154: 3 Things You Need to Know when You Date Someone with Herpes with Alexandra Harbushka

Life With Herpes

So the person you like just told you they have herpes. You’re thinking should I date them? What does this mean for me? How’s this going to play into our dating and sex life?

Ok so first let me calm you down and let you know what it feels like when you’re first diagnosed with herpes. Seriously, dating or being able to date is the number one fear. We think that nobody will date us and that our life is over! The fear of rejection is a real thing and so telling the person we like that we have herpes is really scary.

So firstly before you make an decisions I want to make sure you’re aware that the person you’re dating really respects you. He or she took a leap of faith and told you their deep dark secret. They told you that they have herpes. This was really hard for them so I hope that you give them some credit and acknowledge that it was hard for them.

Here are the top questions you’re going to have when dating someone with herpes:

Can you still have sex?

YES, the answer is yes! You can still have a normal and healthy sex life if you or your partner has herpes! And yes, you can do something to prevent prevention. There are so many stories of people who’ve been together for years and have not yet transmitted it. It really boils down to communication and trusting your partner to disclose to you when they had their last outbreak or if they feel one coming on. Here are 3 ways you can prevent transmission to your partner.

Having herpes doesn’t mean they’ve slept around.

In general we all have this idea or preconceived notion that people with herpes have slept around and that’s obviously how they got herpes. Well this is 100% BS and false. We all have an idea of the “type” of person who has herpes and clearly because of the stigma it creates this false reality of people who have herpes.

You have already been exposed to the herpes virus before meeting them.

Of course when our partner tells us that they have herpes it’s normal to freak out and think that you’re automatically going to get herpes too. Well here’s the thing, you’ve already been exposed to the herpes virus weather it’s HSV 1 or HSV 2. ⅔ people have HSV 1 and ⅙ people have HSV 2 so there’s no way you can go through life and not have been exposed. You’ve shared a burger, a cigarette, had a sip of someone's beer or coca cola. It’s just impossible for you to not have come into contact with it.

Remember at the end of the day this person really cares about you and he or she has great integrity. They told you that they have herpes because they felt the importance of disclosing and making sure you have the decision.

If you have more herpes questions, and probably you do, feel free to check out more videos and this blog. Oh and of course, you can reach out with any questions.

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes?

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

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