178: The Power of a Relationship Building Workshop

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about taking time to work on your relationship with the help of a marriage workshop. Whether your relationship is incredibly strong, needs help in a few areas, or even needs a complete overhaul, then spending one full day working together can reap extreme rewards. Today we will discuss the power of devoting time in a workshop with a trained facilitator that can have positive benefits. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

• Relationships especially the ones between us the person we love most in the world can be some of the most wonderful and the most difficult.
• There are of course lots of reasons for this. Probably the biggest reason is how intertwined our lives are from the emotional connection, the physical connection, parenting, finances, leisure time activities and on and on.
• Another reason it can be the most wonderful is the amount of time you spend together. Even though we might spend a lot of time at work, most likely are still spending more time with our spouse even if some of it is while asleep.
• The number of decisions you must try to make while being collaborative can also be an extremely positive thing but when it is not working can also be the most frustrating.
• There are all sorts of things you can do to help your relationship get to a better place or to even strengthen beyond where it may already be.
• You could read a good relationship book together.
• How about a workbook with items to fill out and exercises to complete together.
• You can take a relationship quiz. The 5 Love Language quiz is one that comes to mind. This was an idea developed by Gary Chapman in which his theory that we have one or two ways in which we liked to be loved above others.
• You can join a small group of other couples especially in church like settings.
• You could take a vacation together just the two of you to relax and work on being present with each other since the kids and other distractions are not there.
• You can attend couples counseling together. Usually couples counseling involves 1 hour sessions once or twice a week. Depending on the level of severity of the issue, some couples will devote a couple of months to the process. Some may take longer, a year or more especially if there has been a significant betrayal of trust like infidelity.
• So all sorts of great things you can do to strengthen your relationship. But might I propose in something that I believe in more strongly that the suggestions listed above for most couples?
• It is a Marriage or Relationship Building Workshop which can benefit those that are married or unmarried.
• Workshops can run for a few hours, one full day, and in some cases for 2-3 days.
• Group workshops are held for several couples at once. Some groups offer smaller more intimate settings with like 10 or few couples. Some group workshops are held for hundreds of couples.
  • Pros of a Group Workshop: The biggest pro is that the more couples present the more you may be able to learn from others and also more opportunities to share with other couples. Obviously this depends on how many couples are present and also how much time is devoted for discussion and/or having periods to gather with a few couples at a time.
  • The potential negative of a group forum is less time interacting with the facilitator. Also, while most workshops do not pressure couples to speak or publicly disclose, it may still feel less private than working one on one with a facilitator.
• Private couples workshops are held for one couple at a time. In this case there is usually just the facilitator and the one couple working together for the entirety of the workshop. The positive and negative can often be the opposite of the group workshop.
  • The potential positive is again getting more time with the facilitator where you can ask questions and get more feedback when engaging in exercises with your partner. It can also feel more private and you can feel more at ease to dive into something deeper especially during the exercises.
  • The negative might be not having other couples facing similar issues that you can have some time during exercises and or breaks to talk to. With a private group this is not possible.

• Live Online or In Person?
  • This is another thing to think about when selecting a workshop. Many are offered live and online while many others are offered online.
  • Of course in the time while we are all still dealing with the social distancing and masks etc, online workshops might be more appealing.
  • Also depending on your hectic schedules finding something online could also work better.
• Format of workshops:
  • All workshops may be run a bit differently, but usually there are 3-4 very common processes that take place.
  • First, there is a time for education where the facilitator may take some time to discuss something like emotional connection, communication, conflict, intimacy, or goals just to name a few.
  • Couples exercises where the couple gets to experience in real time some activities or discussions about the learnings they just had on a particular topic.
  • Group Discussion often will follow the exercises (or discussion with the facilitator if a private workshop) so that the couples can learn and share with each other
  • Assessments (or surveys) are often given to the couples on various topics around relationships. This helps the couples better understand each other and the dynamics that may be present between them.
• In my opinion relationship building workshops are in the sweet spot of things you can do and try to increase your relationship satisfaction.
• Reading books or completing workbooks on your own sometimes takes discipline to maintain consistency.
• On the other end things like couples counseling over a period of months or a week’s vacation can involve a lot of time and great expense.
• A relationship building workshop puts the discipline of consistency at least during the workshop on the facilitator’s shoulders. You simply show up and follow the prompting of the facilitator.
• Also the time involved to take a relationship building workshop is much shorter and involves taking less time away from family or work.
• There is currently research underway that is suggesting that an intensive workshop may have equal or better benefit and just as long last results as months of couples counseling.
• Brian’s Lasting Connection Workshop
  • I am currently offering a relationship building workshop that takes place over the course of 1 day.
  • The workshops are offered live online through Zoom which many of you are now familiar.
  • The workshops are done in a group setting with other couples and use the format we just talked about which involves periods of education, application (couples exercises to practice), group discussion, and assessments (surveys) to take about your relationship.
  • The current workshops are held on Friday’s from 8 am – 4:30 pm Eastern Time on the following dates:
    • March 19, 2021
    • April 16, 2021
    • May 21, 2021
  • For listeners of the Remarried Life Podcast, I am offering $100 off to show my appreciation for your support.
    • Go to following link: theremarriedlife.com/workshop
    • Click on one of the dates that works best.
    • Then enter the Promo Code: TRL100
    • The promo code may only stay around for those 3 workshops so act now to get $100 off.
  • Hope to see you at the workshop with your partner.

Resources:

• Brian’s Virtual Couples Workshop
• The 5 Love Languages
• 5 Love Languages Quiz
• The Love Dare
• The Respect Dare

Thanks For Listening!

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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute! Take care.