Two brothers who learned to love each other because mom made us. We aren't funny and nobody likes us.
My turtle isn't great with finances. Other things: Bob Ross Comment Section, Bicycle Shit Bag, Nerf Squirrels, More Diarrhea
All we wanted was a lovely stroll through the park, but instead you gotta call me a pillock. Other things: They Offer a Wash and Fold Service; How to Make a Good Patty Melt; You're Not Going to Heaven if I'm Not; What Is the Plural of Pillock; SPRING HAS SPRUNGING; I Know What a Grandma Is; Turn the Reverb Up While You're At It…
I just didn’t want to have to pay rent anymore. How did I end up here? Other things: They Are All Inside Bill Murray; A Bird Casino and Potato Salad; A Sweaty Pizza Mess; We Lose All of our Italian Endorsements; Plenty of Other Ways to Poison Your Child
So let's say a murder occurred in your home, and let's say you didn't do it. Or maybe you did. It doesn't matter. What matters is your daughter is a little mad about it. Other things: We're Sorry, Your New Favorite Pizza-chaini, An Unfinished Patio, The Fahrenheit of Margins, Get Outta Here Feudalism!, The Worst Possible Future…
Fluffers challenges you to a steel cage match, and someone's not leaving alive. Other things: Old, Cold, and a Little Bold; Cowboy Pirates; Hey That's MY Storm Shelter; Opening the Big Heavy Door
My esteemed colleagues, in these difficult times, we can all agree on one thing - it's Turkey Tidbits day, and we're all too hungry to deal with any of this. Other things: A 7-year-old Scumbag, Andrew's Plan to Exorcise Florida, Valentine's Day Butt Washin's, Please Don't let my Save Status Burn, A Hot Cup of Porridge…
Listen, when you purchase a haunted house, this is in the realm of possibilities. This is part of the deal. Other things to talk about: Corn on the COB, No good clowns can come from this, Movie Time with Uncle Pants, FiscRepDramCom, a nice Espressanini in Falmouth, and Fuckin' Nick.
If you're late for strudels, then you don't get any strudels. No exceptions. Other things: System of a Down Watch 2K20, FOOL PANTS with TURKEY STUFF, You Can Do Whatever You Want With You Spaghetti, Lamb Sauce, Rabies the Clown
It's the safest car on the market, and it comes in pink. Thanks dad! Other things: Wet Lawn Furniture, A Subtle Altercation, A Racist Siren, Randomly Generated Bugles,Two C's at the Front, Mini Momcast!, Surrounded by Wolves
I won't go to this gay bar without my T-shirt novel. Other things: Dads Hate Brunch, Illegally Copying Sousa, Vegan BBQ Surprise, Real Bacon Bits