2: Do not let childhood trauma ruin your life and Live out loud.
Manage episode 281357687 series 2848340
Transcript for Ep2:
Welcome to Be True, Be Happy, Be Yourself show, I'm Yuki Miyaki. In this episode, I will be sharing with you about my childhood.
Childhood! What does this word mean to you? I believe most of you will be reminded of joyful moments with family or friends. However, there are some people who have some adverse childhood experiences. Even after they grow up, they will still remember each and every detail of that incident. Moreover, it may subconsciously affect their beliefs and perspectives, leading to the outcomes in their choices.
Do you still remember some pain or very sad memories you might have suffered in your childhood? Before I start, you can try to recall one of the memories that might have left you a scar or you are afraid to look back at. If you can't recall it, it doesn't matter as you can slowly try to recall.
If you feel trapped in life, start to discover what happened in your childhood, it might be the cause for it.
It was also in recent years that I suddenly realized that in my childhood, there was an incident that I did not want to remember or face with it.When I was young, our family lived in a mansion together with my grandmother, uncles and aunts. I remember that we moved out of our grandmother’s house and stayed by ourselves. That year, I was about 12 years old.
My family was not wealthy, we were just an ordinary family. My parents work in the construction industry during the day and had to do direct sales at night. They tend to be back home late at night. As the eldest daughter, I often need to take care of my younger siblings who are 3 and 4 years old. I remember that night, my siblings and I were asleep.
At midnight, I felt a pair of hands touch my chest. Although I wasn’t fully awake, my instinct told me that I have been assaulted! When I woke up and yelled in shock, the person who molested me fled immediately. After this, I didn't tell anyone, including my parents. I even buried this memory deep in my mind. I almost forget about it too.
It was not until I took a spiritual course in recent years that I was reminded of this traumatic incident. I was surprised to find out the reason why my personality changed after the incident.
From first grade to the sixth grade, my grades and performance were excellent, and I was an exemplary student of the school. However, after being assaulted by the stranger, I may have subconsciously thought that I am no longer perfect, I am no longer excellent. So I unconsciously punished myself, I began to live in guilt, not letting myself live well. My grades and performance began to worsen. When I was in my rebellious stage, I even began to look at the other races around me with a colored eye. I started to become racist. As the incident happened, I was really insecure, and I did not dare to go out shopping or eating alone.
Things happen to let us see our inner fear. Back then, because I was too young, I had no way to think about how to solve that incident. In the world that I knew at that time, this was not a glorious thing, in fact quite a humiliating thing for girls. So I chose to suppress and forget. However, I didn’t expect this to make me feel so insecure even after I came out to work. I wanted to punish myself as I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t let myself live well as I felt I was not perfect anymore. I subconsciously think I am no longer worthy to be treated nicely. After several years of continuous physical and mental healing, I went from anger and insecure to self-punishment, then gradually turned into gratitude and forgiveness. I started to embrace that completely pure self again, and bravely embraced the beauty of life.
It may not be easy to overcome the trauma, but we can forgive and allow it to flow away from our life. We do not have to live the rest of life with childhood traumatic memories. By doing so, we are giving up to embrace the beauty and infinite possibilities of life. Therefore, if you also have childhood traumatic memories, here are few tips for you :
1. Attend a spiritual healing course, or find a suitable tutor to assist you. We must admit that we need some guidance and help.
2. To wake the past self. Always remember that the past traumatic memory does not define the present you. You are beautiful and deserve a better life.
3. Be thankful for the incident that occurred. It also allows you to see the original complete pure self, so that you have the courage to accept the imperfections of your past and embrace the infinite beauty of the present and the future.
To be honest, I am really grateful for this incident. It allows me to see my infinite possibilities, such as independence, trust, acceptance... and so on. Of course, this also allowed me to make sure I took care of my children's safety when they are young. I always made sure I fulfilled my responsibilities as a mother before I venture into my career. Regardless of whether you have had any unpleasant memories in your childhood, learn to be grateful, as these incidents made us who we are today. They definitely made us stronger, braver and better. Learn to see your perfect self in your imperfections.
Do not let childhood trauma ruin your life and Live out loud.
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I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you more stories about my life and how you can Be True, Be Happy and Be Yourself !
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