Episode 250 - Five Star Pull

Here's What I Don't Get

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Five years strong and growing! Thanks to all out listeners and supporters, and shoutout to Flinstones Vitamins for keeping our bones healthy! As we snort another batch, let us regale you with our tales of nerd rage about:

- Zombieland: Double Tap
- Mobile Game Economy
- A Lack of Visible Artistry
- Collectibles

A bad sequel can be just that. But a bad sequel to a movie you didn't love in the first place? Well, that can just ruin your whole frame of reference for the original. A combination of annoying characters, a lack of laughs, and a general blandness to the whole thing leaves Zombieland 2 kinda like a zombie that ran into a tree and can't get free. It's a bad version of something that already wore out its welcome.

Whether it's medieval fantasy, dinosaurs, superheroes, or scantily clad anime babes, you can bet that the hot new mobile games will rely on multiple timers, forms of currency, and lootboxes. 1 Gold Box is 1.99, but 5 Gold Boxes is 7.99. And 50 Gold Boxes for 69.99 is the BEST OFFER! Well, it's the best offer if you like krill. These games can get by with 5 million people that don't drop a dime into it. That's what the ads are for. But that 0.000001% of users? The whales that drop a fat hundo every day just on the chance they can get an ultra rare 5 star Deadpool? That's where the money's at. And those are the people they care about. You're a serf.

Ever see a good ventriloquist act? There's a guy with his hand in a puppet's ass the whole time. But if he's good he can really make it feel like he's talking to a whole-ass person. I know Rowlf the Dog and The Swedish Chef are puppets. My brain knows that Jim Henson was under a table or some rig puppeteering them, but dammit, they're real to me! I can ignore the visible seams in the construction if the content is good enough. But these days, there are no seams. Everything is pristine digital perfection, but it's made by robots. I'll take a dude in a suit over it any day.

Ah collectibles. Your childhood items that ended up in your trash when you moved, your parent's attic, or on the other side of the country in someone else's trash when they moved, really go for a fortune these days. That old issue of Batman was the first appearance of Tim Drake! And instead of some modern day speculator manchild freak, you read the shit out of that comic book! You lent it to a friend, who spilt grape soda on a page, but you tore it out cause it was just an ad for Castlevania 3 which you already had. You actually used the thing. It wasn't some artificially rare issue, or some factory churned out vinyl doll that'll end up the next Beanie Babies, it was a thing you used and enjoyed like a regular person. Too bad sucker, now a 9.8 CGC graded copy goes for $350.

All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.