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Enneagram and Marriage

Christa Hardin, MA

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The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.
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show series
 
The term mental load is a hot-button issue right now in relationships, and for good reason. Many individuals, often women, but sometimes men too, find themselves in a never-ending but invisible stage-manager-like role for the family. They are behind-the-scenes, organizing everything and everyone and burnout hits hard. Tune in to this E + M mini epi…
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Many times we want to work everything out relationally with our partner, but often the work must start within by finding your beliefs, emotions, and story. Today we have the rich expertise of husband, father, photographer, and marriage and family therapist Blake Roberts, MMFT, Enneagram 9 to help us through to trauma to regulation. Join us for an i…
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When you're feeling misaligned as a couple, relationship desire is lower and you feel so misunderstood. Today not only do you get to walk through the various ways couples can become misaligned, but most importantly Christa guides you back to alignment together right here! You'll find out ways every type comes to find themselves misaligned as well a…
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Authenticity is deeply important for a thriving marriage, yet authenticity without intentional growth can bring out the very worst of humanity. Listen to this foundational E + M episode to learn several ways to thrive in authenticity and as a result, bring your marriage to new levels of acceptance, love, and grace, even if you've had an avoidant or…
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In our series, we’ve been connecting on how desire is built, but in this deeper dive episode, we talk about what prevents desire and how it is lost and recovered. We talk about the shadows we carry that carry us farther apart from another and how to return home to desire for one another as well. Visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for more tools and…
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Although it's true that often the partners in a relationship have differing desires, it's also true that we must find ways back to harmony after conflict. Today we get to talk to Enneagram expert Kristi Rowles (Enneagram University), cp6, about how to work through conflict with scaling, balancing of instincts, and so much more. We also learn more a…
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Growing up in spaces of faith, many if not most of us have inadvertently picked up on several toxic fallacies as we consider both how to espouse a mature Christian faith and yet also strive for a thriving sex life together in marriage. Many of those beliefs have even been taught from the pulpit, even the ones stirring us to become sexual objects. Y…
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We don't always know what to do when storms hit us, whether bad weather hits us internally or externally (such as the current hurricane season), but here on today's mini pod, Christa gives everyone the much-needed reminder of doing what we can do (and even should do) when choices are otherwise limited. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ix3o_O_CAcc…
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Even if you're lined up with meaningful work you enjoy, if you're burning the wick at both ends in any way, your central nervous system doesn't know how to respond and your body may be experiencing trauma. If you're feeling weary on the journey of life or faith at all, make sure you take a deep breath with us and shift back into health as we invite…
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In your marriages, sometimes you may feel like the only purpose you have is just to get by. Today’s episode offers tips for each and every type to not just survive, but to thrive with self-care, connection, but also specific purpose so they can live out their beautiful God-given dreams together and individually as well. Tune in here for just the mi…
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Often you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong in your marriage but you know you’re floating in opposite directions, drifting apart, and headed into a danger zone. This episode with marriage and leadership coach Lance Howard, Enneagram 9 (9-6 pairing) is full of great insights and tips so you can find more about your God-given gifts and goal…
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Conversations around furniture are frequent in couple's sessions. Where couples sleep, how they sit, where they eat - all of this carries meaning to every couple. In other words, the setting for the stories we tell matters. How does the way you set up your home matter to your marriage? There are many intimacies lost and found in the way we organize…
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Today's must-listen podcast episode is a vital piece of the sex talk you never got - a conversation about sexual issues as they show up in almost every marriage as a result of shame and contempt born of most men's first encounters with sex because of the earliest introductions to sex via pornography and other counterfeit distortions with marriage t…
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In our quest to ensure our needs are met, it’s very common to start the work by getting self-care and then getting irritated with our spouse when they don’t know exactly how to meet our needs. Today’s mini-podcast helps you to get unstuck when you’re in process and trying to move through conflict in healthy ways and then find a disconnection ensues…
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Trauma is so psychologically destructive largely because our brain is not able to create a coherent and empowering narrative out of what happened without support. Today on the podcast, writing teacher and coach Mara Eller, MA, Type 4 (4-7 pairing), gives us that support as she shows us how at the right time and with the right support, we can relive…
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Today in this E + M special, we take the justice-fighting lens together as a community to bring awareness to the issue of sex trafficking and sexual exploitation in relationships and around the world. We have a leading world expert with us to talk about it today, Exodus Cry founder, filmmaker, and artist, Benjamin Nolot (Enneagram 4), who shares th…
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Culturally, it's very hard for busy, overwhelmed individuals to take time to sit with and process emotions. Yet today's podcast guest, renowned trauma and StoryWork therapist Adam Young, (The Place We Find Ourselves podcast) Enneagram 8 (8-9 pairing), encourages us to do exactly that - sit in the hard and allow yourself time and attention to what's…
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Every couple desperately needs to know how to repair, yet few know the steps for doing so. Finding one another after a conflict is hard, since couples typically either self-protect by imploding while still hurt or by lashing out. Today Christa educates you on one-to-one tactics you can use to bring life back into the relationship. In today's E + M …
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It's one thing to be vulnerable by choice and quite another to find yourself unwittingly so. Today, we discuss the healthiest ways to share our human vulnerabilities with expert Raleigh Sadler, Enneagram Type 6 (The MercyCast ) in a rich conversation on what vulnerability is and how hard it is to be vulnerable in relationships, especially when we'v…
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When spouses don't align on their deepest core values, it's hard to get along and yet many spouses find it hard to articulate what those core values even are for them. Today Christa walked you through a few simple exercises to get in touch with the values inside of you so you can live most authentically as yourself, and also learn to appreciate tho…
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When heartbreak happens, you're not alone. Yet often our first human instincts involve shutting down fast and then isolating ourselves, spilling grief into unhealthy corners such as overworking, overly seeking commendation, or just disconnecting from God and others in our lament. Today we talk with author and poet Tanner Olson, Type 3 (3-5 pairing)…
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Each of us has emotional parts of ourselves that are difficult to access - we are busy and survival does not allow for constant and deep self-attunement. Today, in this powerful E + M mini-episode, Christa welcomes you to find your healthiest rhythms with yourself as we walk through several simple self-attunement exercises as you welcome a new seas…
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Eighty percent of adults say they want to write a book, but getting started can be intimidating. How does one even go about starting? How do you get an agent, and what are the first steps? Can you get help in the process? Today in this fascinating episode of the E + M pod, we're answering all these questions and so many more about the steps to maki…
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It’s hard to be brave to step into our calling sometimes, especially if there's fear that God won’t show up for us. When we have heroes in real life or from our ancient narratives alike, we can be assured that we have a heritage of faith, tenacity, and even wins of epic proportions. Today we are joined by exemplary scholar, Dr. Sandra Richter, PhD,…
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After the honeymoon years, it's easy to miss one another and see one another as enemies in relationship versus fighting for one another's dreams and aligning together. Lauren Handel Zander, Enneagram 8w7, helps you see things differently and then to find the life you're intentionally seeking together. Lauren, the developer of the highly esteemed Ha…
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Couples work involves not just the external families each partner comes from, but also the internal systems each brings to the relationship. IFS (Internal Family Systems) research reminds us that couples can grow these internal systems with self-awareness and compassion individually and together. Today Christa offers the E + M audience a few basic …
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It’s important that as we live out our day-to-day life that we also make sure these daily rituals we are taking part in are also truly bringing our deepest core gifts and values to light. When we are deeply intentional with rooting ourselves in our core values and then shaping our marriage relationship and social giving around that, we find the dee…
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Many would argue that the Enneagram is an extremely helpful tool to help us organize and sort out our struggles in nuanced ways so we may more accurately heal and connect with mental health treatments that work. Yet is it a scientifically validated tool? Is it historically sound against naysayers? Perhaps most importantly, do the insights help peop…
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As the Paris Olympics gets off the ground this summer, we've got a few fun recommendations for you as well as some personal growth tips for finding the shining virtues for you and your relationships as well. Join Christa (and early guest Melody Hardin) for a discussion on what to be on the lookout for this Olympic season as well as what YOU can do …
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Marriage issues in the bedroom can be downright confusing and complex across varying couple dynamics and seasons of marriage, especially when unhealthy message is unintentionally filtered in from trauma in any capacity. In this short, sweet, and yet deep-diving episode, Christa walks you through the highlights of The Hidden Chapter of The Enneagram…
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Do you feel a lack of direction or margin in your life or relationship? That once you do get a few minutes to yourself, you’re overwhelmed and bogged down versus experiencing the refreshment, joy, and abundant life you know you're wired for? Today on the E + M podcast, you'll find the margin and clarity you need to thrive as we're joined by marketp…
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Ones and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a One, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourself i…
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When a couple finds themselves aligned in values and begins to take care of themselves, often they're in the position to fulfill dreams and callings in a gorgeous new way. Today we get to talk to Raeanne Newquist who, along with her husband, left a predictable and safe life for a glorious adventure on Mercy Ships, where she and her family got to he…
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Twos and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a Two, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourself i…
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Healthy parenting involves not only the journey of helping to love our kids but also understanding ourselves and the ways we handle stress. This often involves doing some healing around our own developmental stories. When we learn to self-regulate well, we bring a non-anxious connected presence of attunement with our kids so they thrive and we thri…
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Threes and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a Three, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourse…
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Making negotiations in marriage is essential yet how we come to these is quite the task to undertake without good tools and training. Today we learn from an expert at negotiating in marriage, Dr. Wyatt Fisher (type 3/5) who has so many great tips for us today! Join in as we walk through them together strategically right here and use the tips today …
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Fours and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a Four, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourself…
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Today, we get to chat with Chris and Jenny Graebe (7w8 and 1w9 pairing) about how they slow down to create healthy rhythms for their marriage and for a healthy, intentional life of love and faith with their five kids. They also share from both their first book together, 📖 The Rhythm of Us, and their brand new book, The Rhythm of Home as well. They …
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Fives and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a Five, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourself…
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Do you feel like you have a lot of work goals but can't seem to accomplish anything in the allotted time your day actually gives you? Do you feel frenetic because you're trying to do a good job at work but then your family life, not to mention your marriage or life with God, is majorly lacking? There are so many shifts we can make as humans, and ea…
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Sixes and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a Six, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourself …
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As Tolkien once said, "Not all who wander are lost," and you will be even less relationally lost as you wander into learning with E + M about the ins and outs of traveling with your spouse and/or family and friends! Take some time today to invest in the tips in this episode from travel expert and geographer Angela Gilmeister, Type 1 (Wild Hair Trav…
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Seven and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a Seven, learn how to become the healthiest version of yoursel…
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When infidelity wounds a couple, in the wise words of our guest today, Dr. Harrison Scott Key, Ph.D, best-selling author and the winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor, there's a marriage murder mystery to be solved: Who killed this marriage, is it really dead, and can it come back to life? Join us for a riveting and deep-diving episode wit…
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Eight and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're an Eight, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourse…
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What a necessity it is to have great tools to process our conflict and trauma together in marriage, parenting, and relationships, and yet often in the moments of great felt threat or pain, our very bodies rise up in protective styles, even possibly blocking us from doing this work. Today we get to talk about bodywork or somatics and to learn some h…
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It feels so good to be known and seen for who we are, as well as to have clarified spaces from which to grow. To this end, today’s special shorter episode is a walk-through of the Enneagram type Nine and who they are, as well as who they can become as they walk toward health. If you're a Nine, learn how to become the healthiest version of yourself …
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May is mental health month, a time dedicated to bringing awareness to those struggling or wondering what may be going on with them on days when you feel less healthy. On today’s podcast, we are statistically shedding some light on which mental health struggles each type has significantly reported, including depression, anxiety, ADD, neurodivergence…
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So many times we relate with characters in a song or media outlet and we don’t get to process them further. Today you have a chance to do this with Christa and guest Dana Lawson, Enneagram 9 (9-4 pairing) as they walk through This is Us with you! Join Christa and Dana with a cup of coffee or tea for a meaningful chat as we discuss the Pearson famil…
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