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Turning 40 and Overcoming Disordered Eating and Exercise to Find Joyful Movement and Food Freedom

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Manage episode 345204840 series 3335979
コンテンツは Stephanie McLaughlin によって提供されます。エピソード、グラフィック、ポッドキャストの説明を含むすべてのポッドキャスト コンテンツは、Stephanie McLaughlin またはそのポッドキャスト プラットフォーム パートナーによって直接アップロードされ、提供されます。誰かがあなたの著作権で保護された作品をあなたの許可なく使用していると思われる場合は、ここで概説されているプロセスに従うことができますhttps://ja.player.fm/legal

Turning 40 and Overcoming Disordered Eating and Exercise to Find Joyful Movement and Food Freedom

Kim Hagle was a stay at home mom to three young kids when she started working out with a personal trainer. She loved how she felt - and looked - and eventually got certified as a trainer herself. But her hobby-turned-career turned into an unhealthy obsession with size and weight. Kim’s journey to self acceptance began with the baby she had at 40: a beautiful boy with Down Syndrome who taught her to just be herself. At the age of 42, she overcame disordered eating and exercise habits, and obsessing over her weight and found joyful movement, body acceptance and food freedom.

Guest Bio

Kim Hagle is Certified Personal Trainer, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Body Image Coach and founder of Radiant Vitality Wellness. Kim hosts The Joyful Movement Show podcast, where she inspires women to disconnect movement from weight loss and re-engage with movement as a form of self care. Through movement and mindset coaching, she helps women heal their relationship with food and exercise while disconnecting their worth from their weight, so they can feel healthy, happy and confident in the body they have.

A New Hobby Leads to an Unhealthy Obsession

At 35, Kim Hagle had left her nursing career to be a stay at home mom to her three kids. While she valued being at home with the kids and they could afford for her to be home, Kim had always valued her career. So she found herself struggling with her identity. She felt a lot of “not enough-ness” and she thought it was because she wasn’t happy with her body and she had to lose weight.

While she had a long history of dieting, she had never been athletic and had never worked out. A friend turned her on to a personal trainer who would come to the house while the baby was napping. As she worked out, she started feeling stronger and more capable, and the hobby turned into an obsession. She started running and winning road races and fitness became as much her identity as stay-at-home-mom. She eventually got certified as a personal trainer and decided to turn it into her career - but it pretty quickly turned into an unhealthy obsession.

Kim said she was always a “straight size,” meaning she could always walk into any store and find something that fit. But she thinks most women are conditioned to think that if we just lost weight, we’d feel better. And, at the beginning, she did get a lot of validation and praise for how she looked. But that came with anxiety around “what if I gain the weight back?”

In about a year, Kim lost about 50 pounds and dropped from a size 12 to a size 2, but maintaining that required a lot of work. She had to watch what she ate very closely. She had to exercise for multiple hours each day, every day. Through it all, she wondered if there was some accolade or accomplishment that would finally make her feel good enough, but she never found it.

And, when her youngest child was four, she and her husband decided to end their marriage, which caused her to be more obsessive about her heating and working out - not so much as a quest to be thin, but as a mode of stress relief. She found she ran a lot during that time.

A Second Chance at Love

A few months after her divorce, Kim met a man she thought would be a summer fling but who she soon realized was the real deal. They dated long distance for a while and got married when she was 39.

Her husband didn’t have any children of his own and as their relationship developed, Kim realized how important it was to him to become a dad. In their discussions about having children, Kim told him that, because of her age, there was a high likelihood that their child would have chromosomal abnormalities. Her then-boyfriend’s response was "No big deal. Like If that happens it's what's meant to be, it'll be great. We'll rock it."

At that moment, Kim had a vision of a little blonde boy with down syndrome running towards them. And now they are parents to a little five year old blonde boy with down syndrome who is the light of their life.

When they got the news that their baby did, in fact, have chromosomal abnormalities, it still came as a shock and Kim says she had some fears to work through. But she felt the love and support of her husband and they chose to proceed with the pregnancy. She was 40 when their son was born.

Kim quickly realized that he was just a baby, like any other baby. She wondered why she was obsessing over looking different, over being different, over being someone other than who she already was. This baby became her teacher. She realized he's just here. He's just him. He's just existing and taking life as it comes. That brought an aha moment where she realized she could just slow down, be grateful, and be present. She realized this baby didn’t need her to be anybody other than who she already was. Her husband didn’t need her to be anybody other than who she already was. She wondered why she was struggling so hard to accept herself and why she wanted to look and be different.

What she came up with for an answer was conditioning and socialization. Women are programmed from an early age that we need to look and act in certain ways to be acceptable. “There are just so many ‘shoulds’ ascribed to us,” she said. Her son Gage was her catalyst for unlearning a lot of that programming.

Kim’s Place in the Fitness Industry

In Canada, new moms get a year of maternity leave and Kim found herself focused on being present with her new baby. She didn’t have the desire to work out as hard or watch every morsel that went into her mouth. She took care of the baby and she took care of herself and that felt great.

But as her maternity leave came to an end, she started thinking about going back to work in a gym. Her body had changed. She was now a size 12 and she heard the echoes of people in her head saying “as a personal trainer, your body is your business card,” and she wondered if she belonged in the fitness industry at all. The gym job she would return to was at a YMCA, which was inclusive and not focused on image or looks, so these were pressures she was putting on herself. She thought if she didn’t have the perfect, fit, little body, maybe she didn’t belong in fitness.

Kim did a great deal of internal work to get to a place of knowing that she didn’t have to look a certain way to be a credible professional in the fitness industry and that there’s a whole world of health at every size. There’s also a whole world of women who need to know that they can achieve their health and fitness goals regardless of whether their body changes.

In a surprise twist, Kim has found those realizations liberating and fun. She feels much more rewarded in her career and her business has become more successful. She’s also attracted a totally different kind of clientele. “When we just take weight off the table and focus on feeling good, feeling the best in the body that you have, it's so much easier to be successful,” she said.

People often look to physical trainers to push them and motivate them and we give them a lot of power, as if they should know what’s best for our body. But trainers shouldn’t pretend they do know what’s best for someone else’s body. “You are the authority of your body,” Kim says. “you know what feels good. And what you do today might be different or more or less than what you did yesterday, or next week. It changes; it’s fluid. How am I supposed to know what you need today?”

Joyful Movement

Now, Kim wants her body to work as well as it can for as long as it can. She wants to be able to do the things that she enjoys for as long as possible, without pain, or with as little pain as possible, and have fun doing it. Now she thinks of it in terms of Joyful Movement (also the name of her podcast).

While not all movement is joyful - some things we do aren’t necessarily fun in the moment - but when we enjoy it we’re more likely to stick with it. Movement that we dread is not motivating, nor is it sustainable for a long term.

From Orthorexia to Intuitive Eating

Though she was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, if Kim had been more honest with her doctor, she might have been. Orthorexia, however - the obsession with “health” - is not a diagnosable disorder. And it’s easily overlooked when a person is eating healthy food and exercising, but even that can become an obsession.

After trying pretty much every diet or way of eating, Kim knows from experience that the research that says 95% of intentional weight loss efforts fail is accurate. “It doesn't matter what you call it,” Kim said. “When we restrict food, when we don't honor our hunger and our fullness and our satisfaction, it's a diet and it will end up failing eventually. And the greatest predictor of weight gain is dieting or restriction.”

Today, Kim eats whatever she wants. She eats intuitively and teaches intuitive eating. Though there are no rules with intuitive eating, there are guiding principles, including: listening to your hunger. Honoring your fullness. And, satisfaction is key. “With intuitive eating, we ignore all of the rules and all the shoulds from diet culture and learn to tune back into our own body to inform what and how much and when we should eat, just like we all did when we were born,” Kim said.

Not until Kim started doing the work of getting mentally healthy around her obsessive behavior, did she realize that she could choose her thoughts and she could choose which thoughts to believe. One of the most powerful thoughts Kim used in her own work, before she had reached the place of body acceptance, was a version of “yes, and” that is typically associated with improv. “ Yes. I wish my body looked differently. Or yes, I wish my body performed differently (or put in whatever it is you wish for) and I commit to being kind to the body that I have today,” she said. “No matter what you desire to be different, you can be kind and you can be respectful to the body that you have because it does so many amazing things for you.”

Joyful Movement

Joyful Movement is one of the principles of intuitive eating. The concept is to feel the difference when you exercise or move your body in ways that feel good and that are nourishing to you. For Kim’s business, joyful movement is associated with disconnecting our "why" for movement from changing our body, which is generally the focus in the fitness industry. When exercise is a horrible, hateful thing we do just to try to change ourselves, it’s no wonder we struggle with motivation and dread exercise.

“When we disconnect from changing ourselves and instead focus on using movement as a way to care for ourselves and contributing to our life, adding to our life, we are actually open to enjoying it a whole lot more,” Kim said. She is on a mission to help women disconnect from diet culture, and stop beating their body, and punishing their body through exercise, and instead experience the amazing benefits that come from having a consistent and enjoyable movement practice.

Sponsor

The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Additional Resources

The Joyful Movement Podcast

Radiant Vitality Website

Facebook

Instagram

Tell me a fantastic “forty story.”

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Podcasts

  continue reading

88 つのエピソード

Artwork
iconシェア
 
Manage episode 345204840 series 3335979
コンテンツは Stephanie McLaughlin によって提供されます。エピソード、グラフィック、ポッドキャストの説明を含むすべてのポッドキャスト コンテンツは、Stephanie McLaughlin またはそのポッドキャスト プラットフォーム パートナーによって直接アップロードされ、提供されます。誰かがあなたの著作権で保護された作品をあなたの許可なく使用していると思われる場合は、ここで概説されているプロセスに従うことができますhttps://ja.player.fm/legal

Turning 40 and Overcoming Disordered Eating and Exercise to Find Joyful Movement and Food Freedom

Kim Hagle was a stay at home mom to three young kids when she started working out with a personal trainer. She loved how she felt - and looked - and eventually got certified as a trainer herself. But her hobby-turned-career turned into an unhealthy obsession with size and weight. Kim’s journey to self acceptance began with the baby she had at 40: a beautiful boy with Down Syndrome who taught her to just be herself. At the age of 42, she overcame disordered eating and exercise habits, and obsessing over her weight and found joyful movement, body acceptance and food freedom.

Guest Bio

Kim Hagle is Certified Personal Trainer, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Body Image Coach and founder of Radiant Vitality Wellness. Kim hosts The Joyful Movement Show podcast, where she inspires women to disconnect movement from weight loss and re-engage with movement as a form of self care. Through movement and mindset coaching, she helps women heal their relationship with food and exercise while disconnecting their worth from their weight, so they can feel healthy, happy and confident in the body they have.

A New Hobby Leads to an Unhealthy Obsession

At 35, Kim Hagle had left her nursing career to be a stay at home mom to her three kids. While she valued being at home with the kids and they could afford for her to be home, Kim had always valued her career. So she found herself struggling with her identity. She felt a lot of “not enough-ness” and she thought it was because she wasn’t happy with her body and she had to lose weight.

While she had a long history of dieting, she had never been athletic and had never worked out. A friend turned her on to a personal trainer who would come to the house while the baby was napping. As she worked out, she started feeling stronger and more capable, and the hobby turned into an obsession. She started running and winning road races and fitness became as much her identity as stay-at-home-mom. She eventually got certified as a personal trainer and decided to turn it into her career - but it pretty quickly turned into an unhealthy obsession.

Kim said she was always a “straight size,” meaning she could always walk into any store and find something that fit. But she thinks most women are conditioned to think that if we just lost weight, we’d feel better. And, at the beginning, she did get a lot of validation and praise for how she looked. But that came with anxiety around “what if I gain the weight back?”

In about a year, Kim lost about 50 pounds and dropped from a size 12 to a size 2, but maintaining that required a lot of work. She had to watch what she ate very closely. She had to exercise for multiple hours each day, every day. Through it all, she wondered if there was some accolade or accomplishment that would finally make her feel good enough, but she never found it.

And, when her youngest child was four, she and her husband decided to end their marriage, which caused her to be more obsessive about her heating and working out - not so much as a quest to be thin, but as a mode of stress relief. She found she ran a lot during that time.

A Second Chance at Love

A few months after her divorce, Kim met a man she thought would be a summer fling but who she soon realized was the real deal. They dated long distance for a while and got married when she was 39.

Her husband didn’t have any children of his own and as their relationship developed, Kim realized how important it was to him to become a dad. In their discussions about having children, Kim told him that, because of her age, there was a high likelihood that their child would have chromosomal abnormalities. Her then-boyfriend’s response was "No big deal. Like If that happens it's what's meant to be, it'll be great. We'll rock it."

At that moment, Kim had a vision of a little blonde boy with down syndrome running towards them. And now they are parents to a little five year old blonde boy with down syndrome who is the light of their life.

When they got the news that their baby did, in fact, have chromosomal abnormalities, it still came as a shock and Kim says she had some fears to work through. But she felt the love and support of her husband and they chose to proceed with the pregnancy. She was 40 when their son was born.

Kim quickly realized that he was just a baby, like any other baby. She wondered why she was obsessing over looking different, over being different, over being someone other than who she already was. This baby became her teacher. She realized he's just here. He's just him. He's just existing and taking life as it comes. That brought an aha moment where she realized she could just slow down, be grateful, and be present. She realized this baby didn’t need her to be anybody other than who she already was. Her husband didn’t need her to be anybody other than who she already was. She wondered why she was struggling so hard to accept herself and why she wanted to look and be different.

What she came up with for an answer was conditioning and socialization. Women are programmed from an early age that we need to look and act in certain ways to be acceptable. “There are just so many ‘shoulds’ ascribed to us,” she said. Her son Gage was her catalyst for unlearning a lot of that programming.

Kim’s Place in the Fitness Industry

In Canada, new moms get a year of maternity leave and Kim found herself focused on being present with her new baby. She didn’t have the desire to work out as hard or watch every morsel that went into her mouth. She took care of the baby and she took care of herself and that felt great.

But as her maternity leave came to an end, she started thinking about going back to work in a gym. Her body had changed. She was now a size 12 and she heard the echoes of people in her head saying “as a personal trainer, your body is your business card,” and she wondered if she belonged in the fitness industry at all. The gym job she would return to was at a YMCA, which was inclusive and not focused on image or looks, so these were pressures she was putting on herself. She thought if she didn’t have the perfect, fit, little body, maybe she didn’t belong in fitness.

Kim did a great deal of internal work to get to a place of knowing that she didn’t have to look a certain way to be a credible professional in the fitness industry and that there’s a whole world of health at every size. There’s also a whole world of women who need to know that they can achieve their health and fitness goals regardless of whether their body changes.

In a surprise twist, Kim has found those realizations liberating and fun. She feels much more rewarded in her career and her business has become more successful. She’s also attracted a totally different kind of clientele. “When we just take weight off the table and focus on feeling good, feeling the best in the body that you have, it's so much easier to be successful,” she said.

People often look to physical trainers to push them and motivate them and we give them a lot of power, as if they should know what’s best for our body. But trainers shouldn’t pretend they do know what’s best for someone else’s body. “You are the authority of your body,” Kim says. “you know what feels good. And what you do today might be different or more or less than what you did yesterday, or next week. It changes; it’s fluid. How am I supposed to know what you need today?”

Joyful Movement

Now, Kim wants her body to work as well as it can for as long as it can. She wants to be able to do the things that she enjoys for as long as possible, without pain, or with as little pain as possible, and have fun doing it. Now she thinks of it in terms of Joyful Movement (also the name of her podcast).

While not all movement is joyful - some things we do aren’t necessarily fun in the moment - but when we enjoy it we’re more likely to stick with it. Movement that we dread is not motivating, nor is it sustainable for a long term.

From Orthorexia to Intuitive Eating

Though she was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, if Kim had been more honest with her doctor, she might have been. Orthorexia, however - the obsession with “health” - is not a diagnosable disorder. And it’s easily overlooked when a person is eating healthy food and exercising, but even that can become an obsession.

After trying pretty much every diet or way of eating, Kim knows from experience that the research that says 95% of intentional weight loss efforts fail is accurate. “It doesn't matter what you call it,” Kim said. “When we restrict food, when we don't honor our hunger and our fullness and our satisfaction, it's a diet and it will end up failing eventually. And the greatest predictor of weight gain is dieting or restriction.”

Today, Kim eats whatever she wants. She eats intuitively and teaches intuitive eating. Though there are no rules with intuitive eating, there are guiding principles, including: listening to your hunger. Honoring your fullness. And, satisfaction is key. “With intuitive eating, we ignore all of the rules and all the shoulds from diet culture and learn to tune back into our own body to inform what and how much and when we should eat, just like we all did when we were born,” Kim said.

Not until Kim started doing the work of getting mentally healthy around her obsessive behavior, did she realize that she could choose her thoughts and she could choose which thoughts to believe. One of the most powerful thoughts Kim used in her own work, before she had reached the place of body acceptance, was a version of “yes, and” that is typically associated with improv. “ Yes. I wish my body looked differently. Or yes, I wish my body performed differently (or put in whatever it is you wish for) and I commit to being kind to the body that I have today,” she said. “No matter what you desire to be different, you can be kind and you can be respectful to the body that you have because it does so many amazing things for you.”

Joyful Movement

Joyful Movement is one of the principles of intuitive eating. The concept is to feel the difference when you exercise or move your body in ways that feel good and that are nourishing to you. For Kim’s business, joyful movement is associated with disconnecting our "why" for movement from changing our body, which is generally the focus in the fitness industry. When exercise is a horrible, hateful thing we do just to try to change ourselves, it’s no wonder we struggle with motivation and dread exercise.

“When we disconnect from changing ourselves and instead focus on using movement as a way to care for ourselves and contributing to our life, adding to our life, we are actually open to enjoying it a whole lot more,” Kim said. She is on a mission to help women disconnect from diet culture, and stop beating their body, and punishing their body through exercise, and instead experience the amazing benefits that come from having a consistent and enjoyable movement practice.

Sponsor

The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Additional Resources

The Joyful Movement Podcast

Radiant Vitality Website

Facebook

Instagram

Tell me a fantastic “forty story.”

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Podcasts

  continue reading

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