A Guide to Life’s Hurdles | Motherhood Edition

The Motherhood Kit

As adults, we survive and grow through many of life’s trials and tribulations. But how does a child navigate difficult transitions in life? With the support of their parents. As a mother, what is the best way to prepare your child for their parents’ divorce or separation, moving to a new place or adding a new family member?
In this episode, Dr. Laura Tillman - a clinical psychologist & partner at partner Coastal Psychological Group, LLC with specialized training in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy - emphasizes the importance of preparing children for major life changes, with an approach centered on compassion and empathy. She has over nine years of experience working with people in private practice, community mental health, and hospital settings.

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Married adults who decide to separate or divorce usually know up to a year before it actually happens, and a lot of thought goes into planning the next phase of their independent lives. How do you shelter your children from the shock of a major life change like this? Mom and psychologist Dr. Tillman unpack some of the events that may be causing trauma and anxiety in children, and how to best tackle the resulting behavioral changes.
What Takes An Emotional Toll On Children
Children are often more affected by the arguing and tension before a separation than the separation itself. To minimize harm, avoid discussing issues or venting frustrations about the other parent in front of the child, and foster healthy relationships between both parents and the child.
Tools and Techniques to Support Children
Help children manage their emotions through deep breathing exercises, spending time outdoors, and regular one-on-one time with each parent. These practices will improve emotional management, create a sense of security, and strengthen parent-child connections.
Coping Tips for Moms
Involve children in age-appropriate decision-making related to major life changes, validate their feelings, and allow time for them to process changes. If needed, seek therapy for you and your child to provide extra support during difficult times.
Behavioral Changes in Children
Monitor children for mood symptoms, behavioral changes, and withdrawal, as these may indicate difficulties adjusting to change. Children might exhibit control through picky eating or poor hygiene, or show aggression and withdrawal.
Support and Acknowledging Weaknesses
Acknowledge your weaknesses as a parent and seek support from your community, friends, and family. Don't hesitate to get additional help when necessary. Remember, raising children is a challenging yet rewarding responsibility.