S2E23 - Solving Hygiene Battles with Choices

Play Therapy Parenting

In this episode, I address a common parenting challenge: children's resistance to hygiene practices. I respond to a question from Rosemary in Florida, who's struggling with her 10-year-old daughter's refusal to use soap while showering and to wipe and flush after using the bathroom.

I explain that this behavior is fundamentally a power and control issue. Children have control over very few things in their lives, and hygiene routines are one area where they can exert independence. To address this, I introduce the concept of choice giving as a powerful parenting tool. I walk through how to set clear expectations and use ultimate choice giving to return some power to the child while maintaining parental authority.

I emphasize the importance of identifying a child's "currency" - what motivates them - and incorporating it into the choices presented. Whether it's privacy in the bathroom or access to favorite activities, these choices give children ownership of their decisions and natural consequences. I also stress the need for consistency and starting fresh each day, allowing children to learn from their choices without carrying over punishments.

Ask Me Questions: Call [phone], or email: [e-mail] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.