John MacDonald: Ending violence - a challenge for all of us

Canterbury Mornings with John MacDonald

If you think the violence action plan announced by the Government yesterday has no relevance to your life - think again.

It’s one of many plans that are part of this overall 25-year strategy to eliminate family violence and sexual violence. The big strategy was launched in 2021, which means it’s got about 22 years to run.

It’s got a big price tag too, the long-term strategy that is. $1.3 billion. And, as part of this latest action plan, the Government’s going to review how the money is being spent to make sure it’s focused and streamlined to make sure that every dollar being spent is making a difference.

As for the goal of eliminating family violence and sexual violence by 2046, I think the harsh reality is that we’ll never eliminate it. But I’m not saying that we shouldn’t bother trying.

I’m sure that if we spoke to someone involved in trying to end violence, they would say that the 25-year strategy is “aspirational”. They’d tell us that it’s something to aim for - which is better than the alternative. Which is doing nothing.

And I’d agree with that. The question, though, is what you do to try and get somewhere towards eliminating violence.

Which is why I said before, if you think the violence action plan announced by the Government yesterday has no relevance to your life - or nothing to do with you - then you need to think again.

The obvious thing you can take from that is that we are all potential victims but also instigators of violence.

You’ll know as well as I do that it’s not just people in certain parts of town who are at risk. Violence is everywhere. There’s violence in houses with kids' bikes and toys outside. There’s violence in houses where the cops turn up every now and then to have a word. But there’s also violence in houses with beautiful hedging and front gates that only open when someone presses a button.

Physical violence, sexual violence, verbal violence, psychological violence.

And if it isn’t you who has experienced some or all of those things. There’s a pretty good chance that someone you know has.

It might be a friend, a relative, or that really friendly neighbour down the street who always seems to be smiling.

That friend, relative, or really friendly neighbour down the street who always seems to be smiling could also be the one being violent behind those closed doors.

Which is why this plan announced yesterday - and the bigger picture strategy that it's part of - will only achieve something if we do our bit.

And when it comes down to it, doing our bit is pretty easy. It isn’t necessarily comfortable or pleasant or convenient. Because, doing our bit to reduce all kinds of violence, requires us to give a damn.

It requires us to listen out for those raised voices across the fence. It requires us to do more than just shrug our shoulders and say “oh they’re at it again”.

It requires us to run the risk of losing friendships or straining family relationships. Because if someone is picked up for acting violently or aggressively, I bet it must be damn embarrassing.

Not to mention the fact that it can be very easy sometimes to convince ourselves that doing something or intervening will only make things worse for the person suffering the violent abuse.

You know: “If I go over there now or if I ring the cops, he’ll just get more fired and up and then she’ll really wear it.”

Or: “If I go over there now or if I ring the cops, there’ll be a rock through our window tonight.”

See what I mean? But I genuinely believe that, if this stuff the Government’s going to do has any chance of succeeding, then we need to stop being a nation of scaredy cats.

And I’m including myself there. Because there have probably been countless times where I’ve turned a blind eye or considered myself too busy - or any of the millions of excuses we can be very good at coming up with to avoid “getting involved”.

“That yelling next door’s been going on for quite some time now - maybe I should poke my head in. But if I don’t get to the supermarket, there’ll be nothing for the lunches.”

Driving home late at night. “That young woman back there looked pretty drunk - she probably shouldn’t be out on her own like that. Maybe I should go back and check on her. But I’ve got an early start. Need to get some sleep.”

Time and time and time again we come up with excuses not to do anything. And that is what needs to change.

For me, that is the one big thing we could all do to really make a difference and to give this 25-year plan to eliminate family violence and sexual violence by 2046 some chance of success.

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