Season 1, Episode 72: The Gratuitous Ghost of Gilbert Gottfried Returns

The Hate Napkin

EPISODE 72 SYNOPSIS

The Gratuitous Ghost of Gilbert Gottfried Returns

Folks, it’s a “smoke a cigarette afterwards” cool-as-a-cucumber kind of episode.

Co-host Arik opens the show with something nice to say about his current state of residence, South Carolina: “Well, at least it’s not the Pacific Garbage Patch.”

Then again, he could be stuck in Burnt Korn, Alabama, with our special guest, Carla. Things in Alabama are so bad, all the color has been sucked out. (Check it out on YouTube!)

Usually sound engineer Seaman Drains—I mean, Pauly from Bali—gets the hate sloppy seconds, but he kicks off the show with a tale of his recent trip to Florida to visit his ill father. The family decided to have a movie night—EXCEPT no one considered the fact that ailing pops might not be in the mood, with all his children and grandchildren gathered about, to watch a graphic sex scene.

“Haven’t we reached the point, where if you need to watch two or more people getting it on, just go surf some porn? It’s time to eliminate ‘squeal like a pig’ ass spanking from Hollywood. I mean, this scene was in a period piece!”

Not that we’re prudes, but what’s the NC-17 rating for, if not for a period piece film that shows an anal rape scene over and over from every character’s point of view?

Meanwhile, Arik discusses the difference between bestiaries and bestiality, while Pauly spends a half hour downloading a photo Carla wants to share. Boy oh boy, this is one photo worth the wait:

“DO NOT CLICK BUTTONS WITH GENITALIA.”

Tune in to find out more! (Cameras are watching.)

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