Episode 206 - Russian Jimmy Dean


Manage episode 276681347 series 1321650
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Welcome citizens of the former United States of America. Now that your 2020 election has come to an end, I am proud to have been elected to the throne of Supreme Overlord. There will be no further elections, as I will make all decisions for this country from now on. As your Supreme Overlord, I, The Handlebreaker promise that as I shift this land from 50 divided states into one giant kingdom, I will do so with you in mind. As my advisers tell me, the general population is surprisingly a lot like myself, so as my first decree, I am moving Independence Day to June 21 to more accurately represent our interests. 36 years ago, we were freed from the tyranny of not having Rhinestone in our lives. The time has finally come then, to accept our savior, and to rename our country in its honor. Welcome to The United Kingdom of Rhinestone! The White House will be bedazzled in the most glamourous, shining silver! Washington D.C. will officially become Abiegtiddi! All hail Rhinestone!

- Pet Clothes
- Untamed Scale
- Dream People
- Decline of Slasher Films

Putting clothes and outfits and costumes on your pets is not "cute". It's frankly, degrading. Dogs and cats have no awareness of the concept of clothes or modesty, and they certainly don't need them for survival against the weather. Imagine someone forcing an ill-fitting fur suit on you. Wouldn't like it very much, would you?

Some people in life are granted with 20/20 vision, and others need the help of contacts or glasses. Then there are others that apparently have 2000/20 vision. These people can envision the futures they see in their minds and unfortunately have no ability to control it. That's how you end up with the Cheesecake Factory. "We'll make great cheesecakes and sell them!" "That's a great idea, here's your business loan." "Oh, I also want to be a restaurant, but not just for cheesecakes, but for American, Chinese, Italian, Thai, Japanese, Mediterranean, German, Mexican, British, French, Jamaican, Spanish, and Vegans! Also, we'll serve alcohol and cocktails, and have breakfast and brunch too! Oh and we'll give the customers too much food every time!"

The human brain is an amazing thing. Confusing, though. We still don't know what dreams really are. We know they can haunt you, please you, and everything in between. They can also create vividly realistic scenarios and people. The kinds of dreams that can make an atheist believe in past lives and connected consciousness. Hell, there was a Rick and Morty bit about this. Morty plays a super realistic alien video game called Roy where he lives a separate man's mundane life. It's spooky stuff. I'd recommend "The Lamp Story" on reddit for the example I couldn't think of during the show.

It's not there aren't any slasher films around anymore, just that they're different. Every now and then an independent hit or meta flick will come along and gain some steam, but it's not like the 80's and 90's anymore. Back when you had 17 movies just in the 80s just between Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street. That's at least one a year and more likely 2 a year from the big three horror icons. Throw in other well known names and B-level shlock you're seeing 3-5 new movies of extreme violence, gore, and nudity a year. Why aren't the modern slashers living up? They're trying to be scary, for one. Sure some of these had some jump scares and suspense, but a slasher flick is a subgenre of horror. It's supposed to be about creative kills, a rotating carousel of horny teens to kill, and a near invincible menace. But people these days just want the jump scares it seems.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!

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