Riverdale lovers/haters Evan and Allison break down each episode of the the iconic series, Riverdale. Follow chapter by chapter as they explore the complex plot lines, iconic quotes, and general chaos. Each week they try to answer some of our times greatest questions. Like which Riverdale characters are gay? Who has the most iconic outfits? And what happened to that Dairy Queen? Follow @cherylsbitches on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Email is at cherylsbwords@gmail.com”
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Sharing empowering thoughts, leadership, self-care and personal growth tips with women worldwide.
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Allison and Evan rank all the Riverdale ships! Is your favorite S tier? Find out!
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In the season 3 finale, the scooby gang has to survive a killer quest through Thornhill’s woods and we finally unmask the Gargoyle King.
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Chapter 56: The Dark Secret of Harvest House
1:11:34
1:11:34
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1:11:34
In this penultimate episode of the season, we finally learn the dark secrets of the Farm, Hiram finally gets arrested, and we finally get to see Hiram and Archie in the sauna together.
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Archie is double-booked for boxing matches, Cheryl is banned from running for prom queen, and Betty and Jughead have a scheme to (finally) catch the gargoyle king.
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The Jones play G&G to save JB, Archie attempts to psychologically recover from killing a man, and we say goodbye to Josie. Oh, and Kevin is *totally* Betty’s best friend.
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Archie has a boxing rematch, FP and Jughead try to stop Fizzle Rocks overdoses, and Betty chloroforms her mom.
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Jughead and the serpents try to stop his kingpin mom’s drug dealing gang. Betty and Cheryl try to stop the Farm. Veronica tries to stop her parents from getting divorced. They all fail.
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Yes, it’s the Heathers episode! The main topics of discussion are the dramatic whooshing sound effects, a college paper about the intertextuality that Allison wrote, and the iconic outfits, dance numbers, and line changes.
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FP is turning 50, Archie is trying to end people wanting to kill him once and for all, and Reggie wants to matter Ronni.
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Allison and Evan attempt to comprehend incomprehensible plotlines about genius 7-year old murders (who are secretly the younger brother of your juvie siutationship), underground casinos, and “deputizing the serpents”.
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Archie wants to box professionally, Alice wants to be baptized into the farm, Gladys wants the gargoyles to join the serpents, and Veronica wants daddy to get out of crime (as always).
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In maybe my favorite pod so far, we discuss the “gay antics” episode “Bizarrodale”. Cheryl outs someone through blind items, Kevin can’t keep blaming Brokeback Riverdale with someone who’s in the closet, and we assess the long term impacts of conversion therapy.
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Archie is in his flop era, Veronica tries to keep the mob enterprise going while Hiram is down, and we finally get to see Penelope’s brothel.
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Archie is back home, the kids are stressed about taking the SATs, and Betty just wants to go to college.
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Jughead tries to rein in the serpents, Betty tries to get the nuns to testify against Hiram, and Archie is attacked by a friggin’ bear.
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Jughead and Archie make it to Toledo, Betty and Ethel try to break out of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, and Veronica and Cheryl waterboard Penelope in maple syrup.
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Veronica goes all in on her speakeasy, Archie and Jughead are on the run from the law, and we get a look inside Betty’s twisted mind.
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Archie is on the run from the law, Betty does some not-so-great detective work, and Jughead is fully spiraling.
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The gang tries to break Archie out of juvie, while Jughead spirals into madness. Side rants include the turmoil of twinks on Julian Fellowes’ shows and NXIVM.
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We flashback to the ~late 80s/early 90s~ to see the origin of Gryphons & Gargoyles.
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Archie is forced into a juvie fight club, Ethel (and Jughead?) attempt suicide, and Veronica’s (non-alcoholic) speakeasy opens!
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In this chaotic episode, we are introduced to Evelyn Evernever, Dr. Curdle Jr., the Gargoyle king, and Monica Posh. It’s also the Epic High and Lows of High School Football episode.
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Allison and Evan discuss the season 3 premiere: highlights include Kevin’s lack of self-esteem, a debate about Archie Andrews’ Catholicism, and the introduction of Griffins and Gargoyles™️ and the Farm™️.
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Bonus: Riverdale Buzzfeed Quizzes and Imagines
1:04:47
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For season 2’s bonus episode, Allison and Evan play fuck, marry, kill and ship or dip with riverdale characters, read some frankly traumatizing imagines, question the internet’s thirst for Sweet Pea and discuss Charles Melton’s recent accolades.
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The season 2 finale! Jughead fights to keep the serpents alive, Archie is a dumbass, and we see the seeds of the cult antics to come.
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All of Riverdale is in pure chaos, someone tries to murder Veronica, someone else tries to murder Archie, someone else tries to murder Betty and Jughead (almost) gets murdered.
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The Black Hood is back, Fangs goes to jail, Archie loses control over the Dark Circle and finally chooses his dad over his daddy.
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In this episode, Allison and Evan discuss why the river vixens have funeral uniforms, if Archie is worth a million dollar ransom, is Sheriff Keller actually a good sheriff and who is Chic really?
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It’s the Carrie musical episode! Ethel is jealous, the Black Hood is back(!) and Allison and Evan do far too much singing.
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Toni tries to break Cheryl out of conversion therapy, Archie betrays his dad for his daddy, and Alice puts her snake skin back on.
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JH runs an actually successful protest, Cheryl gets sent to conversion therapy, and Andy Cohen is there.
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Archie takes a blood oath to Hiram, Jughead finally figured out what the Lodges evil plan is, and we quote “We could’ve had a real good life, Archie’s Dad” 7 times.
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It’s the Love Simon episode!!! Cheryl and Toni go on their first date to Love Simon, Kevin goes to this gay rom-com (Love Simon) alone, and the rest of the gang has a romantic weekend at Lodge Lodge (to avoid having to watch Love Simon).
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Betty hides a body, Archie shows unreasonable loyalty and Fred may or may not have been using undocumented Canadian workers this whole time?
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Allison and Evan discuss Veronica’s confirmation, Catholicism, Cole Sprouse’s acting, and icon Papa Poutine.
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In this frankly iconic episode, Allison and Evan discuss homoerotic wrestling, if Chic is hot or not, and the fact that Hiram Lodge has definitely suffered from Kinsey 2 allegations.
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In this episode, Allison and Evan react to Southside High shutting down, Betty finding her long lost brother, and explain why Veronica and Archie are actually soulmates.
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In this episode, Allison and Evan discuss Jughead skinning a woman, the Barchie kiss and the black hood getting caught!
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Allison and Evan discuss one of the most insane episodes of Riverdale (yes, the one where Betty strips to Mad World).
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Allison and Evan discuss one of the best Jarchie plotlines, Cheryl’s problematic behavior, and why you should always trust your women’s intuition.
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In a frankly chaotic episode, Allison and Evan discuss the sugarman, FP’s return, and the ethics of street racing.
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Allison addresses “your mom still dresses you slay-core”. Evan raves about Alice Cooper gaslighting and slaying. And they explain why you shouldn’t go into abandoned houses even if a serial killer tells you to.
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In this episode, Evan and Allison discuss an underreported problematic Archie moment, the ethics of vigilantism and how Betty’s ponytail is iconic and beyond reproach.
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Allison and Evan discuss woke Fred Andrews, the homophobic Betty Cooper moodboard, and how Kevin Keller did nothing wrong.
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In this instant classic of an episode Evan and Allison discuss the inherent homoeroticism of threatening to release your cousin’s snuff film and the prison industrial complex. And Allison sings 3 separate Taylor Swift songs.
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In the season 2 premiere, Allison and Evan discuss the arrival of Hiram “Daddy” Lodge, Fred’s brush with death, and Hermione not letting go of the Cristal.
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In this season 1 bonus episode, Allison and Evan react to circa-2017 Riverdale memes. It’s a lot of fun.
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On this finale, Allison and Evan discuss Serpent Slut™️ memes, Archie leading Betty on for no reason, and the future of Riverdale.
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Evan and Allison identify many plotholes in the penultimate episode of the season! #SpareUsTheMiddleClassMorality #WhereEvenIsToledo
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Allison and Evan discuss why Riverdale is an indie darling show, if Veronica has the emotional bandwidth to deal with Archie, and if Pop’s milkshakes are in the recommended diet of pregnant women.
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