Are you an ASSertive Person In Your Circles?

Authentic Men's Group podcast

ASSERTIVENESS IN THE ESSENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS OF LIFE

In this podcast we discuss the importance of using assertiveness in the essential relationships in our life. We use the paradigm Circle of Relationships.

Circle #1 – The SOURCE Relationship

It is where I discover self.

It is the internal and the eternal.

It is where I find my purpose and passion

Know what we want personally and fulfill that desire.

The only time to let people put you in a box is just before your funeral.

Self-awareness is the key to self-assertiveness

The best contribution to learning to be assertive is to be learning about myself. I can’t teach others how to respect me if I haven’t learned what there is to respect about myself.

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are. Shakti Gawain.

Once we know what we want and we can express that in relationship. If we don’t, staying silent is like a slow growing cancer to the soul.

Circle #2 – The Intimate Partner Relationship

This is where we express the deepest self in the deepest way to another individual. This is the place of emotional and physical intimacy and is where sexual expression is made. It is one relationship that is committed and communicative. It the relationship of deepest authenticity and vulnerability.

If we meet our own needs we can approach the intimate relationship with openness in communication. Communication is ‘seeking to understand before being understood’. When we have met our own needs with assertiveness we can approach the relationship communicating what we desire in a connected and intimate relationship.

Be assertive while being attentive.

Sex is a key focus in this and we can approach it with assertiveness and submission. Good sex is when it is difficult to tell who is enjoying the most, the one who is submitting or the one who is dominant and then reversing those roles to continue the intimate adventure.

Some of the most miserable men I have had in my office are those who have lived by the mantra of ‘a happy wife makes a happy life’

Circle #3 and 4 - Friendships, Family

Circle #3 – The Select Few Relationships

These are relationships of deepest bond and devotion

Here is where I experience vulnerability and validity without sexuality.

They establish earnest trust and are the best frienships of life.

Circle #4 – The Few

These are people I do life with. They are there for support in the celebratory and sad events of life.

These are the people that are going to be there at funerals and weddings.

I can be authentic but often not vulnerable in these relationships

What is good the personal is good for the couple is good for the family.

Conclusion

Practicing assertiveness in all of the Circle of Relationships will be a constant struggle.

Some relationships will require us to be more aggressive, some relationships will require us to be more passive.

We can have confidence in this, we won’t get it right all the time.

If we humbly acknowledge this we can move toward healthy growth in our assertiveness and this can have a beneficial effect on our circle of relationships from the inside out.

For more information on the circle of relationships check out our podcasts below:

Circle 1:

https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/20787b4e/the-1-relationship-source

Circle 2:

https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/1a64511e/the-2-relationship-significant-other

Circle 3:

https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/83f7d9e4/the-3-relationship-best-friends

Circle 4:

https://www.amg.buzz/podcast/episode/855970d9/the-4-relationship-friends-and-family