Why is it difficult for white people to Acknowledge and Respect Other People's Boundaries

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Why is it difficult for white people to Acknowledge and Respect Other People's Boundaries

Are you a white person and you have been called out for not respecting a BIPOC boundaries that they set for you? Do you find yourself struggling to accept this and you feel frustrated to the extend that you feel like crying because nobody is understanding you?

Let us get down to this, structured and step by step. First things first let us look at what is setting boundaries mean and what are the ways in which I can set my boundaries independent of what subject we are looking at.

Close your eyes and think quietly and you will notice tones of things around you that you may have never consciously viewed as boundaries. The obvious and visible ones such as property line, borders, showing where one thing ends and another begins

Where Do Boundaries Come From?

There are many factors which influence how our boundaries form and develop:

· How we are raised

· What we value

· Our culture

Let us look at boundaries on personal levels. On personal levels, boundaries help you define what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by others. They apply to any kind of relationship you have – whether with a friend, family member, partner, strangers or anyone else in your life.

Boundaries define who we are, how we interact with others and what is acceptable. Personal boundaries encompass physical, emotional, and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others.

We often think of boundaries as being defensive in terms of what we want to keep out. While that is true, the opposite is also true: boundaries are about what I value and what I want more of in your life.

Boundaries allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel from the thoughts and feelings of others. They are our guidelines for what is acceptable to us.

Reasons Why Boundaries are Important?

They are a form of practicing self-care and self-respect

Boundaries help us to communicate our needs in a relationship

They ensure we make time and space for positive and equal interactions.

When we have boundaries, it allow us to set limits in a relationship in a way that is healthy.

They mean we share personal information gradually and create mutual and trusting close relations

Boundaries protect ours and others physical and emotional space.

So why is it difficult for white people to respect other people’s set boundaries.

Let us look at the acts of touching Black people’s hairs.

There’s a fascination that White people have with black hair that makes us, a black people sick and yes even, suspicious.

When you touch my hair there are several messages that you are sending out there. Let us first look at the historical background. For many people in the world outside white spaces hairs have an important and sacred part in our cultures and beliefs which need tob e respected. During the slave trade era, slaves were forced to shave their by their masters, apart from the fact that slaves were never seen as human…rather black cattle hence personal hygiene was never played a significate role for white people. So we now look at the historical and power dynamics that was imposed on the black bodies.

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