Updating Our Understanding of Masculinity

On This Walk

How do we begin to unpack and update our traditional understanding of masculinity – for ourselves, our friends, our partners, and our children?

Today I’m walking with Bob Conlin – an ontological coach, a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation, founder of The Alchemy of Men, and the co-founder of the Living In Love Incubator program – and Brad Golphenee – a Senior EVRYMAN Facilitator and Professional Somatic Coach for Men – to dive into a discussion regarding masculinity, forming healthy relationships, connecting with our emotions, and discovering our purpose.

Both fathers and great men who are committed to holding space for the feelings and experiences of those around them, Brad and Bob offer intimate details and valuable insight into how they became the men they are today.

In This Episode

• (0:40) Two threads we’ll follow in today’s episode
• (7:29) Brad reveals how leaving his last business allowed him to break a negative cycle
• (11:08) The effect men’s groups had on Bob’s unhealthy mindset
• (15:39) Why shifting their understanding of identity was challenging
• (23:53) How Bob found peace and new possibilities in the unknown
• (28:14) Finding the courage to ask for help
• (35:32) The importance of finding community and accountability
• (41:00) Addressing the daunting questions: “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?”
• (45:38) Leaning into discomfort as we raise our children
• (54:00) The energy of being a father
• (1:00:14) Bob and Brad discuss purpose
• (1:06:02) Closing thoughts on masculinity

Notable Quotes

• “To have people to hold me in the highest light and to hold me in new ways is so remarkably important because even those that were close to me, and I see this all the time, my family, even out of love, they would often hold me in old ways. Because that’s what they’re comfortable with, that’s how they know me. So going through very transformative processes and then going back into my old environment, I’m still held in an old way. And so it’s just an important distinction that as we change as men, we need each other to hold ourselves in the highest light possible.” – Brad (42:00)

• “When I got to that point, I realized how much help I actually needed. You know, self-sufficient guy, self-proclaimed ‘I don’t need anybody,’ and it really pointed to, wherever I was going, I wasn’t alone. Wherever I wanted to go, I needed an army of people around me to hold me up, lift me up, love me until I could learn to fully love and embrace myself and who I was becoming. And I really think that, that was the hardest lesson I learned was to ask for help… But that was the thing that helped me move through the in-between, the upside down – whatever you want to call it – that time.” – Bob (27:26)

Our Guests

With extensive training and experience as an ontological coach, a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation, founder of The Alchemy of Men, and the co-founder of the Living In Love Incubator program, Bob Conlin helps people bring awareness and accountability into action and receive abundance in its many forms.

Brad Golphenee is a Senior EVRYMAN Facilitator and Professional Somatic Coach for Men who has been involved with men's groups for 15 years and professionally working with men for 10 years. Brad holds a BSBA from the University of Denver and has continuing education in Shamanic Studies and Somatic Experiencing for Trauma. Relationships and parenting are topics that Brad loves to process with his client base.

Resources & Links

On This Walk

• https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
• https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
• https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow

Brad Golphenee

• https://www.bradgolphenee.com/

Bob Conlin

• https://conlincoaching.com/about/