Am I allowed to grieve? | Episode 11

The Art of Dying Well

Something's not right. You've not heard from your father-in-law for a few weeks. You're close. That's not usual. The milk's on the doorstep, yesterday's papers are poking out of the letterbox. You know what's happened but you don't want to think it let alone say it. This is how Erica Buist felt when she encouraged husband Dion to cross London to check on his father. "I had to find a way to get him to check on Chris knowing I was sending him to find a dead body..."Finding a loved one dead at home is deeply traumatic. But what happens if you start to think you're not even entitled to grieve? What will you say to your work colleagues? How can you explain you're struggling to cope and can barely set foot outside your house? What happens when 'normal' daily tasks become impossible?In this month's Art of Dying Well podcast, Erica joins us in the studio (accompanied by her cute Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Ludo) to tell us her story and how she decided to deal with death. It's a fascinating story that involves visiting seven of the world's death festivals. So far the Day of the Dead - Día de Muertos - has been ticked off the list with a trip to Mexico. We find out whether this experience has changed Erica's perceptions of death, grief and recovery.The View from the Chaplain's Chair is a response from the marvellous Fr George Bowen.