You have such a pretty face! Women, Trauma Food & Addiction with Kelley Gunter

Sex, Love, and Addiction

Kelley Gunter is an internationally acclaimed speaker, life coach, and author of the memoir, You Have Such a Pretty Face. She is a survivor, emotional warrior, and a woman in recovery who is unafraid to tell her truth. She went through a 243lb weight loss journey and opens up about her multiple addictions in this week's episode. If she can get through to the other side, so can you.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:05] For many women, it's very hard to tell their truth due to society's expectations of them.

[3:35] Kelley shares why now is the perfect time to share her truth and her story.

[4:05] Kelley made a promise to God that if she could get past this dark time in her life, she will use her voice to empower others.

[6:15] When Kelley was 400lb, people would often tell her it was 'such a shame' she was so overweight because 'she had such a pretty face'. It killed her soul every time she heard that.

[7:40] When trying to give a compliment, drop out the qualifier. Just say you're pretty!

[9:10] Kelley shares her experiences on what it was like to be 'that fat girl'.

[11:25] A lot of women end up consciously gaining a large amount of weight because it makes them feel safe and keeps an arm's distance away from men. Kelley shares her thoughts on this.

[12:45] How does someone gain 400lb?

[14:45] Our pain speaks to us in different languages.

[21:10] Kelley was terribly insecure and would often try to buy everybody’s love.

[23:50] Most of our addictions don’t come up as ‘just one thing’. It’s a host of issues.

[24:45] Kelley’s gambling issues brought everything and her whole life to her knees.

[26:30] Kelley knew she wasn’t a bad person, she was a broken person. We all make mistakes, but we aren’t our mistakes.

[31:40] Remember, tomorrow is a new day.

[34:45] Kelley talks about her upcoming second book.

RESOURCES:

The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Connect with Kelley: Kelleygunter.com

Kelley’s book: You Have Such a Pretty Face

QUOTES:

• “I was in such a dark place in my life, I was praying to God to let me die, and I couldn't find any truthful stories of people who had made mistakes, people who had suffered, and came out on the other side of it.”
• “The world can be very, very cruel. Even more painful than the mean comments was that I was just invisible. The world just sees right past you, like you don't even matter.”
• “Food was the one thing I could go to that would never let me down. I wasn't trying to push people away, but it was the only thing I loved and it loved me back.”
• “Unhealed trauma will sit quietly in the control room of your soul dictating every calamity.”