Writing About Fetishes: Ignore

Diane Callaway

When I first started learning about different fetishes, there was one that I rank in the harmless fetishes; that confused me. The reason for the confusion was partly because I was still learning about sexuality quirks and how they began in each person. The ignore fetish is self-explanatory. I have not seen it in women, but I am more exposed to the men's side of sexual fixations than the women. The fetish is at its basic since composed of knowing that someone is aware they could give you attention, but they choose to ignore you completely. Like all fetishes, there are different degrees of this, and each one is unique to the person involved. Some people enjoy a small amount of interaction. I know you're there, but you are not worthy of my time. Others seem to want a more extreme where no attention granted to them in any way they are not looked at; they are not acknowledged they do not exist in that world. Some people enjoy the humiliation element of it. The only time of acknowledgment is either through sarcastic discussion or being addressed through humiliation. Some people enjoy acknowledgment in more of a reward system. An example of this would be I say nothing to you until you do something of value for me, and then I give you a small reward or praise. The type of people that enjoy this form does not want to be humiliated but rewarded. Humiliation for them is excruciating; they are seeking out making another person happy enough to give them a small amount of attention. From my limited experience with this, it seems to go back to pre-adolescence but maybe not far back as childhood. The ones that are the most fascinating for me are the ones that enjoy humiliation. Almost all humiliation fetishes seem to stem from interactions and relationships of preadolescents to pre-adult. Someone that is looking for communication of a humiliation level that involves being ignored; desires typically that interaction be extreme. The humiliation they desire is verbal, not to say that there are not individuals who enjoy physical humiliation as well. The reason that I state that ignore is a harmless fetish is that the victim not permanently harmed physically. The mental aspect of this fetish is something that they have dealt with for many years, and the sexual interaction is a tool they use to cope with long-term pain. I do recognize that the ignore fetish involves situations that were intense and often extreme for these individuals. Part of my issue with how Hollywood has betrayed certain types of fetishes and utilize them for cheap laughs is that they do not acknowledge the pain. Fetishes, in many ways, are a coping mechanism, almost a tick. That does not make them wrong, nor does it make them good; it just describes what they are. For people who do not interact with fetishes, it can be hard to empathize with the driving nature behind them, when people are not empathetic that they can be cruel in a way that is unhealthy for someone. Whether that is asking a person what is wrong with them or in a sarcastic way of telling a person, they should not be doing a particular fetish. Throughout the years, my interaction of fetishes and those that have them, the one thing that I find troubling is the lack of the ability to talk to those closest to them. A husband who does not feel safe in marriage to express his wants and desires to his spouse or expose his inner pain from past events will often reach out to a perceived, safer environment. When we are in a close relationship with someone, it seems common for a significant other to utilize our weakest points during an argument. This action could cause substantial harm to someone who has an ignore fetish. They enjoy the sensual or sexual side of the fetish; no one wants to be intentionally harmed by another. There is a vast chasm of difference between a play scenario and a real-life situation. I am not a medical doctor, and therefore I don't want medical terms for the danger of misusing them. H --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/diane-callaway/support