171: Keeping the Positive Perspective in Your Blended Family: Part 3 – Making and Recognizing Attempts

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer discusses how to maintain a positive perspective within you blended family. Negativity can become a very common mental state for many if not all members of the family. In this three part series we will take a look at ways you may not have thought of to help maintain more positivity for you personally and in your relationships with your family. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

• Today in part 3 of our series on maintaining more positivity, we the attempts we make at emotionally connecting with each other.
• In most couples relationships, there is a dynamic present called Pursuer Withdrawer. The Pursuer is usually the one in the relationship that brings up issues and complaints more often. The Withdrawer is the one that usually defends, deflects, or shuts down amid these complaints.
• As you can imagine a very negative cycle of feelings can generate as a result of this dynamic thus reducing this positivity we are trying to work hard to generate in your relationship and your blended family.
• So what do we do here. Well lets start with you Pursuers out there.
• For Pursuers you should cherish when your Withdrawing partner does make an attempt to do something that you have been asking for. It is certainly easy to focus on the times your partner doesn’t come through for you, but appreciation when something is done positively can have a, well positive effect.
• For Withdrawers, you simply need to make more attempts and do a little more of what your Pursuer partner is asking for. Now of course if it is presented in the form of a criticism then of course that can be difficult to overcome. A quick discussion about delivering something in a different way can help.
• If you both can do those simple things when it comes to attempts it can certainly help with the positive feelings.

Resources:

• None Mentioned Today

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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute! Take care.