445: How to help your withdrawing partner be vulnerable

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Foreplay listeners, join us today in a 'School of Love' lesson all about the withdrawer's world! Withdrawers are often shutting down, walking away or seeming closed off in the cycle. These moves help them get safe and regulated but are a step in the negative cycle because the pursuing partner is left alone. When we can slow down, and be patient we can help to reveal the vulnerable underbelly of the emotional and sexual withdrawer. In two amazing role plays, hosts Laurie and George display exactly how to get slow, and get curious to learn about the ouch underneath the protective move. Vulnerability is the solution to the negative cycle and so much healing lies in these conversations. Withdrawing partners may often feel like they are messing up, a failure or that something is wrong with them. Pursuing partners may try to help by jumping in to reassure but this would be like diving into the shallow end of a pool. Staying in the deep but being there together is where the change happens. Let us know what notes you take from today's show and as always keep it hot y'all!

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