Mom Life, Hot Wife: Navigating Motherhood and Keeping the Spark Alive with Your Husband

The Motherhood Kit

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Motherhood is a full-time job. Add relationships into the mix, and it can feel like there’s not enough time in the day or energy left to give to the partner that you began this journey with. Whether you’ve been married for 7, 11, or 25 years, it can be a wake-up call (especially as the kids get older and leave) to realize that maybe you don’t know your partner anymore because you haven’t nurtured that relationship. On today’s episode, Yamel chats with Karina Davis on how to keep the flame hot in your partnership in the midst of motherhood.

Karina F. Davis is a relationship coach speaker, host of One Day At A Time podcast, and recovering perfectionist. After achieving her degrees and becoming a professor, she was proud that almost everything was checked off her life list, except her marriage. After doing the work, she pivoted toward helping others resurrect the lost sides of their marriages and relationships through 1 on 1 coaching and public speaking.

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Common Challenges of Balancing Motherhood With Relationships

A lot of it may come down to the perceived societal expectations new mothers have of what motherhood should look like. The pressure’s greater on women to conform to gender norms, but it doesn’t have to be. The more one tries to fit the mother mold, the less you’ll be in alignment with your true self.

How to Stay Connected

Remember that connection takes time and that it won’t happen overnight. It takes practice and isn’t always pretty! Openly agree to make space for vulnerability. Sometimes this may look like being honest about your own capacity for vulnerability at the moment, too. If either person can’t sit and listen without judgment or wanting to fix the situation, be transparent about it. Vulnerability takes shape in many forms, sometimes what’s needed is the fixer, the cheerleader, or the protector. What’s the best way to find out which type is needed at the moment? Ask, and if you’re on the other end, tell.

Intimacy 101, AKA Listening

Intimacy should not be used as a punishment or weapon toward a partner. And it’s not just about having sex. One of the most overlooked aspects of intimacy? Listening. Understand that the way we listen (fixer, cheerleader, protector, etc) is a form of loving. But how does one listen while still empowering their partner? Becoming a better listener allows your partner the opportunity to share their thoughts and process the solutions on their own, and support them from there.

Keeping The Spark Alive

First things first, you need to pour from a full cup, which means tending to yourself first. This way people, especially your partner, aren’t getting the last of you, but rather 100%. From there, a lot of keeping the spark alive is done by getting creative. We do it thoughtlessly in our jobs and schedules, so why not try to align that creativity with your partner in the bedroom? And don’t let being upset with each other ruin the mood – maybe the