Ep. 9 - Finding Forgiveness

Finding Forgiveness; a Family Fairy Tale

Today, Susan reveals the three personal things she shared with her mother in 2012, and delves deeply into the profound act of forgiveness. She recounts her mother's response upon learning she was forgiven and shares the emotions she underwent, illustrating how those three simple words transformed the dynamics of their relationship. Forgiveness can take various forms; Susan, opting for a face-to-face approach, discusses that it can also occur privately within oneself. Regardless of the method chosen, the outcome remains the same—feelings of lightness emerge, and any lingering fear or resentment dissipates. Don’t miss this uplifting episode of Finding Forgiveness - a Family Fairy Tale.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:00] Susan shares that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

• [2:14] Susan separates from her husband of 25 years, then meets her life partner and begins a massive remodeling project in Maine

• [4:31] Susan visits her mother to discuss three big things happening in her life.

• [6:53] Susan shares the moment she told her mother that she had forgiven her, followed by her mother’s reaction.

• [9:32] Susan reveals that you could tell someone you forgive them in person or do it privately within yourself and how fear can prevent you from saying it in person

• [14:26] Susan and her mother’s relationship is redefined and her mother becomes her accountant

• [18:34] Forgiveness is a tremendous act of courage and healing, and it isn’t about others or what they think about you

• [25:19] Susan encourages the listener to be gentle with yourself and with the other person

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• There are people in life that suck up our energy and don’t contribute to our lives at all. Those are the people you should distance yourself from. The people who pour into your energy are the people you should surround yourself with.

• When you forgive another person, they may or may not feel anything. You cannot control their reaction. It may or may not change their life, but it will change yours. You will feel different, lighter, better.

• When you genuinely accept someone’s forgiveness, it allows you to be your true self.

QUOTES:

“I started looking at my relationships with friends, colleagues, clients, and family and began being intentional about those who took my energy and gave me energy. Many were removed from my universe. I evaluated those daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly tasks and started outsourcing the ones I wasn't good at or balked at. I freed up my mental and emotional space to focus on those things that gave me energy.” - Susan Gibson

“We could look each other in the eye and say, this is happening right now. This is what I'm going to do. And the reply was, this is what I'm going to do, and we could move on from that. Incredibly liberating. Others didn't understand it, and they saw a mother and daughter through the societal norm, but when you start to push that norm, you expose more of the reality of your relationship, the truth of your relationship. It makes others uncomfortable.” - Susan Gibson

“There is a big decision to make when it comes to Finding Forgiveness. Do you want to share that forgiveness with the other person who’s done you harm? Or do you want to keep it to yourself and say within yourself ‘I forgive you’? Either scenario works, either scenario is for the betterment of you and a step towards redefining your relationship with the other person. I felt it was critical that I say this out loud to my mother.” - Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech, starting her career as a developer in the mid-80s to today, where she is CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin, where they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally, to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan is a frequent contributor to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks at public and private events around the world, using her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech.

Susan has many lifelong pursuits - healthy eating, fitness, yoga & meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.