Jaymi Block and Shauna Young on Healing Before Dating

The Chicagoan

Shauna Young, a woman of resilience and strength, shares her story of growth, healing, and self-discovery after going through a tough divorce. It’s a journey not just about recovering from a broken relationship but rediscovering who she is and what she truly wants. For many, moving on might mean jumping into the next relationship. But for Shauna, it was clear that true healing comes from within.

Shauna's decision to step back and not rush into dating immediately after her divorce wasn’t easy. "I suggest you do not date right away," she says firmly, acknowledging that many people feel the urge to fill the emotional gap by seeking new partners. Instead, Shauna chose to focus on understanding herself first. "You need to heal. You need to figure out really what you want," she emphasizes. This period of introspection helped her avoid repeating old patterns and attracting the same types of partners she’d left behind.

She speaks candidly about the pressure women feel to couple up quickly after a breakup. Society often expects them to bounce back, but Shauna’s perspective challenges that norm. The strength to stand alone, to allow space for emotional and mental recovery, is what sets her apart. "I was attracting the same man I was married to," she admits, revealing that trying to date before fully healing led her back into similar unhealthy dynamics.

Shauna’s turning point came when she decided to pause, take a step back, and focus on self-improvement. "Everything was just a competition," she reflects, describing how she initially approached dating as a way to prove that she could move on faster than her ex. But the reality is, healing doesn’t happen on a schedule, and Shauna realized that trying to rush it only led to more confusion and pain.

For Shauna, it wasn’t just about getting over someone; it was about finding herself again. When she looked at old photos, it wasn’t just her appearance that seemed different. “It was in my eyes,” she shares, recalling how even her smiles back then masked deep sadness and emptiness. It’s a sentiment many people can relate to — that disconnect between the face they show the world and the truth of what they feel inside.

Shauna found solace in her children and her career, areas of her life she could nurture and grow without the complications of a new relationship. It’s a decision that has paid off in unexpected ways. "I see it with other women," she says. "They’re trying so hard to find that partnership, but they end up losing themselves in the process." Instead, Shauna’s experience reminds us that focusing on one’s own growth can lead to a more fulfilling life — partner or not.

Now, Shauna shares her story with other women, particularly those over 40 who feel pressured to settle down again. Her message is clear: take your time, focus on healing, and don’t let anyone — not even yourself — rush the process. “You can’t force it,” she states, with the wisdom of someone who’s lived through it. When the right partner comes along, it won’t be out of desperation or loneliness but out of a place of wholeness and readiness.

Ultimately, Shauna’s story is about the power of choosing yourself. Whether it’s building a business, being present for your children, or simply learning to love your own company, Shauna proves that fulfillment and happiness come from within. The next relationship, if and when it happens, will be an addition — not a solution.