S2E8 - A Declaration of Independence

Stupid Fat Hobbits

Johnny and Pat declare their independence from Chris and host the show. Pat hasn't seen Hot Rod. Chris demonstrates his manipulative hosting power. Johnny's Corner is just about what you'd expect it to be. Pat, overwhelmed by the moment, reads CNN. The host and the other host ask the ex-host to bring an Around the Table...to the table. Alexa talks about snails. Alexa is dumb and useless. The lads bash Alexa. Pat, as senior co-host, begins a round of questioning about every-day trinkets and things taken for granted in order to foster debate and deep thought in a continuous and swirling Around the Table. Why are bathrobes a thing? How was the beanbag chair invented? What's the point of bobbleheads? Chris denies that he doesn't dream of Max Scherzer so aggressively that there can be no doubt he does indeed have fraternations with the bobblehead in the night. Onward. Is drinking diet soda the equivalent of going to the gym, taking an insta selfie, and leaving? Is going to the movies by yourself weird? Johnny reveals that he is far too insecure to do anything by himself. Chris straps bobbleheads into movie theater seatbelts. Pat likes watching movies about tanners. In a very odd turn of events, Chris drones on about King Tut and his supposed love of history. Johnny, not to be undone, takes the convo to Aztec rituals. In a not so odd turn of events, Chris admits that his knowledge of history is informed by National Treasure. Johnny makes a joke about nothing; nothing was funny. The lads discuss the various strategies of handling a bully. Johnny and Pat will be opening "Bully School: A School for Future Comedians." The lads end the show as they always do, bickering about titles and power, responsibilities and privileges, hosts and no-hosts, the insidious nature of social media, the challenges every republic faces, the art of war, the beauty of selfless love, the failing of the once strong bonds of fellowship, the fickleness of the mob, the wonder of finding the untrodden path, the fulfillment in the search for meaning, and the penchant for vice despite knowing deep down the road to happiness is found in virtue.