The Vikings are at the Doorbell

Journos

Say what you will about the Vikings, but one thing’s for certain: They had a strong brand. So strong, in fact, that it’s easy to draw a pretty clear through line between their insatiable appetite for conquest and the relentless march of tech companies into our personal and private lives.

The only difference? Nobody back then would ever agree to a Viking's Terms of Service (ToS).

But before we get there, what’s up with Japan’s National Tax Agency, and why are they trying to get us drunk? And why is Coca-Cola hoping to tap into the collective dreamspace of Gen Z? The answer to both can be found in murky boardrooms on either side of the planet, in which bottom-lines are mandates from the gods, and are to be met at all costs.

It’s in boardrooms like these where we encounter modern-day Vikings, plotting and charting new voyages into the final frontiers of our minds, and even the inside (and outside) of our homes. Let’s face it — the folks at Amazon have what can only be described as Big Viking Energy™. It’s an aura readily apparent in the acquisition of two companies, iRobot (who got its start making machines for the military) and Ring (who isn’t afraid to talk to cops).

The purchase of these reflects the once-plucky online bookseller’s apparent endgame of surveilling our entire private existence. While the Roombas are busy mapping our homes and reporting back to the Cloud, the Ring video doorbells will stand sentry at our doorsteps, and perhaps catch an act of civil disobedience from time to time. Valhalla!

Of course, not everyone’s buying it just yet. But don’t worry, there’s a plan for that. And you’ll have to listen to the episode to find out what it is…

Fine. Here’s a hint: It’s a dystopian contest. (No, not that kind.)

Anyhow, grab your weird horned helmet and start rowing. It’s Viking-time people, and you might as well blend in.