Koopman's department store is in trouble. Christmas is 12 days away, and they've lost their Santa. In desperation, they hire Ruprecht. Is he a kindly old man in seal furs? A deathless shaman? A demon? Or pagan god? The real Father Winter with an empty eye behind a patch that makes coal of sinners? The city is about to find out the hard way. Their only hopes for salvation: a brainwashed orphan, homicidal detective, and an inept revolutionary.
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A hit 2017 podcast about the hit 1990s Disney animated show Gargoyles. Join Jem and Kay as they dive deep into nostalgic melodrama every other week.
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A podcast featuring stories from Surreal Grotesque magazine, a free online pdf mag at www.surrealgrotesque.com. They are a publisher of strange, surreal and downright freaky horror fiction. They can also be found on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thesurrealgrotesque or on Twitter @realgrotesque. If you like authors like Stephen King, Clive Barker, Ray Bradbury, Jack Ketchum, Christopher Rice, Douglas Clegg, this is the place for you!
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NIGHTMARE ON 34TH STREET: A XMAS GROTESQUE Words + Music by Geordie McElroy Epilogue *** Muffy Von Klump, Luz de la Cruz Lunched at Bistro Chez Bleu Where once the gang was a trio Now there were only two “There’s no decent reindeer anywhere” Luz sulked and dropped her fork Muffy sighed, “its out of fashion But you knew that of course” “Speaking of …
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NIGHTMARE ON 34TH STREET: A XMAS GROTESQUE Words + Music by Geordie McElroy Part 3 Secret Santa’s crossed off the list Drug dealers, arsonists, thieves Necrophiliacs and mountebanks Cops excised disease Bodies found in alleyways Sedan trunks by the docks Arcades, bars, overpriced condos In a playground sandbox Some with bullets between the eyes Som…
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NIGHTMARE ON 34TH STREET: A XMAS GROTESQUE Words + Music by Geordie McElroy Part Four In a parking lot, Dunn waited Desperate, fleeing gallows In the backseat of a federal fleet Obscured among shadows When agent Jones entered her car Dunn made himself known “Please, this whole things is a setup Couldn’t reach out by phone” Dunn produced the North P…
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NIGHTMARE ON 34TH STREET: A XMAS GROTESQUE Words + Music by Geordie McElroy *** Part 1 What is the color of Christmas? The white of untouched snow? The green of a Douglas Fir Or ceaseless mistletoe? Could it be the red of stockings? Or yule-log’s golden breath? No. The color of Christmas is black Black of a moonless winter's night The black of coal…
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NIGHTMARE ON 34TH STREET: A XMAS GROTESQUE Words + Music by Geordie McElroy Part Two *** Portia hosted at Koopman’s cafe A rich, aggressive bunch Muffy Von Klump and Luz De La Cruz These the ladies who lunch “Delish! This dish… simply divine!” “Bold boreal terroir!” Caribou tartare, pine resin wine Chowing down reindeer raw “Tell me where you found…
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S02E50-53 - Hunter's Moon 1, 2 and 3: Deus Mr eX Machina
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Our next episode will be our last, so write us an email at grotesquespod@gmail.com or forever hold your peace. Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E49 - Possession: Sneaking Up on Uncle Coldstone
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It's another episode! Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E48 - Reckoning: Attack of the Clones
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Happy Halloween, Jem and Kay are back from the dead yet again. Stick around for the emails to hear some imporant lore revelations! Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E47 - Turf: it finally happened and it sucked
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We return from yet another unscheduled hiatus to talk about all our worst nightmares coming true. This is our least favourite episode of Gargoyles! Hopefully this is not your least favourite episode of Grotesques, though. Love you! Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO…
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S02E46 - Vendettas: Let me Axe you a Question
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After another unannounced hiatus, Jem and Kay are back with a vengeance! This one was recorded like five months ago, we're fine, Jem just had to move house and start two new jobs, sorry Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E45 - The Gathering, Part 2: Service is its Owen Reward
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Jem and Kay uncover the two most important mysteries in television: who is Owen Burnett, and who is Kramer? Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E44 - The Gathering, Part I: Funny Subtitle Goes Here
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A new baby, a disguise revealed, another disguise hinted. Also, the return of the OJ trial?? Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E43 - Future Tense: Magic Pyramid Tokyo Drift
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Buckle up Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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This episode, the gargoyles are as sick of the avalon boat as we are! Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E41 - Cloud Fathers: When OJ Simpson Ruined Gargoyles
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Jem and Kay discuss an average episode of Gargoyles, as well as the Gargoyles Discord server and the role that OJ Simpson played in the cancellation of the show. Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E40 - Bushido: Large, Slab-like Billionaires
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Jem shares a spoiler in the cold open but it's bleeped out don't worry Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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In this episode we promise to let you know if we go on another hiatus, so it may seem ironic to release it after being silent for over 2 months, but don't worry, that wasn't a hiatus, the episode is just really late. Enjoy! Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO…
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2020 was a time of darkness. It was a world of fear. But now, the spell is broken, and we live again! Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E37 - The New Olympians: I'm Not a Minotaur, I'm a Cop
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This episode is late, and the next one probably will be as well. We hope you're safe. Find our merch on redbubble at https://www.redbubble.com/i/water-bottle/Grotesques-by-SnailFeathers/49541309.Y6CDO
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S02E36 - Eye of the Storm: Odin's At It Again
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Grotesques on Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/49541309
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This episode has everything: The return of a host-favourite tertiary character! Poor audio quality for the first ten minutes! A discussion of what might happen if you took a gargoyle to space!
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S02E34 - Mark of the Panther: Jellicle Gargoyles
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Lighten up your ears in these dark times with Jem and Kay's deep dive into Mark of the Panther.
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- We aten’t dead! Donate to bushfire relief: https://www.bushfirerecovery.gov.au/how-help/registered-bushfire-charities - Kay’s Drag Persona on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/randyroydrag/?hl=en Well, we're finally here. Tune in for discussions of representation, Dingo's work ethic, and whether Goliath has seen the Sun on TV…
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S02E32 - The Hound of Ulster: Punk Marty McFly vs Sexy Jimmy Neutron
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Having taken a brief break so Kay could get married, we're back and dumber than ever! Are Scotland and Ireland basically the same thing? Who is the mysterious voice actor behind Dingo? Why have there been so many stand-alone episodes travelling to different countries this season? All this and more shall be answered within. This episode's artwork be…
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Beneath the pensive stone face of the Great Sphinx of Giza lies a terrible threat to sensible television writing
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Another stop on the Avalon Boat Tour. This time we're in London, and we get a whole host of interesting new characters with very interesting outfits to discuss!
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S02E29 - Sanctuary: The Word's Oldest Incel
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After a rousing recap and analysis of the latest Magic Boat Mystery Tour destination, Jem and Kay finally get to the big questions: as podcasters, what are our favourite microphones? Will we finally start a Patreon?
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It's the Magical Mystery Boat Tour. This week: Prague!
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Just wanted to give a big shout out to anyone trying to figure out if we still have a release schedule
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Fresh from their unexpected and completely unannounced month off, Jem and Kay finally find out what's been happening in Manhattan while the parents and the dog have been away.
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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore— While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door— Only this and nothing more.” Ah, distinctly I …
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S02E24 - Shadows of the Past: Statler and Waldorf Spooktacular
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Pull up a chair and listen about some real Scooby Doo spooky shenanigans! Look how spooked our mate Goliath is:
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You really must stick around at the end for the email we got this episode
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Check out this awesome Phoenix Gate we discuss at the end of the episode!
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S02E21 - Avalon, Part 1: Another Goliath Enthusiast
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Where is this man in armour from? Or, should we ask... WHEN is he from (he's from the past)?
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Important announcement at the top. Also, please enjoy this screenshot of David "Perfect Eyeliner" Xanatos
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S02E19 - Protection: The Baffled Keith Composing Jalapeña
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A bland episode with a spicy twist
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The following screenshot of Goliath perfectly illustrates our feelings about the return of our old mate, Dingo
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We've been podcasting for over a year! To celebrate, we did a normal episode, it's a pretty good one though!
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INTERLUDE - Deleted Scenes, Part 3: Morgan Morgan Double-Junior
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Real life continues to be very unwilling to let us record new episodes, but there are at least two proper ones in the pipe after this, we promise. Listen to this latest deleted scenes episode and marvel as we discuss 1990s Australian kids TV, and the true name and nature of Morgan.
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An announcement, a weird hotel, a new friend
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INTERLUDE - Deleted Scenes, Part 2: Milk Line Clamps
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Real life got in the way of us recording an episode this slot, so here's another compilation of things that didn't quite fit
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Well, this was definitely an episode of Gargoyles. Can't deny that.
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Fox! Fox! Clone?
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S02E13 - High Noon: Needlessly Erotic Statues
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Sorry this is another late one, but hopefully it's worth it?
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INTERLUDE - Deleted Scenes, Part 1: I Dream of Owen
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This week we have a special compilation episode of things we couldn't fit in our regular episodes
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S02E12 - City of Stone, Part Four: Tasers For Breakfast
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The thrilling conclusion to the City of Stone arc. So good, we recorded it twice.
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S02E11 - City of Stone, Part III: Chekhov's Bronx
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Long live the King
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S02E10 - City of Stone, Part 2: Lucky Mask, Lucky Mace
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It's the second part of the City of Stone arc. Things are basically going as well as you'd expect.
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S02E09 - City of Stone, Part 1: Cartoon Gargoyles
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Kay continues their streak of not knowing who Matt is. Jem has a flashback to his Gargoyles-watching childhood.
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