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*****Top 5% Global Podcast***** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and ...
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The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast

David & Tracy Sellars

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Need help in your marriage?! We've got you covered! The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast will help you grow closer to your spouse and closer to God's design for your marriage. No marriage is too far gone to save or too healthy to not need a check up. Let's get started by building a Biblically healthy marriage!
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Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving. You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. …
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How to Get Your Husband to Engage With You (part 1) :: [Ep. 213] Surprisingly, there are probably things within your heart and therefore your marriage that you might not even realize are the very obstacle to getting to the good things you want in your marriage... This week's episode is a teaching on what might be halting your conversations with you…
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How To Love Your Wife Even Better :: [Ep. 212] This episode is for you guys! It's a detailed study that we think you are going to get a lot from. Not because we are anything awesome, but because Jesus is. He's where we get our Hope from. Our Hope for marriage. And today, we're turning to the Gospels of Mark and Luke and Matthew - looking closely at…
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Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you? Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, b…
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How to Love Your Wife Better :: [Ep. 211] Does this describe YOUR marriage at times? No unity No intimacy No friendship No fun No Spiritual Growth No Marital Growth No measurable outward growth towards others Yeah, us too. So, what gives? How can we go from being in love and investing in each other to not even caring anymore? There actually is an a…
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Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy? Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to of…
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Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began. Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but i…
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Tips & Tricks for Your Marriage :: [Ep. 210] In the past, we have purposely NOT done a lot of shows that include "tips and tricks" because we strongly believe that a successful marriage does not start with outward actions but with the inward heart condition. BUT in this episode, we wanted to bring some tips and tricks for the healthier marriages ou…
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Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything …
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A Marriage Full of Mercy & Grace :: [Ep. 209] Freely giving mercy and grace to my spouse is HARD. Mercy and Grace are soooo opposite of what we often FEEL like doing! Which is why it is so hard! But even still, this is what God calls us to as husbands and wives. Come listen to this week's episode to learn more about how to create a marriage full of…
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How to Stop Fighting: Q&A (part 3) :: [Ep. 208] Do you and your spouse fight? Is it often? Do you find yourself wondering how in the world do we stop the fighting?? In this broadcast, we answer your frequently asked questions about FIGHTING! Here they are... Q: Is it ever okay to Agree to Disagree? Q: In our marriage we are constantly at odds over …
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Ladies, have you spent years trying to connect with your husband in a meaningful and fulfilling way only to find that you just couldn’t get there no matter what you did? Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying to experience intimacy with a sex-addict? Seems oxymoronic, right? Intimacy with a sex- addict. We think so as well. But how many…
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Ladies, now that you know your husband has been unfaithful and broken covenant with you; maybe through pornography use, maybe it even escalated to being sexually active outside of your marriage, I want to ask you, what is your biggest fear? If you are like me, you are afraid that he will do it again. This is a very real and natural thing to be conc…
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How to Stop Fighting: What's the Root Cause? (part 2) :: [Ep. 207] "The outward fights we have with our spouse are a verbal manifestation of the internal war that rages in our individual hearts. When we live divided between two worlds, the result will always be strife. The war will rage." In this Part 2 episode, we continue in giving Hope to marria…
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What happens to a marriage, shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, that doesn’t undertake a specific recovery process? What happens to the individuals in that marriage? We believe, it’s likely that this marriage will be devoid of real connection and true intimacy. Sure, it is possible to stay married without recovery. Couples can sweep it under the r…
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How to Stop Fighting: What Do You Want? (part 1) :: [Ep. 206] Whatever your fights look like , the way we stop the fighting is the same. Quiet fights, all-out shouting matches, and everywhere in between...fighting happens within our homes. We've tried everything from stonewalling our emotions to our spouse, stuffing everything down deep where we th…
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Have you ever experienced a life-changing revelation that compelled you to share it with others and integrate it into your life? This is similar to the impact of embracing recovery and is at the very heart of what we felt when we surrendered to Jesus. Today, we will explore the 12th step of recovery, and how we can actively share our message while …
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How to Take Action Against Depression in Your Marriage (Part 2) :: [Ep. 205] Are you or your spouse struggling with depression? Have you considered the root cause? If not, you should! Finding the root cause can feel so complex. Maybe you're wondering, WHERE do I even begin?! Well, start here and come join us for Part II of How to Take Action Agains…
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Do you find it difficult to connect with God and know his will for your life? If you said yes, you are not alone. Just like the recovery journey, it takes a lot of persistent and consistent effort to cultivate a close relationship with the Lord. It doesn’t come naturally to us mere humans, but there is a roadmap for discovering how to make connecti…
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How to Take Action Against Depression in Your Marriage (Part 1) :: [Ep. 204] Depression is real and many have experienced it. Have you? Has your spouse? Modern medicine and doctors are arriving to the realization that depression is not always a medical issue cured by medication. In fact, for many, their depression is less about biology and more abo…
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Let us be the first to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day! Okay, how did that make you feel? Did you smile? Did it make you cringe? Did it bring up a feeling of excitement, or anger or even dread? We’ve found that Valentine’s Day is a tricky holiday. Well, it’s not a public holiday, but it is a recognized day on the calendar for celebrating love betw…
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How to Love Your Spouse When You Don't Feel Like It :: [Ep. 203] How's your love life? Ever feel unmotivated or just plain don't feel like making the effort to love your spouse? Maybe you're tired? Maybe you feel unseen? Maybe selfishness is at play? Wherever you find yourself this week, you need to listen to this week's episode! We are talking abo…
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Prayer is a Powerful Tool for Your Marriage :: [Ep. 202] Prayer is a powerful tool for your marriage! Are you consistently using the tool of prayer for your marriage? You are not alone, if you are not! Many Christians wish for prayer to be a part of their marriage but don’t know where or how to get there. Join us as we learn some practical tips on …
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Do you have a daily practice of self-reflection? Do you ever stop to take stock in how you act, think, and feel when relating to others? Most of us have heard the phrase - wash, rinse, repeat. And no, we aren’t talking about the latest greatest shampoo. Today as we talk about the 10th Step in SSA Recovery we will peel back the layers of what a dail…
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The Best Weapon for the War on Marriage :: [Ep. 201] "For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." - Ephesians 6:12 There is a war raging against God-ordained marriage. Do you see it? C…
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Last week we asked the question: Have you ever hurt someone and come to not only realize that you hurt them but understood exactly how you hurt them? This week we want to ask: Have you felt any fear or intimidation when making the choice to go back and right that wrong? We have a special guest today who is going to share with us his experience with…
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Keeping Score In Marriage :: [Ep. 200] Are you an imitator of Christ or an imitator of the enemy in regards to your spouse? Or for clearer perspective, how do you respond when your spouse messes up or makes a mistake? Are you keeping score? Keeping score in marriage is common and easy to do. BUT that doesn't mean it is the right and healthy way to …
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Have you ever hurt someone and come to not only realize that you had hurt them, but understood exactly how you hurt them? Today as we cover the 8th step of recovery of Sex Addicts Anonymous, it is time to do the work of making a list of those we've harmed through our destructive sexual behaviors and become willing to make amends. Working this step …
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How to Overcome Trials in Marriage :: [Ep. 199] What’s the biggest trial that has ever come to your marriage? The biggest test of your relationship? The biggest test of your faith in Christ? What’s popped into your head? I react to any kind of trial in the same way: get it away from me...QUICK! But could God have a different purpose in it other tha…
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Have you come to a place in life where you have been humbled by your own actions and are ready to move forward with hope and integrity? It is time to approach God humbly and ask him do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. From the Green Book of Recovery: "We may wonder why it is necessary to ask humbly. Many of us have confused humility with hum…
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How to Have a Blessed Marriage :: [Ep. 198] Blessings are a result - not a condition. To have a blessed marriage takes intentional and prayerful work. Thankfully, God has set us up for success to be blessed! Join us to learn just what we should be pursuing and implementing to in fact experience a blessed marriage! Psst. Are you an Apple Podcast lis…
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Have you come to a place where you understand that some of the things that you do are not beneficial for you? Or are even hurtful to others? What do you do once you’ve discovered this? Do you say, “Well, that’s just me.” Or, do you decide that you want to change these behaviors for your own good and the good of those you love? If so, how do you go …
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Start Here to Change Your Marriage! :: [Ep. 197] Does your marriage need to be refreshed? Remodeled? Rebuilt from the ground up? No one has a perfect marriage. We all have things we’d like to be different between us. Marriage problems come in all shapes and sizes. We can’t peek into your home today, listen in on your conversations and arguments, bu…
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Have you noticed that New Year’s resolutions don’t last much past January for most people? Statistically, 91% of Americans fail at New Year’s resolutions. That’s not very encouraging. We were going to talk about the reasons why resolutions are so hard to keep in today’s episode, but then Holy Spirit intervened. So, we threw out our outline and just…
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Undoing the Hurt in Your Marriage :: [Ep. 196] Our history together is what bind us together...but in marriage it can also be the very thing that rips us in half! When I do not have a history with you, and if you start off nice, often I will have a blind trust. BUT after years together, that history becomes overwhelming evidence against trust. Is i…
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Before you got married, you had in your head an idea of what you wanted your marriage to look like. You had all kinds of hopes and dreams and they were all good, positive things and you made plans according to this picture in your mind. But things didn’t go exactly as planned. This is not the first time this story has played out. God made plans for…
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Knock Their Socks Off! :: [Ep. 195] Nothing good in marriage happens accidentally. Being intentional is vital. Come listen to this episode where we remind husbands and wives of the importance of being intentional, even when it's not easy. We will share truth and scripture that will equip you with the insight you need to fulfill one of the highest c…
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Have you gotten to the point in your life where you are ready to tell someone else every terrible thing that you’ve done in your life? If this thought doesn't excite you or possibly even terrifies you, then you’re in good company. Baring our souls to another person is not something we come by naturally. However, the longer we keep secrets locked be…
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Have you turned your will and your life over to the care of God? Are you ready to gain an understanding of how you violated your personal moral boundaries and allowed addiction to set into your life? From the Green Book of Recovery: In taking the 4th step, we begin to know ourselves for who we really are. Building on the foundation of the first 3 s…
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Your Marriage is a Gift with a Purpose :: [Ep. 194] Are you missing the winsome joy your marriage used to have? In this episode, we want to provide you encouragement that a great, fun, JOY filled marriage can be had when both husband and wife strive to do things God's way. And when things are done God's way, God can use that joy filled marriage in …
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How to Get Through the Winter Season with Joy :: [Ep. 193] Ahhh the holidays. Many of us enjoy them but we also dread the end of them because that means the beginning of winter - not just with the weather and darkness but in our hearts and homes. We see the signs for sale at the store like Blessed, Joy, Hope and Peace on Earth and many of us have t…
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Is the holiday season hard for you after sexual betrayal? Or any date that reminds you of the devastation that sexual betrayal brings into a marriage? It sure was for us in the beginning. What is a healthy way to deal with these triggers when they occur? Today we are going to have a conversation about how these dubious dates affected our marriage a…
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How Thanksgiving can TRANSFORM Your Marriage :: [Ep. 192] As a kid I remember one Thanksgiving tradition, when my mom or my grandma would say, “Let’s go around the table and everyone says one thing you’re grateful for.” It’s a nice gesture and an important action- showing thankfulness. But what does that MEAN- showing thankfulness? Should it be a o…
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Have you admitted your powerlessness over your porn addiction? Have you come to believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity? These two questions encapsulate steps 1 and 2 of the Sex Addicts Anonymous 12-step recovery program. In today’s episode we will unpack Step 3. which focuses on surrendering our plans and path. Are you…
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Action Plan For Christmas: Budget, Extended Family, & Connection with Your Savior (Part 2) :: [Ep. 191] The holidays are FUN (or should be, at least!) But most people feel STRESSED by all the things that make up the holidays. Let's change the tune this holiday season from stress to spending ourselves well for the glory of our Father! Rather than ex…
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What does Thanksgiving Day mean to you? Here in the United States, it is recognized as a national holiday on the 3rd Thursday of November each year. Today we want to look beyond what’s considered to be the traditional activities of this special day, such as gathering of family, turkey dinner with all the fixings, football, post dinner food comas, a…
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Action Plan For Christmas: Marriage, Expectations, & Extended Family (Part 1) :: [Ep. 190] Today on this special episode, Action Plan for Christmas, we’re going to weave together a practical and heart-oriented action plan for Marriage, Budget, Extended Family Relationships, Connection with our Savior and other areas that may need some prayer and re…
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Do you see yourself in this vicious cycle of chaos? When we utilize technology to view pornography and use it for our own sexual satisfaction, then walk away from our devices, it can give us the illusion that we are in control. But how quickly do we shift from promising ourselves that we’re not going to do it again to contemplating what we've seen …
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How to Help a Hurting Marriage: Legacy (Part 13) :: [Ep. 189] It’s a forgone conclusion that you will leave a legacy. ALL of us will leave behind something for the generation after us – good or bad. Not a legacy made of money but a spiritual legacy that starts with you. This week's episode, we are wrapping up a 13-week series – How to Help a Hurtin…
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Does pornography use have a hold on you or someone you love? Today we are talking about Step 1 of the 12-Step Sex Addicts Anonymous recovery program. This is Johnny’s chosen recovery program so we will be sharing what this step entails, how he approached this step and why it is so imperative to start here. We will also be hearing from Emily on how …
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