191: Communication Series – Part 10 Focus on Someone (Jesus) Bigger Than Yourself

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer is excited to take about 10 episodes of the podcast to talk about communication. It is probably the most talked about issue that couples have together that can sometimes not work well. We will take some time to dive into this topic to help give you better tools to work on and things to consider to help communication between you and your spouse be more effective and more loving. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

• Today we are talking about cultivating a relationship with Jesus Christ. You might be wondering how this would have anything to do with how I communicate with my spouse, but as you will see by the time we end today there is a strong connection.
• I saved this episode for the last in our series because I do believe that it is the cornerstone for all the rest. You may have read in the bible that Jesus is considered the cornerstone.
• The definition of a cornerstone is a “stone that forms the base of a corner of a building, joining two walls.”
• As such Jesus is the cornerstone that brings together the other 9 episodes on communication with this one.
• There may be some of you that listen to this podcast who are not Christian or that take offense to Christianity. I often think a lot of this has to do with the human beings that have mistreated you or maybe twisted things. It could even come from the belief that Christianity is not inclusive.
• I am not here today to argue any of these points, but rather to share some helpful scripture that may help in how you communicate with your spouse.
• As you may or may not know Jesus was known for speaking the “truth in love.” He had a way of speaking about what was right, just, and moral, but he did it in a way that was caring and loving.
• I love what 1 Peter 3:15 says about this. It says “… in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.
• So if we have an issue with someone in our life, we should bring that issue to them by speaking the truth about whether it is building up or tearing down. But again we must do it in a way that is gentle.
• Other than the anger that Jesus showed when people were turning a place of worship into a place of money exchange where things were bought and sold, he was always very gentle and kind to those who were considered “less than” in his society.
• So what some ways to cultivate your relationship with Jesus and also what are the benefits? Lets discuss that now:
  • Quiet Prayer: Getting alone in a room such as a closet or maybe even going out in nature can help increase hearing what many call the quiet still voice of the Lord. Above all in prayer focus on thanking the Lord for all he has done and to desire simply to increase the relationship. Make it less about a list of what you “want.”
  • Scripture Reading About Communication: There are many passages about communication that can be very helpful to meditate on and memorize to recall when you need them. Here are a few:
    • James 1:19 - Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
    • James 3:3-5 - When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
    • Proverbs 18:13 - Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.
  • Gathering With Others Who Have Strong Marriages and uphold Christ at the Center of the Marriage – Learning from others in this position who have strong relationships but are willing to also share when they mess up can be so incredibly powerful, encouraging and helpful.
  • Find and Attend a good Bible believing Church. If you find a church like this you will quite often be exposed to sermons about healthy ways to communicate with and treat your spouse. Do this for several years and the good will continue to accumulate.
  • Teach others About What Has Worked for You and Your Spouse. There is nothing like cementing what you have learned about good communication from your prayer time, reading the Bible, attending church, and learning from others that will help when you share with others. This will often come back to strengthen your relationship and communication.
• We really hope you have enjoyed this entire series on communication. Please go back through episodes 182 through this one which is 191 and you will get all sorts of great information and perspectives on how to make your communication with your spouse and your family even healthier.

Resources:

• None Mentioned

Thanks For Listening!

• With so many things that take time in our lives, I am more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.
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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute! Take care.