical well-being of their followers into account if they want those followers to work as best as they can.

To be an effective leader, you’ll need to learn to delegate and trust people to do their work effectively. If you’ve done your job as a teacher and inspirational manager well enough, your followers should do what they need to perfectly.

Humans First, Numbers Second

I agree with Sinek that leaders with these qualities make it easy to follow them. The ship is moving in the right direction with an effective captain at the helm.

So…What does this have to do with lovers? Nothing…I just wanted a cool title…just kidding😊

Actually, Gary Chapman’s book entitled the 5 Love Languages shows that lovers and leaders can actually have quite a bit in common.

For example: one love language is Words of affirmation. If this is your love language then a great leader would know instantly to work with you that way.

Another one is Acts of Service. This love language means that a great leader would know when you are overwhelmed and would step in to relieve that pressure.

Then there is the love language of Quality time. “This love language is about being together, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.”

A great leader knows to put down the phone, move away from the computer and give you their undivided attention.

So, there it is. Great leaders are great lovers in the sense that they fully engage in their peoples’ love languages.

Is there anything the Way of the Emotional Warrior can add to this? I propose that great lovers and great leaders possess the quality of timing…timing…exquisite timing. When you do something is as important if not moreso than what you do. Both, great leaders and lovers know intuitively what to do and when to do it. This is a carefully crafted skill with tremendous skill and acumen of human behavior and needs.

I believe that what I have described here is actually most beneficial when realized and accomplished within oneself first and then expressed to the outside world. Imagine that you start to understand the timing of your own inner world of wants and needs that are physical, emotional, and spiritual. It is truly an act of empowerment and advancement of one’s consciousness when you can become your own best leader. It is truly accomplished when aligned with the heart frequencies.


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