You Stay Here and Run the Website

Scream Queens

Have you ever wondered to yourself "If I was a cult leader which one would I be?"
And how about "which celebrity is most like the cult leader that I would be?"
Well now what if I told you that the answer to this (and many more of life's questions) lies in the stars? That's right, its every millennial's favourite instagram trend! Astrology!
Love it, or hate its, it enables us to make fun of entire groups of people via sweeping generalised statements for the only thing that is acceptable anymore in 2020; when they were born (Fuck you, Geminis)
But wait? Isn't this a follow up to last weeks Cults episode? What does astrology have to do with that?
A LOT.
This week we explore tragically comedic/comedically tragic Heaven's Gate - Marshal Applewhite(not Bottom)'s orgy of Christian theology, new age drama and Science Fiction - complete with Luciferians, comet-tail riding alien gods, and an actual SPACE JESUS. It's a real doozy. We also meet Linda, who assume runs the cult's still active website, and oh my god if she is not our favourite person in the world. However, a poorly thought out email to her ended up in our instagram getting disabled briefly.
In this episode we also play Conor's THE BEST GAME IN THE WORLD(citation needed) to explore not only the birth charts of the big league cult leaders, but also match them up with their celebastrodopplegangers who share their placements so we know which celebrities (varying degrees of fame/hilarity) we should keep an eye on.
We also learn of Conor's recent foray in accidental witchcraft by summoning the ghost of Stevie Nicks to literally assault a woman, and Dannii visiting old friends in grave yards. She also calls Conor "Phat"... apparently....
This episode has somehow managed to be longer than our "Halloween" special, but we don't care because at this point we've accepted that its pointless for us to even attempt to put a time limit on this thing.