#70 | The Rites of Elderhood - Ned Abenroth

The Mythic Masculine

My guest today is Ned Abenroth, a creative entrepreneur and wilderness guide who has spent much of his adult life tending to transformational spaces.

For the last 10 years, he’s worked with Illuman, a global spiritual community that was birthed out of Richard Rohr’s work with male spirituality and rites of passage.

In this episode, we explore the distinction between merely growing older and becoming an elder, as well as the cultural gap that has left many adrift without guidance in traversing this threshold. Ned reflect on his personal experiences with grief and illness, having survived an encounter with cancer that reoriented death as a teacher.

And finally, he shares insights from creating the Illuman Elder Rites of Passage program, and the role of myth in orienting elderhood not a solitary journey, but one rooted in community, relationality, and service to future generations.

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LINKS

* Ned’s Official Website

* Illuman Elder Rites of Passage

SHOW NOTES

* Defining Elderhood: Exploration of the distinction between merely aging and truly becoming an elder, with elderhood seen as a relational and community-rooted journey, not simply a function of age.

* Rites of Passage for Elders: Discussion on the Elder Rites of Passage program, emphasizing the process of transition from adulthood to elderhood through rituals, ceremony, and community support.

* Cultural Gaps in Elderhood: Reflection on the modern cultural gap that has left many adrift without guidance in the transition to elderhood, especially in Western societies that often lack healthy rites of passage.

* Elder as a Verb, Not a Noun: Insight into the idea that eldering is not just an identity, but a function—an ongoing role of service, wisdom, and presence that must be actively embodied.

* Grief and Illness as Teachers: Ned shares personal experiences with grief and surviving cancer, which reoriented his relationship to death and positioned it as a profound teacher.

* Death and Diminishment: The role of death work in elderhood, helping elders embrace physical diminishment as a sacred process, and learning to hallow one's aging body.

* Myth and Elderhood: The importance of myth, particularly the story of Elijah, as a guiding narrative for elders, symbolizing the journey into the unknown, surrender, and transformation.

* Impact of Elders on Community: How the presence of true elders strengthens communities, bringing a sense of wisdom, calm, and relational leadership to younger generations.

* Ritual Spaces and Eldering: How the role of elders in ritual spaces creates a sense of safety and presence, often serving as the ballast during moments of collective vulnerability.

* Elders as Truth Tellers: Elders not only offer comfort and grace but are also responsible for being prophetic voices, unafraid to speak hard truths to their communities.

* The Future Vision for Elders: Ned discusses the broader vision of creating rites of passage and eldering programs across diverse communities to reclaim the essential role of elders in modern society.

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