You Had Me at Soup with Macy Matarazzo

Jo & JJ Go Mental

Macy Matarazzo is a Relationship Expert for Single Women, and creator and founder of The SuperLOVED System. Macy talks with us about the essential element of accepting yourself in order to find someone that accepts you too, and shares how one post about loving soup on a dating app changed her life forever. We talk with Macy about dissolving the fear and limiting beliefs about finding love as a career-focused woman, how to stop “winging it” when looking for love, and that it’s okay to not have everything in life topped off with a big red bow.

Takeaway:

[2:16] Macy is a relationship expert and creator of the SuperLoved system. She put off finding love as she climbed the corporate ladder, thinking she didn’t need a man and that it wasn’t possible to have both love and a successful career. She found herself in her 40s alone, convinced that she may just be unlovable and that it wasn’t in the cards for her.

[3:55] Macy decided to put her preconceived notions away and just be vulnerable on a dating app about who she really was and what she did and did not like. Soon enough, Larry came along the rest is history from just one “you had me at soup” comment.

[4:38] When we share who we really are, we find people that are more truly aligned to our essence, instead of people just around because of who we are pretending to be. Macy was sharing aspects of herself that she thought were unattractive and that would repel men away, but really it was her authenticity that brought in the perfect match.

[8:32] What we consider to be our flaws are most often the things people dig about us and find to be endearing quirks. However, in order to not get kicked off the island of love, society brainwashes us that we need to be a certain way.

[11:20] As human beings, we show different elements of ourselves with others. Our friends may get the “real” us, while we often put on a social mask for the outside world and especially when we are trying to attract a partner or in the beginning stages of dating. J.J. talks about the feeling of playing a role at a former job, where the suit and pantyhose she put on felt inauthentic to her true character. When we don’t take a step back and evaluate what we are actually doing, it’s easy to get swept away in the real or perceived expectations of others.

[13:21] J.J. spent last year closed off to the idea of a relationship because she thought it wasn’t possible to have a relationship that didn’t detract from work, but now she is totally open to something new and the possibility that two people could be greater than the sum of their parts. Macy gives an example where two professional singles got together, and their business flourished even more so because they had the energy and support of each other.

[19:15] Every passing moment is a new opportunity to use our imagination to create what we want out of life.

[21:41] We can create new neural pathways and grooves by first observing our patterns and making a conscious choice to change them. A big part of DBT is the one way we usually respond and having the courage to take a different way that produces a new outcome. It can feel hard to go down the new path, but there is also wisdom in realizing it can also be light and easy.

[27:46] To quote the RuPaul Drag Show, “If you don’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else?” For Macy, appreciation is a gateway drug for self-love. It is a work in progress, and some days are easier than others to give yourself total acceptance and internal validation.

[33:27] Shame is a signal that we are outside of our values, and it’s a discipline to act in ways that are aligned with your core values.

[35:01] We must be ourselves what we are asking for others to be in relationships.

[39:23] Macy helps people be resilient in dating and realize that one rejection doesn’t mean they are completely unlovable or doomed for eternal loneliness.

[43:36] We don’t need to put a red bow on every situation, it’s okay to let go of our imagined expectation and fully see what is happening in reality, even if it’s not the way we pictured it.

Connect With Us:

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Macy

Website | LinkedIn

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