最高の Free Legal Advice ポッドキャスト (2024)

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Episode 335 - In Which Our Meaningless Local History is Lionized 39:31

2d ago39:31

39:31

They can't all be winners, Little Captain Travis. At least, not with my level of talent. But either way, this week we break from our standard weekly offering of pointless silliness to deliver you nearly 40 minutes of even MORE pointless silliness. We've ratcheted up the pointlessness! If this isn't your cup of tea, though, never fear: Next week we'…

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Episode 336 - A FLAP in the Hand Is Worth the Other Side of the Fence 36:45

4d ago36:45

36:45

This week we examine the utility of all those old sayings that old people were always saying. They were always saying those sayings, but in this episode we're saying some new sayings, and we think people should start saying those sayings that we were saying, instead of the other sayings.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 334 - Tour de FLAP 49:29

18d ago49:29

49:29

Sometimes the episode titles write themselves, folks. In this episode, Matt will attempt to do for the Tour de France what I did for the Olympics. Which one of us did it better? Vote now! I don't have a link, or anything. Just go somewhere and vote on it somehow.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 333 - Mix-Up at the IP Factory 43:17

25d ago43:17

43:17

Through means which will be described herein, we have acquired the rights to several sizzling slabs of intellectual property. See just what we do with such slabs by listening to this 'sode! Is "'sode" a thing? Is that an acceptable abbreviation for "episode"? I feel like it shouldn't be.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 332 - Use This to Cram for Your History Midterm 41:35

1M ago41:35

41:35

We have successfully crammed the entirety of human history down into one single podcast episode. It wasn't that hard, actually. It turns out not much has really ever happened. However, should Matt do another one of these episodes, whatever we cover in that episode will be newly uncovered secrets of history. So (possibly) look forward to those secre…

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Episode 331 - Hosted by Bob Hope or Billy Crystal 33:42

1M ago33:42

33:42

We're coming up on a year's worth of episodes, if they came out daily, which they don't, so this sentence is completely pointless, actually. But regardless, after a year's worth of things, most organizations give out awards to themselves, so we figured now is as good of a time as any for us to follow suit. Welcome to the whatever-number-Cory-said-i…

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Episode 330 - You Actually CAN Call It a Comeback This Time 46:33

2M ago46:33

46:33

Celebrities rise and fall, but sometimes they rise again. In this case, at least three of them do. Also in this case, there are some jokes sprinkled throughout that reference an episode that we had already recorded, but has not yet been released. I left them in as a fun treat for the loyal Hoggies out there, because they make no sense now, but will…

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Episode 329 - With Apologies to Those Tooth-Poor Fog-Breathers 33:54

2M ago33:54

33:54

We don't REALLY hate those pasty, island-dwelling imperialists over there in the United Kingdom. Well, maybe Ben does, but regardless, this week we're going to be paying homage to one of Britain's most famous* game shows, Dubitably or Indubitably.*nonexistentFree Legal Advice による

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Episode 328 - Unidentified FLAPping Objects 40:12

2M ago40:12

40:12

UFOs: Should we believe in them? No. Are stories about them credible? No. Do they exist? No. But what if that's just what they WANT us to think? What if the people (i.e., aliens) behind these things WANT us to think they don't exist? That would give them a free hand to enact their nefarious probe-related schemes. I think I just blew this thing wide…

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Episode 327 - FLAP Refresher 44:12

2M ago44:12

44:12

We've been presented with a quiz this week, and the subject IS FLAP ITSELF!! This might be for the best, since it could serve as an opportunity for the casual (i.e., disloyal and wicked) listener to understand some of the references we make. Or it would, had we bothered to explain half of them this time around. But it's fun nonetheless, I promise!…

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Episode 326 - 2 Minutes for Roughing, 3 Years for Tax Evasion 45:14

2M ago45:14

45:14

The Toronto Maple Leafs' owner went to the penalty box, a.k.a., federal prison, and yet THEY were on the "power play", so to speak, without him. Hear this story and other NHL-related wackiness today on the Free Legal Advice Podcast as the competence of the entire nation of Canada is called into question.…

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Episode 325 - Free Résumé Advice 46:19

3M ago46:19

46:19

Here's some advice for you: "Résumé" has the little accent mark on both of the 'e's. Not just one, but both of them. Not knowing this will get your résumé tossed on the "TO BE BURNED" pile, so be forewarned. Outside of that, just wing it. What could go wrong?Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 324 - It's Everyone's Favorite Monu-Mountain! 33:26

3M ago33:26

33:26

Cory has stolen my idea. Now, to be fair, I did basically tell him to in the description of the most recent Mount Rushmore episode. I should use this to my advantage. TO CORY: From now on, you are to come up with all of my episode topics, in addition to your own. Don't worry, it won't be very difficult. You can just steal the ideas from me.…

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Episode 323 - The Army Corps of Sloganeers 39:34

3M ago39:34

39:34

We specialize in short, snappy, memorable phrases that ensure positive associations of your brand identity within the key demographic. That's why they call us Free Slogan Advice. Or was it Free Marketing Advice? Well, they sure as hell don't call us Free Naming Advice, so I think it's fine to punt on this one.…

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Episode 322 - Revenge of the Tournament of Nerds 57:24

3M ago57:24

57:24

Over 200 episodes ago, we stole the Tournament of Nerds idea. Did I say stole? I mean created ourselves. Sorry, sometimes I confuse those two phrases. Anyway, we're bringing it back this week. If four years seems like a short time to wait for a rehash like this, consider that I sometimes don't even wait four weeks to rehash my own topics, none of w…

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Episode 321 - Has This Ever Happened to You?! 51:48

4M ago51:48

51:48

We bring back an oooold favorite this week, with the classic six-pack-o-pitches episode format that fans of all ages loved and adored. They loved and adored it, dammit. They may, and do, say otherwise, but don't listen to them. What the hell do they know? They're the ones who've been clamoring for its revival, according to me, so why wouldn't they …

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Episode 320 - Scrofula Cured or Your Money Back! 49:10

4M ago49:10

49:10

As the title says, this podcast promises to cure your scrofula, or your money back. Ha! Joke's on you! You didn't pay us any money in the first place! At all! We make absolutely nothing whatsoever doing this! I repeat, the joke is on you!Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 319 - One Last Ride up That Mountain 33:37

4M ago33:37

33:37

Ol' Grant's got another trick up his sleeve, whereby he disguises an old topic as a new topic, simply by putting a small spin on it. This particular gimmick, however, I think could actually be an entire podcast series by itself, so I'm sad that this will be the only time we do it. Unless one of my genius brothers steals this idea, puts a tiny twist…

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Episode 318 - Sun Tzu's The Art of the Deal 43:35

4M ago43:35

43:35

Anyone who doesn't treat business like war will just end up getting killed. Killed in business, I mean. Although, really, probably killed in real life, too, by the greedy, bloodthirsty psychopaths who view all human endeavor as an opportunity to dominate their fellow man. #RiseAndGrindYourFaceIntoDust…

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Episode 317 - This Magical Fantasy Cartoon Is 18+ Only 49:08

5M ago49:08

49:08

Ever heard of the movie Fire and Ice? Probably not. We have plenty of silly observations about it that should satisfy you anyway. And it's probably more entertaining than actually watching the movie, anyway.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 316 - André Is the 8th, but What Are the Other Seven? 37:54

5M ago37:54

37:54

Every school child at some point learns that André Giant is the 8th Wonder of the World. But it's rare that teachers ever go over the other seven. This makes sense, considering how old and worn out those other seven are. That's why this week, we're figuring out seven wonders for the modern age. Also, Chyna is the 9th.…

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Episode 315 - Still Not Cured? Try Hard Narcotics This Time! 39:35

5M ago39:35

39:35

In an effort to give equal time to all viewpoints, we're continuing our series on medical quackery. Sure, this stuff has all been proven false beyond all doubt, and practicing anything you hear in this episode could only even charitably be described as insane, but we're going to let you do your OWN research, listeners.…

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Episode 314 - Jumping Over a Shark and into Our Graves 31:06

5M ago31:06

31:06

You may not have known this about us, folks, but we're shark-jumpers. To a man. We've never met a shark we wouldn't jump. Now, to be fair, none of us have ever, even once, met a shark, so this has never actually come into play before. Actually, this is probably why you didn't know this about us. We're all learning things today, aren't we?…

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Episode 313 - Park Your Little Brats in Front of This for an Hour 39:41

5M ago39:41

39:41

Children's television plays an important role in our society. Without it, how would parents detach themselves from responsibility? It is largely to the clowns that the credit for this necessary institution is given. It is the one and only reason we haven't launched them all into the sun.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 312 - Face, Meet Mountain, Part Deux 41:35

6M ago41:35

41:35

It turns out there are countless more Mount Rushmores that we can create, and so we do. Why do they climb the mountain? Because it's there. Why do we dynamite the mountain? Because it's there. Also because of our surplus of high explosives.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 311 - Stick These Elements Up Your Butt to Cure What Ails You 47:27

6M ago47:27

47:27

Medical science hasn't always been, well, a science. For many centuries it was mostly just focused on finding different rocks to shove up people's buttholes, or figuring out new ways to expose witches. Nowadays we leave that stuff to the professionals at the chiropractic clinics.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 310 - Hasbro Presents the Cory Commercial Hour 41:33

6M ago41:33

41:33

We're making a cartoon based on Cory. It will be inspired by the Saturday morning cartoons he grew up with, which means it will NOT be a thinly-veiled 30-minute-long advertisement, it will just actually be a 30-minute-long advertisement. There was no veil, folks. The emperor had no clothes, because they were sold separately.…

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Episode 309 - Job Fair of the Future 47:38

6M ago47:38

47:38

Has YOUR job of the future been invented yet? Actually, statistically, of course it has. What a ridiculous question. Where was I even going with this? Oh yeah, this episode is about jobs of the future.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 308 - A FLAP By Any Other Name... 30:53

7M ago30:53

30:53

...would sound as sweet. Precisely AS sweet, so even if you don't think it sounds sweet to begin with, I'm not asserting that its sweetness level would change at all. Also, this episode is about naming things.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 307 - You Might Be a Goldneck... 41:11

7M ago41:11

41:11

Is "goldneck" a term for rich people, like how "redneck" is a term for the uncouth poor? Well, it is now. That's the joke I thought of for the title, and I'm not changing it. Anyway, in this episode, we identify all the key indicators of wealth. At least, from a child's perspective, that is.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 306 - Too Many Possible Genres to Count 39:43

7M ago39:43

39:43

We're burying this episode with a Christmas Day release because there's just too many possibilities and we weren't able to narrow it down at all. How could we? The subject, of course, is a TV show about Grant, and let me tell you, there are too many different choices, every single one of which would be pure gold.…

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Episode 305 - 60,000 Tons of Dynamite Can't Be Wrong 38:19

7M ago38:19

38:19

Let it be known throughout the land: If you have something that's precious to you, especially if you're a marginalized group of some sort, we will dynamite the living hell out of it until it resembles something that's precious to US. This is the natural order of things, and it will not be interfered with.…

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Episode 304 - Win a New Dinette Set By Spinning a Giant Wheel 50:00

8M ago50:00

50:00

We're taking one more spin through the failed wreckage of old television, this time focusing on game shows. All you need to know about game shows is that you team up a random nobody with a C-list celebrity, have them play a boring word game, mix in some corporate sponsorship, and you've got a hit on your hands. Or, much more likely, you've got 12 e…

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Episode 303 - The Ghostly Nuisance 35:38

8M ago35:38

35:38

We have many corrections, omissions, and other such errata to discuss today, but it all sort of revolves around a certain movie...Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 302 - 'Memba This? 36:31

8M ago36:31

36:31

So, you know how, like, stuff will, sorta just, be a thing, then, like, go away, or something? Like, people used to talk about it a lot, and junk, but then it seems like they don't quite so much? Nowadays? If so, then you already understand this week's topic. If you don't, Matt will do a much better job explaining it in the actual episode.…

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Episode 301 - Documenting a "Legend" 37:41

8M ago37:41

37:41

What if I told you that a record was set over twenty years ago? Would you be interested? If you were one of the men who set that record, yes. Yes you would be. Hopefully that's a big enough audience for this.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 300 - Once, Twice, Three Times a Hundo 1:16:11

9M ago1:16:11

1:16:11

It is our three hundo-th episode, ladies and gentlemen. Lots of people said we'd never get here. All of you, in fact, said that. We even said that. Arguably, we SHOULDN'T have gotten here. But against all odds, logic, and good sense, here we are. Let's just make the best of it, shall we?Also, here's an attribution for some free music, just because:…

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Episode 299 - Not Associated with the Fyre Festival 40:14

9M ago40:14

40:14

WE ARE NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE FYRE FESTIVAL IN ANY WAY. I cannot stress that enough. Legally, I CANNOT stress that enough. WE ARE NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE FYRE FESTIVAL IN ANY WAY. Is that enough? Better safe than sorry, I guess. WE ARE NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE FYRE FESTIVAL IN ANY WAY.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 298 - Dump a Barrel of Gatorade on your Podcast App 41:20

9M ago41:20

41:20

Many children love playing sports. But they need an adult to pretend to understand the sport in order for the whole charade to work. The children who don't love playing sports also need an adult, but this time it's either to yell at them or to politely bench them. The benching is a win/win in that scenario.…

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Episode 297 - The Benverly Hillbillies 37:17

9M ago37:17

37:17

You know how stand up comedians used to get their own sitcoms all the time? Well, in the future, completely unknown podcasters are now getting their own sitcoms. ALL. THE. TIME. So much so that even one of your four beloved FLAPmen has been contacted by a network and asked to star in his own show. We brainstormed a few ideas to help him get started…

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Episode 296 - The Origin of More Legendary Characters 44:13

9M ago44:13

44:13

Ever wonder where your favorite characters come from? Well, we're pulling back the curtain on the entire creative process this week to give you an inside look at this closely-guarded system. The way it works is that someone sends an email that contains a bunch of random names, and the recipient has to create characters based on the names alone. It …

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Episode 295 - The WFLP Movie of the Week 46:34

10M ago46:34

46:34

For some reason, the only explicitly-named media crossover we ever got was the made-for-TV movie. All sorts of works are adapted from one medium to another, but to my knowledge, the only time a medium itself was adapted was when they made movies, but for TV. It never went the other way. We also never got the made-for-TV book, the made-for-book play…

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Episode 294 - Sumo Wrestling and Kickboxing: Together at Last! 40:01

10M ago40:01

40:01

You may know MMA as the sport where people punch and wrestle each other at the same time. But it used to be the sport where a puncher and a wrestler punched and wrestled at the same time, with the puncher only punching and the wrestler only wrestling. Sorry if that was confusing.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 293 - Boulevard Attestation (A.K.A. Street Cred) 35:40

10M ago35:40

35:40

I'd use this space to define the term "street cred", but Cory does it in the episode almost right away. Speaking of street cred, that Noah Webster's got it in spades when it comes to defining things.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 292 - He Truly Was One of Our Greatest Presidents 35:50

10M ago35:50

35:50

This week we take a look at the life of Ben Franklin, one of the greatest presidents in United States history. In fact, I can't find evidence of a single misstep he made while in office. I mean, even the great ones have a few blunders here and there. I'm going to have to look into this a little bit more.…

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Episode 291 - Whether It's Isosceles or Scalene, I Don't Like It 34:11

11M ago34:11

34:11

Today we discuss the sinister events that transpire within the most sinister shape, anchored on the third-most sinister island: The Bermuda Triangle. Thank the good lord that the triangle isn't centered on Mallorca, or we'd all be well and truly fucked.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 290 - Illuminati by Nature - Oh Wait, I Already Used That Title 46:35

11M ago46:35

46:35

This week we discuss the various beer and ass-paddle-related rituals conducted by the shadowy cabal of beard-stroking puppetmasters who secretly run the world. Spoiler alert: They mostly involve beer and ass-paddling.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 289 - They Failed for a Reason, Folks 38:10

11M ago38:10

38:10

Some pretty terrible ideas sometimes get the green light. So imagine how terrible the ideas are that DON'T get that green light. Even TV executives said "no" to these ideas, folks.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 288 - Camp FLAPconderoga 36:55

11M ago36:55

36:55

It is summer, and therefore you should be at camp. Ideally, the world would grind to a halt, and everyone would take up their positions as campers or camp counsellors. Alas, we live in a benighted world.Free Legal Advice による

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Episode 287 - Freedom Acquired 46:34

12M ago46:34

46:34

Do you know what it's like to learn to ride a bike, or drive a car, or buy a beer for underage hoodlums (which may or may not include yourself)? If not, listen closely to this episode and live vicariously through us. Also, you must be, like, five years old, in which case you should not be listening to this at all.…

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