Episode 576: Lawyers, the Worst People on the Planet

Idiots On Parade, the Too Ugly for TV Podcast

This week, the Idiots are joined by Gerry Grothues.

00:00 Introductions

00:48 Viewer Comment

05:09 Harrison Butker 2.0

12:49 Lawyers

19:50 Science!

25:00 Britney, Freed

31:16 Israel/Palestine

—We forgot to get to this week, but a viewer wanted to know our thoughts on January 6 when compared to BLM riots and ANTIFA nonsense. He didn’t ask about the idiot students protesting the Israel/Palestine conflict, but we threw it in for fun anyway.

—Harrison Butker is doubling down on the dumb, sexist and homophobic comments he made while giving a commencement speech, and our response is…

“Yeah, what did you think he was going to do?”

There seems to be an idea the internet outrage machine has that if they pout and throw big enough fits, people will have realizations.

Nope!

Butker was raised to be a backwards-thinking religious nutbag. That doesn’t get changed by yelling at him.

The best way to put it is via a meme I saw: “You think CTE is bad? Try having a bible slammed into your head from birth.”

Yup.

—Lawyers are the worst, we can all agree on that. But did anyone think one would stoop so low as to argue, in a court filing, that a nine-year-old girl, who was subject to a disgusting peeping tom pervert of an American Airlines employee/flight-attendant/male-stewardess, was at fault for not realizing there was a hidden camera in the airplane toilet?

I mean, that’s a far throw for even a scumbag lawyer.

But, that’s what’s being argued.

A nine-year-old girl found a hidden camera in a public restroom, her family is suing (not that they have a right to), and the lawyers are saying, “Well, she should have known there’d be a camera in there, taking pictures of her.”

It’s times like that that make me wish I believed in hell, because those lawyers (and anyone at the airline and insurance company who signed off on it) should absolutely spend eternity there.

—Men have microplastics in their testicles.

I’ll repeat that.

Men have microplastics (and nanoplastics, apparently) in their testicles.

How do we know this?

Well, scientists have been cutting open the testes of cadavers and looking.

And they’ve been comparing the plastic in human testes with the plastic in dog testes.

WHO FIRST THOUGHT TO DO THIS?

What scientist was sitting around, and went, “Hey, you know what we should do…”

Well, I suppose it was either that, or becoming a serial killer. So… thanks for choosing science. Weirdo.

—Remember the “Free Britney!” movement? Well, she’s free, and… She is not well. Dancing with knives, divorcing, again, and apparently chasing her ex with an axe.

Should she have remained under a conservatorship?

Probably.

But, she’s an adult, albeit an incredibly stupid one, and she can act how she wants.

The rest of us can just grab our popcorn and watch.

—What? This conflict is still going on? But stupid university kids with no life experience or historical awareness protested! I thought that was supposed to change everything!

In today’s round of “Oh just fucking nuke one another and be done with it:” Ireland, Norway, and Spain have all agreed to recognized a Palestinian State.

As stated in the video, this is a complex issue.
The Palestinians were offered statehood in the past, but turned it down. Should we celebrate the idea they’ve been beaten into submission to the point they’re willing to finally accept it? Or, is giving it now, given the actions of October 7, 2023, rewarding shit behavior?

Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.

Tune in and get your giggle on.

Find Jake at @jakevevera

Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

#britneyspears #lawyers #news #currentevents #politics #humor