Matt Detjen

Fire at Will

Helpful links

1. Read Matt Detjen's book
2. Learn more about Matt Detjen
3. Learn more about Will Stewart

Timestamps

00:00 - Matt's superpower
01:18 – How introverts hold valuable insights
03:27 – Avoiding “The Fish” in sales conversations
05:25 – Traits of the best salespeople
07:20 – “Don’t spill your candy in the lobby”
09:39 – Practicing reflective listening with kids
10:27 – The power of belief in your product
12:01 – Matt's Mentor
14:04 – The books that Matt recommends
15:45 – Writing a book: Lessons from four years of creating
22:23– Embracing the editing process
26:14 – Using book chapters as content nuggets

My thoughts

After sitting down with Matt Detjen, I've come away with some powerful insights into sales and, honestly, into what it means to make an impact in today’s business world. He has flipped the traditional, outdated model of sales on its head. If you think you need to be aggressive, sleazy, or the loudest voice in the room to close a deal, he's here to tell you that you couldn’t be more wrong. The days of Wolf of Wall Street antics are over. These days, people can sense insincerity a mile away, and no one has time for it. Instead, success in sales—and in most things—comes from being genuine, thoughtful, and having a real purpose behind your actions.

1. Sales Without the Sleaze

What strikes me most about Matt’s approach is that it’s deeply rooted in respect for others. It’s a refreshing departure from the idea that you must manipulate or overpower people to get results. There’s this sense in his philosophy that being ethical and considerate is not just a sales trick but essential. His methods prove you can be a top-notch salesperson without sacrificing integrity or leaving people with that cringeworthy “I need a shower” feeling after a sales pitch. And this is what sets him apart. He believes that relationships should be the priority instead of focusing on pushing products or services onto people. In other words, it's all about the long game. Make a real connection first, and the business will follow.

2. The Power of Genuine Connections

Matt’s approach isn't just about making a sale—it’s about genuinely understanding people, meeting their needs, and providing real value. He says the goal should always be to give before you get. This means making it your mission to help people, whether they buy from you or not. When you approach interactions with this mindset, you’re no longer just a salesperson; you’re someone people trust and want to work with. It’s a lesson that extends beyond sales, honestly. Whether you’re networking, building a team, or even just trying to be a good friend, focusing on what others need first is the best way to create a foundation of trust. And in business, as in life, that foundation of trust is everything.

3. Memorable One-Liners: “The Fish” and “Don’t Spill Your Candy in the Lobby”

I have to give it to Matt—he’s the king of one-liners that stick with you. He has this way of breaking down complex ideas into phrases you won’t forget, like “The Fish” and “Don’t spill your candy in the lobby.” “The Fish” is a reminder that small talk is fine, but it’s not the substance of rapport. Real connection is built on purpose and value, not just shared hobbies or mutual interests. And “Don’t spill your candy in the lobby” speaks to holding back, not oversharing everything upfront. It’s a reminder that true connection is about listening, not just pitching. These one-liners are incredibly effective tools that you can apply in any conversation, not just in sales, and they’ve already changed how I think about my own interactions.

4. On a Personal Note: Why I’m a Fan

Matt and I have become good friends through this process, and I genuinely believe in his work and approach. His book is packed with valuable lessons that anyone in sales—or anyone who simply wants to communicate more effectively—can benefit from. If you want to improve your sales game and become a better listener, I can’t recommend it enough. It’s one of those rare books that doesn’t just give you tips; it gives you a roadmap to becoming a better, more empathetic person.

At the end of the day, what I’ve learned from him is that great salespeople aren’t born; they’re made. And they’re made through a commitment to authenticity, connection, and respect for others. Here’s to redefining what being a “good” salesperson means. It’s not about what you can get but what you can give.

Filmed and recorded at the 9/8 Central Studio in Greenville, SC. Learn more about our video podcast studio.