270: Burnout, Resentment and Boundaries with Cait Donovan

How to Advocate with Heather Hansen

Today’s guest is Cait Donovan. Cait Donovan is a Keynote speaker, one of New York City's leading burnout experts, host of “Fried – The Burnout Podcast,” author of the book "The Bouncebackability Factor", and an acupuncturist with a master's degree in Chinese medicine.

This was a great conversation about burnout, resentment, and boundaries. We discussed:

• Feeling not good enough. 2:00
  • The biggest component of burnout is feelings of not being enough.
• What does burnout mean to you? 4:18
  • Burnout is when the pilot light in the body goes too low and there is not enough energy to sustain normal functioning, rejuvenation, etc.
  • The feeling of not being enough is part of burnout, and being too much is also part of it.
• The difference between burnout and stress. 9:21
  • Stress and burnout are a continuum. Burnout is the far end of chronic unmitigated stress, while stress is healthy and good when it is not chronic.
  • Resentment is the number one tool for keeping yourself out of burnout. It is one of the main tools that she teaches people.
• More on resentment
  • If you pay close attention to resentments objectively, you will notice that each and every zone of your life where your boundaries are being crossed.
• Boundaries make you more generous and more forgiving. 17:00
  • When boundaries are in place, the places that you enjoy being generous are available to you and you can use them.
• What does it mean to honor your calendar? 19:03
  • The importance of honoring appointments and paying yourself back
  • What resentment feels like to Cait
• How to set boundaries when you feel resentment. 20:48
  • When she feels resentful, it is because she is over giving and feeling like she is doing the same thing.
  • When there is a mismatch in a relationship and resentment is building up, ask yourself a few questions to sort through what is really going on.
  • For some of us and even relationships, we bounce before sending a boundary because we are afraid of setting a boundary.
• How to avoid burnout? 26:04
  • Finding the balance between bringing resources in and only releasing the resources that are available.
  • If one does not learn in one area of their life, they can leave whatever relationship or job they want and take it with them to another place.
• What is the first step to identifying your resentments? 28:26
  • Identifying resentments is one of the first steps when people come to work with you, because they are the signposts.

Here’s a link to Cait’s mini-course on resentments!

https://www.caitdonovan.com/store

Resources Mentioned:

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Disclaimer:

The Elegant Warrior Podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not a substitute for the advice of a physician, a lawyer, a professional coach, a therapist or other qualified professionals.