Episode 45 : Creating Your Work-Life Balancing Act (SISTEM)

Her Career Ladder

Hello, everybody, I am so glad you could join us tonight. This is Michele Heyward Women's History Month back with system. So if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're in for a fantabulous opportunity to meet Monique who's one of the founding members of system, which is si, si, T m is women of color in the water industry. So if you don't know what I'm talking about, um, you have drinking water, you have flushing water, you want to know which one to do and where, who Monique as part of women, engineers and professionals in the industry, that make sure we get the drinking water we need. During the month of March, Women's History Month, I've partnered with system and they are bringing on different fabulous women of color who are doing fabulous things, outstanding things, and really not getting the spotlight into recognition they should in the water industry. So we have the opportunity to partner together and really show it introduced to each of you what is going on. So I'm going to turn it over to Monique and she's going to and I'm going to bring up our special guests and I will see y'all in about I don't know when it's done. When they say I can come back. I'm gonna come back. So, Monique, over to you.
Thank you, Michelle. Hi, everyone. I'm Monique. Epi Tropo formerly Phillips. I am a water resources engineer and project manager currently on like an extended maternity leave about to start a new job at Jacobs, which I'm really excited about. And I want I'm thrilled to introduce you all to Ashley Matthews, who I've been able to work with for at least like the last four or five years. I think she's an engineering supervisor at the Philadelphia water department. So welcome Ashley, is there anything you want to introduce about yourself before we dive into our interview? Sure,
um, like Monique said, I'm an engineering supervisor with the Philadelphia water department. I am in the design support group. We do various work at the programmatic level of our group specifically focused on GSI, combating CSOs in the Philadelphia area, so I'll keep it brief.
Just like for the audience, what are those acronyms? Oh,
CSOs. Me, Philadelphia water department and CSOs is combined stormwater over, there's a question. I combined stormwater overflow, essentially, when we have large storm events. We have overflows that happen from our sewer system, because our rainwater and our drinking water, our toilet water, everything goes into the same system. And those massive storms over override the system and it's just too much and that they looted sewage goes into our rivers, streams and waterways. So to combat that and prevent that from happening. We're putting in small green stormwater infrastructure GSI systems throughout the city to prevent that hold the water, infiltrate it down into like our normal water water cycle. And yeah, that is essentially the initiative of the Green City Clean Waters program.
Nice. Nice. You said that better than I would. You also covered the other acronym G GSI. So green stormwater infrastructure. And so while we're on this topic, how did you get into this field? How did you start your career? And just tell us about your your current role? Sure.
So I started right out of college, I went to Drexel University. I was a dual major in architectural and civil engineering with a construction management minor. At applied with the city of Philadelphia, I was actually aiming to work for the Streets Department and bridge design. But when you apply for the city, they actually have a list of civil engineers, you take an exam, you get put on the list based on your ranking, and any department within the city can pull engineers from that list. So the water department pulled me before the Streets Department did an interview with several different groups within the water department and the Green City Clean Waters program. It's still in my heart. I was like, first of all, this is a massive and initiative no other city is, is doing this type of work. And I want to be involved with it. So that's kind of how I ended up there. A little more background, I started in program support what it was at the beginning, I was there for about three years. Then I moved to GSI design, and I was a program, a project manager. And I managed projects for a couple of years, I became a supervisor in that group, and I managed a team of three engineers. And this was all while COVID started. So I was managing a team remotely, and I was pregnant with my first child, I went on maternity leave for three months, I came back, I was there for about another nine months before I actually left the water department, I became a stay at home mom for about 11 months. And then eventually I came back to the water department. I've been here for about 10 months. So now my role is back in program support. But I run the design support group that is inside of that. And I manage once again, a team of three.
I mean, and this is why we wanted to talk to you for this life theme about work life balance, because I knew you just been all over the place, you know, being at the water department, getting this promotion, and then taking a break to start a family. And then diving right back in like, I'm like she's gonna have a lot to say on this.
Definitely. And I guess Yeah, with that in mind, how did having a daughter impact your career.
So in a lot of ways, like I mentioned, I've kind of been back and forth, I did two leaves one for three months for FMLA during maternity leave, and then again, when I left for a longer stay, and then I came back, I think the biggest impact is that you're stepping out of your role. For a period of time, you're missing opportunities. There's no way around that. Because as you're getting ready to leave, even though it's temporary, there's things that are like, well, we can't involve her in that, because she's about to leave. And while you're gone, things are still happening around you. I know one initiative that was starting up before I left was implementation of dynamic design in our program. And I was really excited about that. But I was about to leave. So I couldn't be as involved as I would have liked. Additionally, just your your how you approach your work your your work ethic, and your style has to change. Because when you come back, you're not the same person. And trying to hold yourself to those same standards is not not reasonable. I nursed my daughter for two years, so are nearly two years. So like that has a great impact on what you're doing every day when you have a newborn, you are nursing them every two hours. So that has a great impact on what you got.
So literally what I'm doing right now. Is this normal two hours.
Exactly. Yeah. So there's sacrifices on both ends, especially once you come back. When you're working, there's things that you're not doing in your family life. And when you're with your family, you're you're doing things that you may not have normally done because you may have stayed a little bit later at work. So definitely has an impact. But it's it's, it can be overcome.
And I'm like I'm going off script a little bit like how was that decision to, you know, stay home a little bit longer. And then the decision to then go back to work? Like how did that all play out for you? And you know, I'm selfishly asking because the weeks my baby's five months, how old is Sadie?
Oh, so CD is two and a half now. So she's almost three. So our decision was interesting, because, um, which I didn't mention, I started a business while I was a stay at home mom. And our focus was like building that business. And, but then we thought, Wait, like, we're gonna be in the city longer. We had planned on buying a house, the housing market was ridiculous. You know, life changes everything. And you kind of have to roll with the punches. So that's what we did. And we were like, well, we're still in the city. Let's go back and see if they'll have a see if they'll take us back. So I came back to the city and I came back I had, you know, I never left because I didn't love it. Like I love what I do. I love who I work with. So it was an easy choice to make to go back. However, at that point, I was home because even when I was off of maternity leave, I was still home. Like I literally had my baby right next to me while I was in meetings and doing different things. So when I had to actually go into the office that that was very difficult. But yeah, it was more like you know, financial planning for our future like this will be a boost for our our income and our finances. So it made sense to do at the time.
Yeah, it's, it's like it's so personal for everybody. There's so many different opinions and you know, it's all about your comfort level is sad and like daycare now that you're like going in and yeah, so she's, she's in a Montessori school, five days a week, and we have like, aftercare some days, and, you know, sending her to school for the first time, it was terrifying. I was like, This is my child. But I really liked the school. They even had like an onboarding section where they would meet with the teacher one on one before, like, class started and all these kids were there, they would have an indoor session to introduce them to the different activities and an outdoor session so they could see their campus. So I really, like my mama heart was happy to see her like, interacting with the teacher and her first day she went to the teacher because that was like a someone she knew.
Oh, that's so nice. And like what's I guess? What's a rundown of your typical busy day? And don't forget to tell us about your your side business. Oh, I heard that. So now we gotta hear all about that, too.
So I guess first about the business. I started plant based vegan baked goods, baked good online business called Mama's morsels. I'm vegan, I've been vegan for I don't know, eight. I've been like meat free for eight years or something like that. I don't remember I don't count anymore. I started this business because I felt like there was a gap in really good, like vegan desserts. So I was like, let me just let me just do this. And it's a passion of mine. I really enjoy building a business, all of the different parts of it. And I think I'd probably will continue to make businesses because I really enjoy it. So I know, but my my busiest day is actually today. So I actually took I left work early so that I could be here and do this because usually I would be on the train right now and I don't think being on the train would be would work. But i i On average, I wake up at 4am I typically the range is like 2am to 5am in the morning. from four to five I do my business work emails, social media content creation and planning orders. from five to 6am. I do my morning like workout I tried to do 30 minutes 15 minutes stretching an extra 15 minutes for those times that I'm just moving really slow and I don't feel like doing it. Six to 7am It's like shower, get dressed breakfast and then I open up my like pwd work laptop. I started to plan out my day. I'm very like, I like to write things down. So I have like my personal planner, I have my PW planner. I have my business planner and calendars and everything. Seven to eight in the morning. It's like getting my daughter up getting her dressed, getting her breakfast, getting her out the door by eight. Then it's taking her school eight to nine because her school is not close. It's like 20 minutes away. So like 40 minutes round trip. I come back home at nine and around 910 I catch a train to go downtown into center city into the office. I get to the office about for 940. And then my day is till about 540 I catch a six o'clock train home. And then the 630s dinner, seven to eight is more business stuff, increase new items. I do a lot of events. So it's like event planning, inventory tracking, things like that. And then eight to nine is me winding down for the day. I'm making my lunch for the next day snacks, things like that. And then nine o'clock is bed. Usually I go to sleep between eight o'clock and 11pm. And I've learned that I need at least five hours of sleep. So however that works out for that day.
Wow. Starting from the end, I can agree with you on needing five hours of sleep. Because that's what I learned recently. So I need at least that much as well. But you know, with a newborn waking up is a little bit different. Your day is extremely full. And when you said you started at four, I was like, where's this going? What does she need to do and more than more, but it's your it's so it's a it's your your person? It's because you're trying to fit in your personal business time before your, your work day. And then before that, you still have to drop your daughter off at school. It's a lot. It is, do you feel like it's it's it's worth it to have all of these things go in? And do you ever get overwhelmed with that? Like, how do you how are you feeling from day to day with this schedule?
So I definitely get overwhelmed. For sure. All the time. I think that's anticipated. I think, is it worth it to fit all these things in? Yes, and because everything is important to me to do, and a lot of things I strategically plan so that way I'm hitting, I'm hitting things that fulfill the needs that I have. So when I do get overwhelmed, and kind of like and I don't know what's happening right now, I try to change my perspective on it. Usually, I'm overwhelmed, because I'm thinking about all of the little things that I have to do in one like perspective, and I have to realize I can only do one thing at a time, I'm only one person. So breaking it down into a schedule, where it's like this time block, this is what I'm doing, I'm not thinking about anything else, I'm only doing this task, then I can be very focused, dedicated. And when I'm done that task, I put it to the side, and I'm not thinking about it anymore. So it helps to like clear my mind of like that thing is done. Or even if it's not done, it's like I've worked on that today. So I feel accomplished that I put the time that I plan to do on it, even though it's not done. And I can move on from there. And also just prioritizing all of those little things that I like or float floating around in my head. And then building in meantime is really important so that I don't feel overwhelmed. So like to getting my exercise and like moving my body in some way, shape or form. Every day is really important for me, because most of what I'm doing is sedentary, I'm not moving. And like getting that stretch and just really is a is the best way for me to start my day. And to feel like okay, I did something, I checked it off like it's done. And, yeah, same thing with like, winding down at the end of the day, it's reading a book, it's listening to music, doing a puzzle, I like to draw on sketch. So just filling that time with something that's like, just for me. Really helps to to not, it doesn't help the overwhelm, but it helps me to fill the blocks that I need to feel like okay, my day is done. And I've taken care of all the aspects that are me.
Yeah. And do you like, I guess what's the priority when you can't fit all of these things in like, which is the first activity that kind of goes out the window? And what do you make sure that you can get in if you can, um,
goes out the window. So if I'm like really grinding with okay, like I need to cut something. I personally I struggle with like, I cut myself out. I know I shouldn't do that. But your meantime at the end of the day, yeah. It's like, okay, especially if it's at the end of the day and I'm exhausted and I it's like, I don't I can't stay up and draw like I need to just crash right now because I feel like I'm too exhausted from everything. It also depends on what are the things that like I have to do, and and balancing that. Obviously, it's like, you know, I have to do my job. They're paying To me, that is my livelihood. So like, that is very important. I schedule in like time with my daughter. So like, this is a day where, like, I'm taking her to school in the morning, but then her father's picking her up at night. So that's why you don't like there's nothing in the schedule with like me, like dealing with her. But if it wasn't like where I had her from the time that I pick her up, like it's all her until she goes to bed at eight o'clock. So there's like it's doing dinner, it's doing play activities, like bath books bed, like that's our routine. So then you can see, it's like, well, eight o'clock, either I'm going to sleep or I'm staying up and I'm doing stuff.
Right? And like, how did you actually sorry, let me break. Michelle, did you? Were you going to hop in and say anything to the audience about questions? Or I can, if anybody has questions, just go ahead and post them. And I'm hoping Michelle can type send us what those questions are. Because I could not get access to the LinkedIn stream to multitask that good. So we have like, about 10 more minutes. If anybody has questions for Ashley, please, please send them through. And otherwise, I'll just keep going with my questions. But just how did you work your way up to this, this this routine that you have today? Like didn't have to start slowly? Like you added in like the business sounds like a really big deal. You know, did you work your way up to that over? Like, how much time and yeah, just have How do you go about achieving this? Because I guess as normal people, maybe not quite there yet. Would like to get there.
So I guess I will say that I've I'm really big on planning. I love organization. I've had a planner like since since they gave you the planners in elementary school, I was always so excited. And then when I went to college, and they didn't give me a planner, I was like, What is this nonsense. And then I realized, okay, I can go buy my own, I
am over that era of getting planners. That's true that was. So
I love that I love planning organization. At one point, I thought like maybe I can be a professional signer, or like, I don't, I don't know what the title is. It's a lot of trial and error. So what I used to do would be I would stay up at night until I think the my cutoff was like 2am. And then I would go to sleep and I would wake up later. What I realized with that is you start to sleep it like you oversleep. And you can't get that time back. I was more efficient if I just went to bed early and got to start fresh because I'm a morning person. So trying to force myself to be a night person and stay up late was very difficult. I would just be like falling asleep trying to get stuff done. I was like, this is a waste of time, I might as well be sleeping. So it definitely didn't start with the schedule that I have now. And over the life of my business, it started in 2021. But it really didn't get going until like may 2022. So in the beginning, it was just kind of like figuring out logistics and like how do I get my my business license and all these things. But it ramped up in the in the last quarter of 22. So I kind of was forced to figure something out because I got myself burnt out doing way too many events because it's the last quarter and everybody's everybody wants to buy stuff. So I kind of had to take a break, pause myself and be like, Okay, what am I doing here? Because this is not sustainable. And I think that's applicable in in anyone's life when you do get overwhelmed. pause and reflect and really assess and prioritize like what are the things that are important to you right now? And put yourself first I'm saying this to myself to put yourself first and make sure that you're good before you try to do anything else have have you built a support system? Most definitely. My my family and my my closest friends have been an amazing support system to me. Actually, I was I was like messaging them like I'm gonna doing this interview and they're like, you're great. And I was like thanks guys. I'm so yeah, I can With a degree a support system is so important to to help you when you're when you don't feel like you're that great. And when you don't know what to do when you don't know how to prioritize things, having someone that's a sounding board. Something I also like to do and like my wine downtime is journaling. That's really helpful to get your thoughts out on paper. I'm definitely an advocate for therapy, talk to somebody. Yeah.
So I guess back to the business that you have, like, how does that blend in with like, your engineering mind and like switching off from like, vegan treats to like, you know, CSOs and phones and everybody, um,
I think just the aspect of building a business from scratch, it's literally nothing and it doesn't move without you. So just I really enjoy like the recipe testing portion in the very beginning of my business, figuring out flavors and experimenting with different things. That to me was very much the like experimental engineering side of like, Oh, can I put this together this weird? So that experimentation as well as just you when you're a single business owner, you do everything? Your marketing, your social media, your you know, your accountant, every aspect of who is an animal? I can't believe he did that.
Night. Yeah, so it's just an extension of me. It's things that I love just putting them together. Yeah.
Well, you make it look easy. And I think it's really admirable, like, I have extracurricular activities and hobbies and things I like to do. But it would just take like, I think, a lot of courage to actually turn that into a business on top of, you know, your day job and your daughter and personal time. I think it's, it's really admirable what you're doing. And I guess what are your closing thoughts on just this topic of like, creating work life balance before we wrap up?
So I think with work life balance, it's forever a moving target. It's never going to be perfect. But that's okay. You have to understand that your your life, your responsibilities, the things that you're aiming for, will change over time. And like I said, pause, reflect, understand what your goals are now, and then adjust accordingly. I think getting overwhelmed and getting bogged down does not mean failure. It's a lesson that we can use to learn and grow and build better routines that help us do it better, like life doesn't stop. So we have to kind of just keep pushing forward. And yeah,
yeah, no, I love that like it's not you know, it's not a failure, just turn it into another you know, learning stepping stone. Most definitely, until you're able to wake wake up at four in the morning. Sorry, I can't get off of that. But yeah, it's amazing. Michelle, does you want to
Well, we can't hear you Michelle.
if I unmute that really does help if it makes a world of difference. I want to thank both of you for joining us. Ashley. I can't imagine having a child and doing the the nine to five and what we call it a five to nine or or the parallel printer. I've done it not with the with the infant so I'm the night owl. I'm the one that was going to work late. Late like I was at 1am Personal like what is the spirit job at 730 I'll get so out of out of cell phone at a company truck they needed me somewhere I drive through some cornfield so but I say thank you so much. Money. Thank you for coming on with system and bringing on this fantastic topic and discussion for tonight. For Women's History Month. Everybody be sure you join us a again next week, we have another fantastic guest is coming on and moderator front from system. If you are looking for a community of women of color in the water industry, you want to be sure to connect with Monique as one of the founding members that system. So you can find other women of color in this industry to connect with. We will be back next week discussing forging new career paths. What does that look like? And we really have a dynamic guests coming on next week.
We she actually it took I don't know if you can call it a sabbatical. But the work has one job. And now she's at the US Environmental Protection Agency as a senior advisor, but she can go back to our other job when she done there. So I can't wait to hear this story because like I could have done that. Tell me how to do it. So everybody, come join us next week, Wednesday, March 22 at 6pm. Eastern time. We look forward to having you and everybody have a fantastic week. We'll see you then. Bye,
everyone. Thank you Michelle.