163: Are You a Politically Mismatched Couple?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about times have changed where the politics of the day have become much about how much hate and venom we can spew at one another. The political mismatch and the passion that flows from it can also be present in our homes. Are you and your spouse politically mismatched? Let’s talk about this today and some ways to handle keeping the powder keg from exploding. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

• Elections happen all the time and what better time can we talk about politics and the effect on your relationship with your spouse than now.
• Many couples are politically on the same side of the aisle, but many more than we often think are on opposite sides of many of the issues. Where do you and your spouse stand? Same side on many issues, same side and some but not all issues, or on completely different sides.
• Not sure where I heard this, but up to 40% of all couples are apparently politically mismatched. That is a lot! Are you one of those couples?
• Maybe you are a couple that completely agrees on most issues, maybe you disagree on some or maybe you disagree on most.
• If you disagree on most you are definitely not alone. If you do disagree on most, are you a couple that gets along through the disagreements or not?
• If you don’t get along through, you might wonder who that is possible. Well probably the most famous politically divided couple are James Carville and Mary Matalin. But again how do they do it. Carville once said that loving his wife is more important than politics. Not sure exactly how that plays in their relationship but have to assume they keep the arguing in check.
• So how does it work for the two of you? Do you get heated when it comes to politics? Are you both so passionate that you just want to be heard but aren’t? What do you do about it?
• We have some thoughts about that today. If you have listened to the podcast for any length of time you know that we focus on the process and not so much the outcome and today is no different.

• Ask if Your Partner is open to hearing something you are passionate about first
• Speak to Share and not to Persuade
• Listen to Understand and Not Respond
• Watch Your Tone and Body Language
• Try as best you can to understand that there could be another way, but at the end of the day that does mean that you have to change your position
• Ask each other when these opinions developed. Was it childhood? Was it because of a specific life event that shaped your belief?
• Be careful not to interrupt which is of course not modeled politically
• Also be careful not to shut down
• Don’t go on and on and on, otherwise you could be inviting an interruption or a shutdown.

• Ultimately it isn’t about solving these disagreements, but more just being careful with how you approach and talk about these heated topics with your spouse.

Resources:

• None Today

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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute! Take care.