#29: Author Terry Tucker—How to Embrace Suffering and Find Purpose in Life

Exploring Kodawari

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3+ y ago 1:10:51

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In this episode, we speak with author and motivational speaker Terry Tucker. Terry has lived all over the country and worked in many different fields. After playing NCAA Division I basketball in college, he worked in a marketing department and as a hospital administrator. After that, he worked as a police officer, both as a SWAT Hostage Negotiator and an undercover narcotics investigator.

But in 2012, Terry began a very different path when he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Acral Lentiginous Melanoma. To this day he continues his intense battle with cancer—most recently while in the hospital to amputate his leg they discovered tumors in both of his lungs. Unfortunately, his doctors don't really talk about a cure but about buying more time.

But despite the hell that he's been through, Terry has somehow found a way to embrace his suffering to learn from it. Not only does he continue to fight on, he also does so with a remarkably positive and motivating energy. He's one of those people that have learned how to take their suffering and turn it into some deep life wisdom.

And he shares that wisdom on his blog Motivation Check as well as in his newly published book titled Sustainable Excellence: Ten Principles to Leading Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life.

So in this episode, we talk about his life story, his book, and many other topics. We talk about suffering, love, religion, Stoicism, and the other fundamental truths that he lives his life by. We especially got into the topic of resentment—that is how can one avoid becoming resentful towards life, even in the face of extremely unfair suffering.

Stoicism and Life Philosophy:

I was recently reading William Irvine's book about Stoicism (A Guide to the Good Life), and he commented that most people don't really have a philosophy of life but instead live out a kind of enlightened hedonism—distractedly moving from pleasure to pleasure. He stressed how important it is, whether it be Stoicism or something else, that people embrace a philosophy of life to guide them.

This is what I find most inspiring and powerful about Terry's message. His philosophy of life has been tested to the extreme by reality and he still follows it and learns from it. It's one thing to believe in life rules/principles in the abstract, but it's entirely different to truly live them out no matter what.

Overall it was a really inspiring conversation, and we hope everyone can learn something from it!

**Click here to watch the Youtube video for this episode**

Timestamps:

[02:40] Terry's background and his battle with cancer
[08:21] Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" and Terry's motivation for living and bearing his suffering
[12:33] The importance of failing: why you're either going to win or learn
[21:48] Marcus Aurelius, Stoicism, and the importance of going within.
[23:53] Terry's philosophy of "win the day" and the other fundamental truths that he lives his life by
[28:53] The two different ways to address suffering: inner peace/acceptance mentality vs. the Navy Seal/warrior mentality
[35:24] The growing resentment in today's society and how Terry, despite his suffering, avoids resentment
[39:46] Is religion or a belief in a higher power necessary in order to battle the suffering in life?
[49:59] Why is love the most important word in any language?
[56:41] The importance of having your life philosophy tested by reality
[01:03:23] Bonus Questions

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